# What happened to Coldfire? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 18, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960 "2000-02-18T16:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ophanim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8491ac/32.png) [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/1 "2000-02-18T16:43:00Z")
Sorry guys, you can see the need to do this though. * * * I’m back! … Oh so NO-ONE knew I was gone? Well that’s just freakin great. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/2 "2000-02-18T16:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > What happened to Coldfire? Terrible accident…skiing under the influence…broken leg… ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/3 "2000-02-18T16:46:00Z")
Who’s Coldfire? * * * An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille. ---
**Author:** ![okatym](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/76d3ee/32.png) [@okatym](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okatym)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/4 "2000-02-18T16:50:00Z")
He’s the one that used to post under the name SQRLCUB. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/5 "2000-02-18T17:47:00Z")
He left the board, then his “boards” left him. He was skiing the moguls near the top of Mt. Merde in the French Alps when his new ski eqipment failed him. One ski went left, the other right. This caused him to fall foward at great speed, thereby performing a great felching imitation between two round, soft, white hillocks. It took and hour and a half to extricate him. (It wouldn’t’ve taken so long if he hadn’t fought so hard.) He was taken _to hospital_ (that’s European for “to _the_ hospital”). Upon recovery, he was heard to say, in Dutch, “Voody doop ee foorty koopy aag oot.” (Trans: I want a beer.) He’s expected to make a full recovery, but since he’s Dutch, how would anyone know? ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/6 "2000-02-18T17:55:00Z")
I already put this in his other thread, but what the hell! The best jokes improve upon repetition. He ate too many of chef Jean-Louis Galland’s dishes, now he can hardly walk. [http://www.smh.com.au/news/9910/22/text/world8.html](http://www.smh.com.au/news/9910/22/text/world8.html) * * * Official winner of [Bricker Challenge #5](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/004959.html). ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/7 "2000-02-18T17:56:00Z")
He and his girlfriend got trapped in a snowstorm and took refuge in a cave where they found the frozen remains of a mastadon. They made a fire out of their skis and roasted and ate pieces of the great frozen beast to stay alive. They were successfully rescued but are now starting to sprout hair from strange places. Scientists are checking into the possibility of genetic modification of the mastadon meat by ancient aliens. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/8 "2000-02-18T19:57:00Z")
He was banned after the moderators found out he was also posting as bj(zero)rn. * * * _Here’s mud in yer eye,_ UncleBeer ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/9 "2000-02-18T20:14:00Z")
Dammit, and I never would have found this one had I not logged on ONE last time… you people are EVIL, ya hear 😃 * * * **Coldfire** * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/10 "2000-02-18T23:54:00Z")
Coldfire is unable to sit down for extended periods of time due to an unfortunate felching incident conducted at freezing temperatures. * * * Have you voted for your favorite, huggable Mullinator today? ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/11 "2000-02-19T03:05:00Z")
Well, I strongly suspect a tangled umbilical during the trauma of birth, but… Oh, you mean recently. He had some free time and a loving woman, so being Coldfire, he promptly set out to fall down snowy mountains with 2x4’s strapped to his feet. On second thought, maybe oxygen deprivation early in life _does_ explain a lot. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@Carl\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Berry)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-coldfire/13960/12 "2000-02-19T16:05:00Z")
The dike broke & he was washed out to sea! Last seen as he passed above the Chunnel! * * * Zymurgist