# What goes best on saltines? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** food-cooking\ **Created:** [March 22, 2021, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446 "2021-03-22T17:58:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jungian\_Camisole1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jungian_camisole1/32/3646_2.png) [@Jungian\_Camisole1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jungian_Camisole1)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/41 "2021-03-23T00:10:02Z")
Grape jelly when I was younger; now it’s peanut butter, Nutella, or both at the same time. Super tasty little treat! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/42 "2021-03-23T00:32:14Z")
Absolute best: Saltines heaped with tuna (or salmon) salad, plus a garlic(or dill) pickle spear. 🥰 ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/43 "2021-03-23T00:45:04Z")
My go-to saltine snack “sandwich” has a slice of salami and provolone. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/44 "2021-03-23T00:54:36Z")
On Saltines, plain old butter has been my choice for 70 years. Lots of alternatives (cheese, deviled ham, lunch meat, avocado, et.al.) but my go-to is butter. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/45 "2021-03-23T01:56:54Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > What is your favorite cracker toppings? Someone mentioned it above – it’s anchovies. Not sardines, anchovies. Right out of the can. Nothing else. Delicious. Salty goodness. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/46 "2021-03-23T02:41:05Z")
This thread is inspiring me. You know what would be good? Olives stuffed with anchovies. Sounds like a lot of work, though. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/47 "2021-03-23T02:43:38Z")
You can buy them canned. Also stuffed with shrimp, salmon, and other such goodies. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/48 "2021-03-23T03:02:03Z")
Answer for the OP: Everything! Well, almost. I used to buy various sorts of fancy crackers – English and Australian water crackers, fancy “thins” of various kinds, etc. But despite being sometimes accused of being a food snob, I’ve settled on plain old soda crackers (aka “saltines”) for basically everything that you might want to put on a cracker. For my taste, it’s mostly cheeses and paté. I insist on toasted baguette or ciabatta for smoked salmon, but otherwise a soda cracker is the universal base for practically any interesting hors d’oeuvre. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/49 "2021-03-23T03:24:25Z")
Another hand raised for (real) butter, but peanut butter is best. I used to grab a sleeve of saltines and a jar of peanut butter, and just use the crackers to scoop up the peanut butter. I’d go through half the sleeve in one sitting. Milk is necessary of course - which reminds me, I’d also dip saltines into milk, and eat them that way. …great, now I’m craving saltines. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/50 "2021-03-23T08:23:36Z")
Chicken soup ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/51 "2021-03-23T09:40:07Z")
Plain or with soup. For whatever reason I crave a sleeve every once in awhile. It’s pretty much worthless nutrition-wise but about a quarter and not too harmful on my digestion. When I was a kid I loved that fake canned cheese stuff. Pretty much anything mentioned here that could be put on a saltine I’d rather put on a sandwich or a bagel or muffin or something, and I rarely feel like that. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/52 "2021-03-23T11:29:47Z")
I used to make firecrackers using saltines. Apply peanut butter or Nutella to one saltine, sprinkle cannabis on top, then a second saltine. Wrap in aluminum foil and cook in toaster oven for 30 minutes. Tastes _horrible_ , but quick and easy edible weed. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/53 "2021-03-23T11:31:21Z")
I had come into this thread with a mind to marvel at everybody’s hillbilly cuisine. Then I remember there is one and only one way I eat raw oysters, and it’s all about the saltine. Ingredients: 1 saltine 1 premium oyster 1 tsp grated horseradish 1 tsp cocktail sauce 1 splash of fresh-squeezed lemon juice (optional) Put the oyster on the saltine and everything else on the oyster. Repeat until oysters are gone. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/54 "2021-03-23T12:25:03Z")
Brie + anchovy on saltine x 6. Microwave 10 seconds till gooey. Better on a Triscuit (because the cheese melts into the wheat matrix), but desperate times call for desperate measures. ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/55 "2021-03-23T12:37:03Z")
Liverwurst has absolutely no place on anything edible. It is the Worse! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/56 "2021-03-23T12:45:01Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > Olives stuffed with anchovies. > [@terentii](#): > > You can buy them canned. Also stuffed with shrimp, salmon, and other such goodies. Olives stuffed with jalapenos are really good. Crushed saltines make a great crumb crust for a very sweet pie. A woman where I worked for a few years used to make a butter-pecan ice cream pie with a crushed-saltine crust. Of course, now everyone has figured out the salted-caramel/salted-chocolate combo. ---
**Author:** ![Guy\_Incognito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guy_incognito/32/3920_2.png) [@Guy\_Incognito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guy_Incognito)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/57 "2021-03-23T12:54:07Z")
What about its smoky cousin, braunschweiger? We like making a simple braunschweiger spread and smearing that on crackers or thin-sliced rye bread. When we feel a little fancy, we buy Kroger’s Private Selection rosemary crackers to jazz things up. (Note to self: make some braunschweiger spread later this week.) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/58 "2021-03-23T13:17:59Z")
> [@Guy\_Incognito](#): > > What about its smoky cousin, braunschweiger? For my purposes, I am considering (American) braunschweiger a type of liverwurst (which it is, as it is a liver sausage. Honestly, I don’t notice the smokiness, though I know it’s supposed to be there, but Oscar Meyer and Aldi brands are the ones I typically buy) I’ll also include liver-based pates, terrines, and the such – they’re all delicious on a saltine. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/59 "2021-03-23T14:12:08Z")
[/quote] Are there people who put butter on saltines? That sounds weird. I’ve had peanut butter, or hard cheese or even the spray cheese on them. [/quote] I love butter on saltines! I also like to butter them before I dunk them in my soup. Peanut butter is very good on saltines and so is plain old American cheese. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2021, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446/60 "2021-03-23T14:34:00Z")
> [@TRC4941](#): > > I love butter on saltines! I also like to butter them before I dunk them in my soup. When I heat up a can of chicken soup nowadays, I always add a big gob of butter, a teaspoon of paprika, and a dollop of sour cream before I put in some crushed saltines. I normally go through at least 1/3 of the waxed paper packet per bowl (and I have mighty big bowls 🙂 ). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-best-on-saltines/938446.md?page=4)