# What fetishes don't work well in real life? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 25, 2021, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857 "2021-05-25T07:13:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/21 "2021-05-25T20:35:10Z")
I’ve heard of having a fetish for women trapped in quicksand. Maybe you could dig a pit in the back yard and mix some homemade quicksand. I suspect that fetish relies largely on clips from Tarzan movies. Who knows, maybe enthusiasts do go trekking around looking for the real thing. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/22 "2021-05-25T20:46:22Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Who knows, maybe enthusiasts do go trekking around looking for the real thing Boy, are they gonna be disappointed that quicksand doesn’t really work like in the movies. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/23 "2021-05-25T21:19:41Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > Furries. Come on, everyone knew this was gonna make the list. No matter how much money you have, you will never be able to buy an outfit that makes you look like a real life sleek tiger. And your partner isn’t going to look the an over muscled bull with shiny horns. Wait…furries are just into faux bestiality? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/24 "2021-05-25T21:27:01Z")
I remember a thread from back in 2015 that got whisked to the cornfield, that was started by a guy whose fetish was for his girlfriend to not have any bowel movements for 30 days or so. He claimed to fantasize about this constantly and was considering asking his girlfriend to actually attempt it. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/25 "2021-05-25T21:36:02Z")
Somebody had to say it … Fetishes involving under-aged partners work _especially_ badly in real life. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/26 "2021-05-25T21:37:23Z")
I dunno, I think it’s pretty common for people to dress up as kids. That seems easier than dressing up as a centaur. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/27 "2021-05-25T21:41:39Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Fetishes involving under-aged partners work _especially_ badly in real life. Let’s not give pedophiles the respect of calling their horrid acts a fetish. It legitimizes their pathology. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/28 "2021-05-25T21:43:27Z")
There are people who ask their (adult, consensual) partner to wear a diaper and pretend to be a baby. I think that counts as a fetish. I gather it’s a moderately common fetish, even. 🤷‍♂️ And… like women who like to play out fake rape fantasies in which they are actually in control, I doubt the diaper-loving-guys actually want to have sex with real babies. They want a fantasy version where no one gets hurt and all the parties have agency. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/29 "2021-05-25T21:45:05Z")
Suddenly the foot and boob folks are looking quaint. ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/30 "2021-05-25T22:03:17Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > My point was that “being a furry”, as most self-proclaimed “furries” define it, isn’t really hard at all. It doesn’t require dressing up as an animal. I’ll take your word for it, but it runs counter to almost everything I’ve ever read about furries. As far as I know, furries started in underground comix specifically as a sex thing with hybrid human/animal stories. Today, furry conventions are huge and have thousands of people who dress as hybrids. Unlike people who dress up as superheroes at Comicon, these people invent their own characters and backstories, sometimes quite complex. It seems to me costumes are a big part of furrydom. We have a furry on the board that could probably give us a better idea, I think he even did a “ask the…” thread, but even tho he was out at the time I don’t know if he is comfortable talking about it every time a furry question pops up. > [@Omar\_Little](#): > > I remember a thread from back in 2015 that got whisked to the cornfield, that was started by a guy whose fetish was for his girlfriend to not have any bowel movements for 30 days or so. He claimed to fantasize about this constantly and was considering asking his girlfriend to actually attempt it. Not sorry I missed that one, not at all. > [@puzzlegal](#): > > And… like women who like to play out fake rape fantasies in which they are actually in control, I doubt the diaper-loving-guys actually want to have sex with real babies. They want a fantasy version where no one gets hurt and all the parties have agency. Yes, this seems like the common having your middle aged wife dress like a cheerleader type thing. It’s a no harm/no foul type of thing. I do think it’s weird that the guy is just a middle aged guy in the scenario. Why isn’t he in a football uniform, or even a team jacket? Guys are such slackers. He probably orgasms as fast as he did in high school. Something tells me his recovery time is a lot longer. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > Fetishes involving under-aged partners work _especially_ badly in real life. Unfortunately, it often works out well for the older person for a very long time. For the underage boys/girls, not so well at all. And there seems to be an unending supply of abusers and abused. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/31 "2021-05-25T22:14:24Z")
