# What goes on inside a gay bathhouse? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 24, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555 "2004-11-24T23:44:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/21 "2004-11-25T01:51:07Z")
The first time I heard of such establishments was when a Canadian (as it happens) friend came to my house for lunch. I was about 17 and still living at home, she was visiting her sister for the summer. My parents engaged her in tedious polite conversation, as is customary in these circumstances: “And what do your parents do?” Her reply was that her father owned a bathhouse. “And what might that be?” so she explained, more or less as per the OP’s definition above. The image of my mother’s jaw dropping is etched in my memory forever more. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/22 "2004-11-25T02:00:53Z")
There’s a place not far from where I live that is essentially a series of private rooms with hot tubs, padded ledges the size of a twin bed, a separate shower/toilet/sink area, and also a separate small sauna. You make a reservation, pay an hourly fee, and do whatever you want. Most people do. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/23 "2004-11-25T02:12:28Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > You mean like a bath house where heterosexual men sit around nude with other heterosexual men and then there are rooms where they can go off and have sex with each other? > > I am not sure, but I don’t think so. I’m in a really bad mood this evening and should probably be confined to the Pit for the duration, but I’d like to mention that I enjoyed this post very much. ---
**Author:** ![PaulFitzroy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/2acd7d/32.png) [@PaulFitzroy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulFitzroy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/24 "2004-11-25T02:24:39Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve been, once or twice, to a classy establishment downtown called the 456 (one of my friends works there). > > Upon entry, you may choose either a room or a locker. You are then issued a towel and some condoms. You go in and disrobe. At the 456, the lower floor is, indeed, a bathhouse: there is a large swimming pool, hot tub, showers, and a sauna. There is also a sort of drawing room with a TV and an Internet terminal, and a bar where health foods and light snacks are served. (In the basement is a gym; the place doubles as a health club.) > > The second floor has many tiny rooms, as well as a porno theatre; upstairs has larger rooms and glory holes, in a “jailhouse” theme. > > Officially the management frowns on actual screwing in the public areas, however the rule is sparsely enforced upstairs, and there is usually something going on in the porno theatre. I would say most of the people who go there, go there to meet people; some go with their dates, with or without the intention of supplementing their couple with another fellow or two. Condoms and lube are freely available; drugs are prohibited, and I don’t recall seeing anyone visibly sloshed. This is the kinda thing that makes me wish I was gay. It would be so awesome if there was something like that for straight people. Dammit, why isn’t there?! It sounds like such a kickass place. It wouldn’t even need to be for straights or gays only. There ought to be a place like that where men and women of all orientatians can go for no-strings-attatched hookups. Fuck this whole thing of needing to go to parties and bars to talk your way into a girl’s pants. Why can’t there just be something like a gay bathhouse that just drops all the pretense and bullshit, and the people there would understand that they’re only there to get laid, plain and simple. If someone isn’t attracted to someone else, he/she could just say, no thanks, and move on. Dammit! ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/25 "2004-11-25T02:48:30Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > This is the kinda thing that makes me wish I was gay. It would be so awesome if there was something like that for straight people. Dammit, why isn’t there?! It sounds like such a kickass place. > > It wouldn’t even need to be for straights or gays only. There ought to be a place like that where men and women of all orientatians can go for no-strings-attatched hookups. Fuck this whole thing of needing to go to parties and bars to talk your way into a girl’s pants. Why can’t there just be something like a gay bathhouse that just drops all the pretense and bullshit, and the people there would understand that they’re only there to get laid, plain and simple. If someone isn’t attracted to someone else, he/she could just say, no thanks, and move on. Dammit! Just not fabulous enough, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/26 "2004-11-25T02:52:43Z")
Read Armistead Maupin’s “Tales of the City.” Lots of fun vignettes of San Francisco in the late 70’s. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/27 "2004-11-25T02:54:26Z")
PFR, There are plenty of such places, at least outside of the Bible Belt where you and I presently reside . The problem isn’t the place, it’s the clientele. 95% male, and the rest looking to be paid for their time. What you (and I) want is for women to adopt the classic gay male attitude: sex is like tennis, just a fun thing to do with balls for a 20 minutes and nothing more than that. Until the ladies get a major rewiring of their brains and/or hormones I guess we’ll be stuck with the status quo. OTOH, it could be worse … ---
