# What gender do you hang out with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 13, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801 "2002-06-13T05:42:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/21 "2002-06-14T05:21:28Z")
I’m female and most of my friends are female, and I really have a great time hanging out with them, but I really like hanging out with fellas too. I don’t know why I don’t have more male friends. Guys are fun to hang out with, especially when they just relax, be themselves, be crude, and rude, and quit acting scared of me or acting like they have to compete with me and win at everything. [sigh] ---
**Author:** ![Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/22 "2002-06-14T08:15:58Z")
Most of my friends are female (as am I). One of my best friends right now, though, is a guy–we’ve gone out, though, so it’s not totally just a friend thing. I find that I am quite comfortable around guys in a professional or school setting–bosses, teachers, etc., but that for peers I gravitate more towards girls, and am more hesitant around guys. I do realize that they are just people, too, but I forget that sometimes I guess. It’s fun getting the perspective of the opposite gender, at any rate. I like the friends my brothers pick, (usually)–they are great fellas with really cool senses of humour, and sweet to people too. Online, strangely, I am at least as comfortable with guys as with girls, if not more so–for one thing, I can flirt at arm’s length with a guy occasionally, but sometimes think girls will want to compete with me. Generally I’d say I need more friends of both genders. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/23 "2002-06-14T14:03:04Z")
I have lots of female friends and guy friends. With my female friends, I’ve found that they’re better to talk to alot of times, and they’re great when I just feel like doing girl stuff. My guy friends, however, can also be great. When I’m in a bad mood and just wanna relieve that, I can go over to one of their house’s and just blow something up (note-no property damage, we just blow up a water bottle). They’re also great to talk to if you want a guy’s opinion. However, with my female friends I don’t have to worry as much about how I act. I have to be careful around my guy friends not to lead them on if I’m not interested, and just hanging out sometimes gives the wrong impression. Within the last two weeks, I’ve had one of my guy friends confess feelings for me, one ask me out, and I made out with one. So in conclusion, female friends are safer, but guy friends can sometimes be a little more fun. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/24 "2002-06-14T14:26:15Z")
I enjoy the company of men, unless they’re into macho posturing - sports talk and hard drinking don’t impress me. I enjoy being around women as long as they’re not too girlie - conversations about fashion and cosmetics and shoes are deadly dull. Upon reflection, I think I like being around people my own age most of all, although so many of us now expound on our aches and meds and surgeries… Heck, as long as you’re not being a jerk, I’ll hang out with you. Bring chocolates, and you’ll be my bestest friend!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![trixiebix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@trixiebix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trixiebix)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/25 "2002-06-14T14:37:56Z")
I’m female, and I have always gotten along better with guys. I just feel more comfortable with them. I don’t feel the rivalry or the bitterness as I do with females. I’ve just had bad experiences with female friends. I just don’t trust women. They turn on you in a second. Male friends (for the most part) are more loyal… like dogs. hehe kidding, don’t hurt me! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b782af/32.png) [@The\_Wrong\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Wrong_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/26 "2002-06-14T15:46:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manda JO \* > \*\* > > Standard disclaimer for threads like this: check your statements for how t hey would sound if they were made about any other group: > if someone said "as I can remember most of my friends have been **white**. I’m so much more comfortable around them. No pettiness, " we’d all be appalled. > > \*\* I’d just like this to appear again. It’s really frustrating to see threads like these (which initially start out with a valid question) disintegrate into stereotypes. I love seeing **Manda JO** swoop in with her warning, and most of the time, she’s the first one to bring this up. Women aren’t all the same, and it makes me sad to think that some people have the conception that we are. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/27 "2002-06-14T18:31:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*Heck, as long as you’re not being a jerk, I’ll hang out with you. Bring chocolates, and you’ll be my bestest friend!! > > 😃 \*\* Will homemade, real-custard-filled cream puffs do? I’m not all that big on chocolate… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by trixiebix_ > **I’m female, and I have always gotten along better with guys. I just feel more comfortable with them. I don’t feel the rivalry or the bitterness as I do with females. I’ve just had bad experiences with female friends. I just don’t trust women. They turn on you in a second. Male friends (for the most part) are more loyal… like dogs. hehe kidding, don’t hurt me!** You’ve just summed up my feelings in a nutshell! My experience is that women can be very vicious and that they have the tendency to pick one woman in the group and single her out to be the “outcast.” Guys seem to be a lot more tolerant and direct. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/28 "2002-06-14T19:05:25Z")
I used to hang out almost exclusively with women; lately, though, I’ve noticed that most of my friends are men. The reason? I play Dungeons and Dragons. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not one of those never-bathing guys who hang out at the I Have No Girlfriend Store glancing surreptitiously and longingly at the posters of almost-nekkid superheroines. I have three different women who rotate in and out of my gaming groups. But most of the gamers I know are men, and since I hang out with them once or twice a week, they form the bulk of my social circle. And I’m not stereotyping guys here, only describing how _I_ am. When I’m around guys, I _do_ feel more competitive: I want to know answers to questions before they do, I want to think up the perfect snappy line before they do, I don’t want to complain very much. When I’m around women, I want to be sensitive: I ask about how their day was, I listen, I talk about deep issues. I don’t know why I am that way. It’s a little sad, inasmuch as I don’t know what’s going on in my guy friends’ lives a lot of the time. But it’s not a huge deal. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/29 "2002-06-14T20:50:40Z")