> [@naita](#): > > Or hey, maybe you’re lucky and you get off on people realizing you have a sexual motive for buying the shoes. Or you just don’t give a shit if people know. Or you live in a place where most other people don’t give a shit. How many store owners in San Francisco are going to care about a guy buying himself a pair of women’s shoes? The worst thing a shoe fetishist in SF is going to be called is “vanilla.” ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/32 "2021-05-25T22:33:49Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > The worst thing a shoe fetishist in SF is going to be called is “vanilla.” I don’t know why you would have to hide a shoe fetish either. Maybe if you knocked women down on the streets and stole their shoes, you would hide _that_ part. Otherwise seems to be pretty common. I do think you need a better descriptor than vanilla. There are many flavors of shoe fetishism. Some like the shoes by themselves, some like shoes only with a foot in them, some like to wear them, some like other people to wear them. You know what they say, shoes are a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/33 "2021-05-25T22:49:44Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Actually, my husband is as close to a centaur as humanly possible. You mean, he’s a horse’s ass? 😇 The cover of the ancient Herb Alpert album, “Whipped Cream and Other Delights” had a woman immersed in whipped cream. Actually, more than an ice cream sundae’s worth of whipped cream is not appealing. And it’s messy. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2021, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/34 "2021-05-25T23:41:26Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Suddenly the foot and boob folks are looking quaint. The internet is like that. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/35 "2021-05-26T00:16:27Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > > [@naita](#): > > > > Or hey, maybe you’re lucky and you get off on people realizing you have a sexual motive for buying the shoes. > > Or you just don’t give a shit if people know. Or you live in a place where most other people don’t give a shit. How many store owners in San Francisco are going to care about a guy buying himself a pair of women’s shoes? The worst thing a shoe fetishist in SF is going to be called is “vanilla.” I doubt shoe store owners are unhappy to have foot fetishists even in much more backwater places. They buy shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Bootb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@Bootb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bootb)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/36 "2021-05-26T00:54:21Z")
I guess this is some sort of pet fetish–I have no idea what the “official” name would be. But it typically doesn’t work out well. > **[Boyfriend walks girlfriend on a LEASH in grocery store](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4595946/Boyfriend-walks-girlfriend-leash-grocery-store.html)** > > This is the bizarre moment a boyfriend appears to use a lead to walk his muzzle-wearing girlfriend around a grocery store while appalled shoppers look on. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/37 "2021-05-26T02:11:08Z")
It would be hard to have a bee fetish. I couldn’t find the clip of Paul F. Tompkins on YouTube, but it is very funny. He jokes that there are all sorts of sexy costumes: nurse, vampire, maid, and that he once saw a “sexy bee” costume. He tried to imagine the conversation that led to its purchase. Man: Well, I’ve never told this to anyone, but I’ve always had a thing for bees. Women buys sexy bee costume and surprises husband with it one day. Man: What the hell is this? Are you making fun of me? I have a thing for bees! Not some woman dressed up like a bee!! Not doing it justice. Maybe someone has better Google-fu than I. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/38 "2021-05-26T03:34:57Z")
> [@Wesley\_Clark](#): > > BDSM sounds nice but the participants tend to have large amounts of trauma, attachment issues and mental health issues which makes things difficult for actual relationships. I hear this a lot. It’s not that simple. > **[Study shatters the myth that BDSM is linked to early-life trauma](https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/bdsm-psychology-trauma/)** > > No, being interested in BDSM does not mean you had a traumatic childhood. The article suggests that some people with traumatic histories may be drawn to BDSM as a means of healing and processing trauma. But I don’t think we can generalize too much about a huge number of people who get into the scene for a wide variety of reasons. Even with any given kink, say bondage, if you polled ten different bondage practitioners they would tell you ten different reasons why it works for them. Certainly when playing with fantasies of power and control + trauma it’s a lot to navigate, but there are issues in every relationship where trauma is a factor. Assuming that the BDSM is following safe, sane and consensual guidelines, this explicit embrace of the values of consent, trust and equal power can be particularly attractive to people with sexual trauma. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/39 "2021-05-26T06:25:19Z")
Speaking of Dan Savage, which someone was upthread, I have a disturbingly good memory for some of the weird fetishes that have come up in his column. One that fits the theme of this thread is a fetish for extra limbs - think Hindu gods/goddesses with six arms and six legs. ---
**Author:** ![DemonTree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demontree/32/8646_2.png) [@DemonTree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DemonTree)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2021, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857/40 "2021-05-26T06:31:03Z")
Cannibalism. Technically possible, but you _are_ going to get in trouble. Tentacles aka hentai. The people who fantasise about getting a limb cut off - most doctors are not sympathetic. I know a lot of furries, they seem to get by. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fetishes-dont-work-well-in-real-life/942857.md?page=3)