[Inspector Lugar]I don’t wanna marry Ag-a-ness, Barney. It ain’t the marryin’ part, it’s the Ag-a-ness part![/Inspector Lugar]
Just because this name has been mentioned several times now and nobody has come in and been contrary toward it - I knew a hot Griselda.
Julia
Anita (Netty)
Myrtle
Vivian
With all apologies:
Cecil
Amber, Tiffany, Candy, Bambi, Brandy, Lola, Angel, Bubbles, Jenna, Jessica, Bunny, Cherry, Misty, Peaches, Tawny, Jasmine: none of the names carry that gravitas that I would like to find in a life partner. For one thing, I bet none of them know how to cook or would want to do housework.
Actually, my husband’s first name is Elmer and he’s 34. He goes by his middle name! He’s the 4th in his line and it stops here. His dad claims the name was still fine in 1973, but I don’t believe him. My husband is cute IMO, in spite of his awful name.
I have an old-fashioned name myself, and when you put them together, we sound like 90-yo farmers from North Dakota.
Agnes always reminds me of Agnes von Kurowsky, Hemingway’s young nurse friend, played by the delicious Sandra Bullock. So no points off for Agnes.
Griselda is horror-comicky, but only two letters away from Gisela, which is a very sexy name (especially if you like German women, which I do).
Lois and Virginia might be great-grandmas now, but to me they recall wholesome 1940s girls-next-door.
Jessica? It’s Hebrew. Beautiful. Anyway, beats Zipporah or Hagar all to hell.
My least favorite name: Dorcas. Dorcas? :dubious: 
My favorite name of all time: Elizabeth. I think it sounds like a blessing.
Dwight. No good can come of this name.
Oh, and on the subject of Elmer–the other day I met a very nice elderly woman named–
Elmeretta.
Talk about a double whammy. I guess you could go by Retta, which isn’t so dire, but she didn’t.
Dorcas is bad. Agnes feels like a nice name I ought to like, only it just isn’t.
My father is Hubert Eugene. He was named after his father, Homer Hubert.
My great grandmother was named Mattie (went by Miss Mattie of course, being Texan and all). My younger brother shared a birthday with Miss Mattie and although she died many years ago, he decided to honor her by naming his new daughter Mattie. My sister-in-law was all for it - until she saw it spelled, she thought it was “Maddie.” My new niece is named Maddie Layne (the “Layne” is supposedly to honor my mother, who’s middle name was Lane - her grandmother’s maiden name). I don’t think Maddie Layne is very pretty and doesn’t really honor anybody, not sure why they just didn’t give her the lovely name Madeleine.
Cute baby, though.
It’s been the most popular girls’ name in the U.S. every year for about ten years. (Although it might be behind a few names like Caitlyn if spelling variations are lumped together.) Which means it’ll be an old lady name in 50 years or so, if you think about it.
‘Very traditional’ names like Hannah, Abigail, and Henry are super-popular at the moment. Henry was the 91st-most popular boy’s name last year. I don’t know that the names discussed above are traditional in the same sense - to me, they seem more like things that were popular for a very brief, identifiable space of time, the same way that ‘Ashley’ means ‘young woman born in the 80s or 90s.’ As others have mentioned, in fifty years, Ashley will mean a grandmother, the same way that Ethel does now, but although Sarah or Elizabeth are quite popular right now, I doubt they’ll ever have strong generational associations that way, because they’ve never had that trendy-name spiking pattern.
One of my grandmothers is named Frieda, so I very much think of that as a granny name. On the opposite side, one of my grandfathers sometimes went by Meyer. (He used a bunch of different names.) He had kind of an abstract resemblance to Rodney Dangerfield, so there’s just no way I’ll ever think of that as an attractive name.
Those really tough Germanic or Scandanavian names are just not sexy in general. Ilsa, Hildegaard, Heidi… the list goes on. Elsewhere in Europe, Vladimir can be a cool name, and a very tough one, but it doesn’t say “physical beauty” to me.
Jessica sounds more “legitimate” to me, like a ripple of the late 1960s-late 1970s Jennifer fad. The rest sound like strippers. I could deal with a lawyer or doctor named Jessica, but having Tawny or Misty represent me before the judge, though … nope.
When I lived in New Mexico, old lady-style names were quite common among Hispanic women born in the Borderlands area. There were plenty of young Agneses, Esters and the like. One of the hottest women I knew was named Hortense.
Anyone say Doris or Millicent yet?
One thing about most old-lady names is that so many sound hard and harsh compared to more contemporary (if cliche or overused) female names. They’re just not pretty words, which is why I don’t really see a revival of them. Compare Agnes and Gertrude, which are solidly old-lady, to revivals of Emily and Hannah, or even Madison and Ashley.
Obviously, at one point people found them pretty. They just don’t resonate with the modern ear. The baby name wizard blog has pointed out that currently, there’s a huge vogue for many vowels, without consonant clusters, especially for girls’ names. Fifty years from now, that ‘eu’ sound we all think is incredibly icky (Eustace, Eula, Eunice, etc.) might be wildly trendy. You can’t predict these things.
It’s not what the OP asked about, but certain “old” names really turn my crank for some reason when they’re attached to a younger woman.
So for all those Annes, Margies, Esters, Lilliths, Agneses, Ethels, Janes, Ingrids, Dorises, Millies, and Sheilas: If you’re really a 7, I probably think you’re a 9.
Also, any women named after flowers (Rose, Violet) or Christian virtues (Hope, Charity, Grace.) If there are any Chastitys out there in SDMB-land, PM me your number.
One of my grandmothers had the first name Stella, so that’s always seemed like a name that goes with an elderly woman. But now the name’s popping up again; IIRC some film actress recently named a daughter Stella, and of course, there’s Stella McCartney.
I agree with people’s impressions about Ethel. I had a great aunt by that name, born around 1885 in Utah Territory. She seemed a rather forbidding old lady, although I never really did get to know her because I was only five when she died. Many years later I came across a picture of her at age 18 or so, and thought “wow”! She was a looker in her day. According to family legend, she and my grandmother, and another sister or two were the Belles of SLC circa 1905, and that they were usually hit on by guys after church on Sunday.
Hey, my middle name is Layne! It’s a perfectly fine middle name, although it obviously makes more sense if your family has been spelling it that way all along.
Layne is just fine, but Maddie Layne to honor a Mattie and a Lane, together sounding like some weird version of Madeleine is pretty lame (in my opinion). If it’s going to sound like Madeleine, I wish they had just named her Madeleine (which I think is beautiful) and called her Maddie. Although again, the baby is very very adorable.
Male:
Adelbert
Ambrose
Archy
Arliss
Anselm
Durward or Durwood
Garland
Herkimer
Holden
Hubert
Hagbard
Hudson
Humphrey
Mortimer
Morris
Norbert
Oswald
Oscar
Quincy
Jasper
Melvin
Mervin
Female
Ardath
Asenath
Bernice
Clarice
Dolly
Hulda or Hulga
Irmintrude
Lorna
Mildred
Myrna
Wilma
Wilhelmina