# What, for you, were the most unexpected things about aging? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 10, 2020, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620 "2020-10-10T08:12:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/183 "2020-11-19T00:04:19Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I forgot how far away 40 seems when you are under 40. Almost as far as it seems when you are over 40. When I was in my 20s I thought 40 was incredibly old. Now that I am 40, my 20-something year old coworkers seem incredibly young. But at the same time my 50 and 60-something year old coworkers still consider me young, and sometimes lump me in with the 20-somethings. ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/184 "2020-11-19T00:07:42Z")
I don’t know if young people can have this feeling. You’re old when a dearly beloved relative dies, for whom you say the rosary, or even a novena, and over a period of months or years it changes from ‘get well’, to ‘get better’ , to ‘don’t die yet’, to “have a good death”, to “Thank God.” I’ve seen this with so many adults (including one man who after several years of lovingly caring for his father told him frankly: “I can’t care for you anymore Dad, you need to go into hospice.” ) It’s an acceptance of death is waiting in the wings. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/185 "2020-11-19T00:34:14Z")
Anyone else losing their ability to spell? I’m not even that old (37) but even when I spell many words correctly, they no longer look right to me. I honest to Og had to look up how to spell “school” the other day. I had it spelled correctly, but it didn’t look right. I’m not sure if it’s from aging or a medication side-effect. ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/186 "2020-11-19T00:40:30Z")
Or possibly losing our implicit spelling ability because of auto-prediction and auto-spell on cell phones, computers, etc? We’re losing spelling muscle tone because we’re doing that much less spelling heavy lifting reps the last decade or so. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/187 "2020-11-19T00:41:11Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Talking fireplace, full kitchen and a balcony off the living room. O.k. I read this and thought “what does the fireplace say?” Are these kinds of confusion part of the aging process??? My spelling is still o.k. but I’m getting bad on names when I used to be so good at that. They eventually come to mind, but it’s sometimes hours later or the next day. Couldn’t remember Barbara Stanwyck’s name the other day, and I was trying to think of movies she’d been in, but couldn’t remember the names of THEM. My dad died of lung cancer (and related issues) when he was 59. My mom died at 84, just a year after she moved into an assisted living place. She had a fall in the night that caused a brain bleed. She got to the hospital quickly and the surgery was “successful,” but she never recovered consciousness for a couple of months. That post-surgery period made me appreciate her not lingering longer (nor my dad for that matter). ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/188 "2020-11-19T00:42:02Z")
That’s a really good theory. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/189 "2020-11-19T00:43:20Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > My spelling is still o.k. but I’m getting bad on names when I used to be so good at that. They eventually come to mind, but it’s sometimes hours later or the next day. Couldn’t remember Barbara Stanwyck’s name the other day, and I was trying to think of movies she’d been in, but couldn’t remember the names of THEM. I also have this problem. It just took me two minutes to remember the name of my cell phone carrier. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/190 "2020-11-19T00:58:19Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I’m not sure if it’s from aging or a medication side-effect. The suggestion I’d like to believe, is that it’s a side effect of knowing too much: the brain takes longer to find things because there is so much to evaluate. I’m not making that up, it is a legitimate theory about why thinking slows down. Since nobody understands the brain well enough to know the real reason, it may even be true. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/191 "2020-11-19T01:26:39Z")
When you’re young, and (say) your arm hurts, you go to the doctor, and the doctor says “Your arm hurts? Oh my goodness, we’ll do some tests, maybe give you a shot or some pills, we’ll get to the bottom of this.” When you’re old and your arm hurts, you go to the doctor, and the doctor says “Yeah, well, they’ll do that.” ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/192 "2020-11-19T01:41:05Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Anyone else losing their ability to spell? Yep… It’s kind of minor, so far, but it is definite and distinct. And odd! ---
**Author:** ![Lavender\_Pebble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lavender_pebble/32/6290_2.png) [@Lavender\_Pebble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lavender_Pebble)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/193 "2020-11-19T14:24:52Z")
I am also losing my ability to recall words and spelling, and I’m only 36. It’s almost enough to make me go down the hole of “can I find a magic supplement pill that will fix this?” I think a big part of it is that I used to have a job with a lot of copy-editing in it, and now I don’t. It’s pretty astonishing how fast you lose a skill once you don’t practice it regularly. I bought a vocab book just for fun to try to get them back in my head, but I found I don’t have the patience to practice spelling when I already “know” the words. I definitely feel like time passes much quicker these days. That’s something I heard often as a young person but didn’t register what it really meant until now. Covid has basically made 2020 non-existent to me. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/194 "2020-11-19T14:39:49Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > JFTR … I knew what you did 😉 > [@QuickSilver](#): > > That’s because you’re probably as old as I am. I only knew it because I had had to look it up when I saw it referenced on The Simpsons. And the first reference on The Simpsons is now a _lot_ older than his schtick was when the Simpsons episode first aired! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/195 "2020-11-19T17:17:05Z")