Gotta admit, I prefer to hang out with women; I seem to have less superficial and more interesting conversations with women. Plus, I find many of them to be, er, you know, _pretty_. > [@](#): > > I’m not interested in being some kind of big brother best friend type for a gaggle of girls. That’s OK, I’m up to the task… ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/30 "2002-06-14T22:46:05Z")
I pretty much just want to ‘me too’ what **FairyChatMom** said. Growing up, I had brothers and all their friends. (Although I must admit that I liked saturday nights, when my mom put my hair in soft curlers to sleep and wearing a dress to church the next morning.) I wasn’t quite the tom boy anymore, but as a teenager it was my best girlfriend and four guys. Now all my of my top five favorite people four are male. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2002, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/31 "2002-06-14T22:47:16Z")
:o I obviously can’t code correctly. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/32 "2002-06-15T02:56:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Squish \* > \*\*Will homemade, real-custard-filled cream puffs do? I’m not all that big on chocolate… > \*\* But the chocolate’s not for you, it’s for _me_!! You know, a token of esteem and affection and admiration and bribery… 😛 Then again, custard-filled cream puffs can be socially redeeming too… ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/33 "2002-06-15T03:03:06Z")
When I do, which is rare, it is with women exclusively. ---
**Author:** ![Squish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Squish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squish)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/34 "2002-06-15T03:35:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*But the chocolate’s not for you, it’s for _me_!! You know, a token of esteem and affection and admiration and bribery… 😛 > \*\* Typical \*woman[i/]! 😛 Besides, if I give you all the chocolate, how’m I going to bribe my boyfriend into having more sex?! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/35 "2002-06-15T03:49:19Z")
I’m a woman who gets along all right with both genders but has more female friends than male ones. And I prefer the women’s company much of the time. This discussion makes me think of a female friend, whom I’ll call Z, who claims she gets along better with men than with women; then lets her male friends dump all over her, manipulate her, demand her attention, pressure her, etc. She also winds up smoothing things over whenever there’s a rift because she wants to “keep peace in the family.” She’ll drop everything to accommodate them. Her female friend “K” and I never treat her like that, but we always wind up playing second banana to the males in her life, and she can hardly ever make time for us. ``` Sorry for the partial hijack, but I've just never understood what's at the bottom of all this. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/36 "2002-06-15T04:56:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Manda JO \* > \*\* if someone said "as I can remember most of my friends have been **white**. I’m so much more comfortable around them. No pettiness, " we’d all be appalled. \*\* Thanks for completely wrecking this thread for me, **Manda JO**. You’ve managed to equate gender company preferences with blatant racism. I wouldn’t post an answer now if you had a gun pointed at me. Nice job. ☹ Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/37 "2002-06-15T06:41:01Z")
Although I have some fabulous long-term male friends who I cherish wholeheartedly, I don’t see them very often. So if the question is asking which gender I hang out with more, then I must admit the answer is women. I suppose it could be because my profession is mostly female, but it’s certainly not because I find men rude, ignorant, sex-obsessed, blah blah blah. It just is what it is. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/38 "2002-06-15T11:51:21Z")
No, **Cartooniverse** , I have equated **gender stereotypes** with **racial stereotypes**. There is a world of difference between saying "Most of my friends are males. " and “Most of my friends are males because women are petty, untrustworthy, and bitter,” ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/39 "2002-06-15T13:07:48Z")
The only person I “hang out with” is my wife. > [@](#): > > What about you? Given the choice, would you prefer to hang out with a group of guys, girls, or a mix? Actually, I don’t like social situations much and would prefer to be alone. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2002, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801/40 "2002-06-15T15:07:14Z")
Almost all women. This September will be 22 years of friendship with a woman I met in college. My best friend is a woman. I’ve always been that way, the great majority of the friendships I have had have been with men. I’ve found women ( and, not to mis-use the word ) and girls before them, to be generally easier to develop friendship connections with because IMHO, they are more open to allowing their feelings to enter into a discussion. I also really really really really like women. It’s not a cut and dried thing, I recently sort of ambled into a friendship with a man whose worldview is very much unlike mine in many ways. He loves to shoot guns. ( I detest guns in all forms ). He is retired Army. ( I’m a devout Pacifist ). He loves to work on cars. ( I don’t know or care about being a weekend mechanic ). And yet, we enjoy each other’s company-with or without our families- so immensely that it’s clear to me that it has the potential to be a wonderful friendship. I see the potential because in the ways that are profoundly important to me, we see life through the same set of filters. Devoutly dedicated to our kids. Support of local community and school. Great sense of humor. Etc… Oh, and **Manda JO** , if you would be so kind as to go and visit this [Pit Thread Made Just For You](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=120597), we can continue our sidebar discussion… Cartooniverse [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-gender-do-you-hang-out-with/113801.md?page=3)