# What Fun is a Newbie Then? (or... The value of newbies)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 21, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306 "2001-08-21T05:37:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/1 "2001-08-21T05:37:48Z")
I have reached the conclusion that newbies have a positive function at these boards (not that I was ever one myself, no siree!).
Aside from the occasionally spectacular self-immolation, they can also resurrect some of your favorite old threads without nary a blush at reviving such a moldering zombie. My “Strange Things You Say Involving Your Pet’s Name” thread over in MPSIMS is enjoying another go 'round just as my “Favorite Mel Blanc Quotes” did recently. For this, I give them my collective thanks.
What other utile purposes do these greenhorns serve?
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### Author:  [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/2 "2001-08-21T05:52:50Z")
Zenster, your “Strange Things You Say Involving Your Pet’s Name” thread made Threadspotting. I didn’t add to the thread, you people would think I’m nuts. And now, with my 500th post, (I think) I no longer consider myself a newbie!
😃
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/3 "2001-08-21T06:01:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Boscibo \*
> \*\*Zenster, your “Strange Things You Say Involving Your Pet’s Name” thread made Threadspotting…😃 \*\*
Gone for two weeks and I had to miss this? Thanks for the heads-up **Bosco** (may I call you **Bosco**?).
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/4 "2001-08-21T06:03:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Boscibo \*
> **…you people would think I’m nuts…**
A little too late for that, don’t you think?
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### Author:  [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/5 "2001-08-21T06:03:59Z")
I’ve gotten several of them to come clean my house and run races with their jeans around their ankles. Oh, and Hell Week at the SDMB is the best! Who’s going to be Hell Master this year?
Newbies beware. I suggest you start practicing pushups right now. The clapping kind. One handed. On your knuckles.
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### Author:  [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/6 "2001-08-21T07:02:02Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \*
> **…Who’s going to be Hell Master this year?..**
I nominate **Obsfucaitrist**. He’ll be around shortly to remind us all yet another time of people pushing straws up my nose anyway. Isn’t he this board’s resident Hell Master as it stands? Or does he just think that he is?
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### Author:  [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/7 "2001-08-21T13:14:19Z")
A little known fact is that newbies actually inhale carbon dioxide and exhale oxygen. This happens until about 250 posts. So we also recycle the air around here!
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### Author:  [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/8 "2001-08-21T13:34:03Z")
IN with the BAD AIR out with the GOOD.
Also, we laugh at all your tired old jokes, just s if they were new. 😉
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### Author:  [@Netbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Netbrian)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/9 "2001-08-21T14:56:05Z")
We can, um…
RAISE PEOPLES’ SELF-ESTEEM!!!
Yeah! That’s it!
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### Author:  [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/10 "2001-08-21T17:22:51Z")
We call guys she/her and gals he/him.
We ask a lot of dead-horse questions about soda carbonation, vB code, -gry words, felch and squick, etc.
We knuckle under to anybody with a larger postcount.
Face it, we crack you up.
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### Author:  [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/11 "2001-08-21T17:55:28Z")
When we inform them and make them non-newbies they can bring some interesting point of views from the world that us net addict ppl don’t notice. Besides that, they’re just here so we have something to flame. A little comic relief.
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### Author:  [@Insert\_Name\_Here](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Insert_Name_Here)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/12 "2001-08-21T20:10:42Z")
…you find our total lack of netiquette, poor spelling and suspect grammer strangely endearing.
Also, I’m quite good at carrying heavy objects, if that’s any use.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/13 "2001-08-21T20:32:50Z")
How many posts does a person have before they’re not a newbie anymore?
I assume its more than 343, otherwise I wouldn’t have to ask the question, but anyhow…
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### Author:  [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/14 "2001-08-21T21:10:58Z")
If you have to ask how many posts, then you are still a newbie. Why? Because it still shows a lack of self-confidence on the boards. When a person can say I am not a newbie any more, without looking at his post count, then he’s in.
What fun is a newbie/value of newbie? Well they keep the sex questions going, even though we have all answered them a hundred times. They feed the trolls and the rest of us get to fuss at them. They tell us all about their personal lives until they begin to realize that people are actually reading their posts. I could think of a hundred more things but that’s enough for now. Newbies…gotta love 'em.
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### Author:  [@dalovindj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalovindj)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/15 "2001-08-21T21:32:45Z")
We like to rhyme.
We like our beats funky.
We’re spunky.
We evolved from a monkey.
DaLovin’Dj
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/16 "2001-08-21T21:50:54Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ultress \*
> \*\*If you have to ask how many posts, then you are still a newbie. \*\*
I think I just said that…
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### Author:  [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/17 "2001-08-22T04:08:04Z")
We’re good for traction, baby, traction!
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/18 "2001-08-22T04:44:24Z")
Cruchy on the outside
Chewy on the inside
[bitter childhood memory rears it’s ugly head]
Also they tend to make me to be the penultimate person picked to be on the team instead of the last.
[/bcmriuh]
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### Author:  [@TheNewbie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNewbie)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/19 "2001-08-22T04:59:25Z")
I would have to say newbies are a great addition to the SDMB, the more the merrier!
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### Author:  [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-fun-is-a-newbie-then-or-the-value-of-newbies/77306/20 "2001-08-22T05:10:44Z")
Newbies post to threads with the word “newbie” in them, hereby raising the number of posts in a newbie thread in order to make the original poster happy.
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