> [@Lavender\_Pebble](#): > > I definitely feel like time passes much quicker these days. That’s something I heard often as a young person but didn’t register what it really meant until now. Covid has basically made 2020 non-existent to me. Wait till you’re in your 70s. The hours, days, months, years… they all just whiz by. Remember how long summers were when you were a kid? Now the seasons just fly by, one into the other. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/196 "2020-11-19T17:40:14Z")
The shortening of time is one of the most horrific side effects of aging. When you’re midde-aged, you definitely subjectively don’t have one half of your life ahead of you. I’m only 43, but I’ve already experienced time shortening by about one half, ie. I feel something happened a year ago, when it was actually two years ago, on a near-consistent basis. Then the 70-80 year-olds tell how seasons are like weeks. Add to this the gradual losing of energy, strength, faculties, stamina etc. discussed in this thread, too, and things look grim indeed. The lesson here is to do everything you ever planned doing, right now. Talk about mid-life crisis. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/197 "2020-11-19T18:33:03Z")
I’ve long theorized (without evidence, of course 😁) that we perceive time based on percentage of life. So by the time we graduate High School, those four years have taken up nearly a quarter of our lives. That seems like a very long time. But at 80, four years is a mere 5% of our life, which is why it seems to pass so much more quickly. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/198 "2020-11-19T21:12:19Z")
> [@robby](#): > > > [@Tamerlane](#): > > > > I remember as a teen and even into my early twenties thinking about the Year 2000 and how unimaginably old I would be by then. You know - 32 😉 > > I remember sitting in class in 6th grade when I was 11 years old, making the same calculation, and getting the same result as you. At the time, it seemed impossibly far away, and I would be unbelievably old. Hah! Not only me! I remember, at some point in my childhood, carefully working out whether I’d even have any chance of still being alive in 2000. (In 2000 I turned 49.) – it was a real shock to me to find myself standing in a supermarket line saying 'Kids these days don’t . . . ’ And then even in my shock I _finished the sentence_. (I no longer remember what it was about. That was years ago.) I was also taken aback to need multifocals years sooner than I thought I would; and to have the eye doctor say, ‘yes, people often start having problems with that in their 40’s.’ However, I’m much more cheerful than I was in my teens or twenties. Like a whole lot of other people, I’d like to have the body I had at say 25 and the mind I’ve got now – though I do wonder how much the mental changes are experience and how much they’re due to the body changes. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2020, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/199 "2020-11-19T21:28:25Z")
Don’t know if this is a sign of aging per se, although it may be related to starting to question my memory. I find myself, several times per day, telling myself what I’m going to be doing the next day (EZ-Rider will be picking me up to go grocery shopping at 9am, reheat leftover for lunch, sandwich at dinnertime, online meeting in the evening). It’s as if I need to confirm that I won’t forget things I plan to do. Note that some of the things I remind myself about are written on a wall calendar, so it’s not like I’m totally dependent on my memory to be sure I do them. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/200 "2020-11-20T10:58:05Z")
> [@Toxylon](#): > > Then the 70-80 year-olds tell how seasons are like weeks. They sure do. The seasons go by so quickly that I have to look outside to see what “now” looks like. I have several wall calendars up, and it seems like I have to change them every other day. And as **Wheelz** said, we perceive time based on percentage of life. To a 10yo, a year is 10% of a lifetime. To me, in my 70s, a year is only 1.4% of a lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/201 "2020-11-20T13:19:51Z")
> [@Toxylon](#): > > I feel something happened a year ago, when it was actually two years ago, on a near-consistent basis. Old enough to remember the funny news story about the [Exploding Whale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_whale) in Oregon? It happened 50 years ago this month. I would’ve guessed 10 years ago, max. ---
**Author:** ![Toxylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@Toxylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxylon)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2020, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620/202 "2020-11-20T15:08:53Z")
Snark-o-meter moving some? At any rate, I’m talking about stuff that happened in my personal sphere in the last 10 years or so, when I’m talking about the apparent shrinkage of time. I have thought about the percentage of life angle, but it doesn’t explain all. It is general knowledge that to children, a summer is an eon, while to a pensioner it is a small fraction of one’s life. In the middle there’s adulthood, where, from, say 27 to 42, time seems to speed up dramatically. I find these days I have to keep on my toes to not miss seasonal things due to this. And it’s not because I have so much more on my plate than I used to have, since I don’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-for-you-were-the-most-unexpected-things-about-aging/922620.md?page=11)