**Author:** ![Tio\_Gringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Tio\_Gringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tio_Gringo)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/28 "2004-11-25T03:06:48Z")
There’s a place across the street from the local airport called the Blue Sky Bathhouse. I always wonder what _exactly_ goes on in that place, but I’m too much of wiener to go in and find out. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/29 "2004-11-25T03:11:30Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > It would be so awesome if there was something like that for straight people. Dammit, why isn’t there?! It sounds like such a kickass place. > > It wouldn’t even need to be for straights or gays only. There ought to be a place like that where men and women of all orientatians can go for no-strings-attatched hookups. Why can’t there just be something like a gay bathhouse that just drops all the pretense and bullshit, and the people there would understand that they’re only there to get laid, plain and simple. If someone isn’t attracted to someone else, he/she could just say, no thanks, and move on. Dammit! There are, Paul, there are. They’re called ‘social clubs’ and adverstise discretely, if at all, because they are usually on the limen of the law, unfortunately. My information is second hand, but they sound about like described above, Hot tubs, lounge areas, Public, semi private and private areas to mingle and interact in any mutually acceptable way, clothing optional. IIIC (If I infer correctly) It’s mostly couples who go, looking to swing, or indulge their exhibitionism. Single cruising men will, just as in real life, outnumber single cruising women. Running about, sniffing crotches asking everything in sight ‘wanna do me?’ would get you about as far as it would at a singles bar. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/30 "2004-11-25T03:28:40Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > There ought to be a place like that where men and women of all orientatians can go for no-strings-attatched hookups. Fuck this whole thing of needing to go to parties and bars to talk your way into a girl’s pants. Why can’t there just be something like a gay bathhouse that just drops all the pretense and bullshit, and the people there would understand that they’re only there to get laid, plain and simple. If someone isn’t attracted to someone else, he/she could just say, no thanks, and move on. Dammit! Yep, all it would take would be a complete change in the sexual psychology of humankind and it’d really take off. It’s gonna happen, any second now. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/31 "2004-11-25T03:30:38Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > My father told me that in New York there was a place called Plato’s Retreat that he described as a “sex club.” Would that be the straight equivalent of a gay bathhouse? “They’re still going at it.” “You’re kidding!” “Yeah, well, you know what they said to me? The told me that Paul fits Roy perfectly!” That was the joke. It’s funny because it’s about sex. Anyway, I doubt there are many sex clubs that have the atmosphere of a bathhouse. I’m also under the impression that there aren’t any bathhouses anymore - but when they existed, back before AIDS, they were generally quite anonymous. You’d have sex with some dude you didn’t know. Then you left. I don’t think most sex clubs work that way, though the intricacies of the straight mating ritual elude me. But most of them are going to require couples (since single women wouldn’t show up and single men definitely would) and I doubt they’re as anonymous. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/32 "2004-11-25T03:44:05Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > PFR, > > There are plenty of such places, at least outside of the Bible Belt where you and I presently reside . The problem isn’t the place, it’s the clientele. 95% male, and the rest looking to be paid for their time. > > What you (and I) want is for women to adopt the classic gay male attitude: sex is like tennis, just a fun thing to do with balls for a 20 minutes and nothing more than that. Until the ladies get a major rewiring of their brains and/or hormones I guess we’ll be stuck with the status quo. OTOH, it could be worse … Yeah, that’s why the hetero sex clubs that do exist are basically swingers clubs. They’re “couples only” which pretty much means that any dude who goes in there has to bring a woman with him or the whole thing just turns into a sausage fest. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/33 "2004-11-25T03:48:38Z")
> [@PaulFitzroy](#): > > My father told me that in New York there was a place called Plato’s Retreat that he described as a “sex club.” Would that be the straight equivalent of a gay bathhouse? Pretty much, been there, did that at _way_ too young \ you can probably google something about it, but i am not at home and I dont want to shock the people in the room with looking over my shoulder at something like that=) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/34 "2004-11-25T03:55:55Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > …or the whole thing just turns into a sausage fest. You say that like it’s a bad thing… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/35 "2004-11-25T03:56:42Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > I’m also under the impression that there aren’t any bathhouses anymore - but when they existed, back before AIDS, they were generally quite anonymous. Um, they definitely still exist – there are at least five I know of in Montreal, of which one opened quite recently. ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/36 "2004-11-25T04:01:50Z")
Still some in San Francisco, too. Damn. Sometimes I wish I lived there. Nothing like walking down the street, minding your own business, and suddenly being blessed by a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/37 "2004-11-25T04:02:42Z")
> [@Yamirskoonir](#): > > Still some in San Francisco, too. Damn. Sometimes I wish I lived there. Nothing like walking down the street, minding your own business, and suddenly being blessed by a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence. 🆒 Yeah, but those baptisms can get messy… ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/38 "2004-11-25T04:23:43Z")
What do they do? They do… …stuff. 😕 Y’know…_stuff?_ 😕😕😕 :eek: :smack: :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/39 "2004-11-25T04:33:26Z")
> [@EvilAsh](#): > > I always wonder what _exactly_ goes on in that place, but I’m too much of wiener to go in and find out. You’d think that’d be an advantage… ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555/40 "2004-11-25T04:34:58Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > You’d think that’d be an advantage… Grr… I’m such a meathead… I was trying to think of something to say to that, but couldn’t think of anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-goes-on-inside-a-gay-bathhouse/276555.md?page=3)