# What happened to marriage opponents? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [August 18, 2015, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211 "2015-08-18T20:40:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/41 "2015-08-26T01:48:45Z")
> [@blueslipper](#): > > de facto marriage is when two people are living together effectively as a married couple but just have not had a wedding or marriage licence. To me these people are married. That is why all those stats are meaningless in this discussion. I want a cite that the people who said that marriage was on the decline only did so because they wanted multiple partners. Without that cite your original claim is purely opinion and cannot be debated. The reality is that the number of married couples has declined, and that cohabitation is no longer much of a taboo. Maybe you misunderstood what people were talking about when mentioning the decline of marriage in the 80’s and 90’s? ---
**Author:** ![blueslipper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@blueslipper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blueslipper)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/42 "2015-08-27T19:47:22Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > I want a cite that the people who said that marriage was on the decline only did so because they wanted multiple partners. Without that cite your original claim is purely opinion and cannot be debated. > > The reality is that the number of married couples has declined, and that cohabitation is no longer much of a taboo. Maybe you misunderstood what people were talking about when mentioning the decline of marriage in the 80’s and 90’s? We are not able to debate an opinion! Please can we get the Moderator to get rid of Great Debates please. I misunderstood what they were talking about- well thank you for all your crap. Gay marriage was not on the radar 30 years ago. Now it seems like almost everyone supports it. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/43 "2015-08-27T21:30:19Z")
Well, that depends on [whose radar](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baker_v._Nelson) you are talking about. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/44 "2015-08-28T00:46:58Z")
> [@blueslipper](#): > > Gay marriage was not on the radar 30 years ago. Yes it was. 30 years ago was 1985 - not exactly the Dark Ages. But you’re right, of course we can debate opinions. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/45 "2015-08-28T00:55:20Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > Speak for yourself. > > Polyamorous, involved in 3 committed ongoing relationships, never set foot inside the institution of marriage. Ditto…ish. In a long-term, committed, successful open marriage. The sexual revolution and marriage aren’t, actually, incompatible, unless people decide to make them so. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/46 "2015-09-04T11:09:30Z")
Here is the information about the number of people in the U.S. living together in any kind of relationship from 1980 to 2013. This counts both those in legal marriages and those living together who aren’t married. These statistics split up the American population according to age. The fact is that under the age of about 65, people are less likely to live together in any kind of relationship. For people 45 to 49, for instance, the percentage living together in any kind of relationship was about 77% in 1980, but in 2013 the percentage is about 64%: > **[Americans Increasingly Likely to Lead Lonely, Loveless Existences, Except in...](https://slate.com/business/2015/09/lonely-americans-we-re-less-likely-to-live-with-a-partner-except-in-old-age.html)** > > For all the verbage on the decline of marriage in the United States, I don't think I've ever seen a graph that illustrates our national turn towards... So what has happened is not purely people being married being replaced by people living together without being married. What’s happened is also that people are less likely to live with a partner as long as they are younger than about 65. Interestingly, people over 65 are more likely to live with a partner in 2013 than in 1980. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2015, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/47 "2015-09-04T19:45:28Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > hat people are less likely to live with a partner as long as they are younger than about 65. Interestingly, people over 65 are more likely to live with a partner in 2013 than in 1980. I wonder what the difference is between 1980 and 2015 in relative death rate between men and women (over 40), and in people in (long term) same sex co-vivants (in the same age range). ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211/48 "2015-09-13T20:59:52Z")
I think the question being asked here is not “is marriage declining?” but “what happened to the movement of people who wanted to get rid of marriage?” They may not be marrying themselves, but they don’t seem to be trying to get rid of it. And I think the answers in this thread are valid. A lot of them were really just anti-establishment or just didn’t want to get married themselves. Many changed their minds about that latter, others didn’t, but they realized other people did want to get married. And, since the thread made me think of it, I’ll mention my own take: I can find myself wanting more than one sexual partner, but I also inherently want a single partner that would be my best friend at an intimacy level that friendship allows. That to me is the call for monogamy, which is separate from our libido that makes us want to so sow our seed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-marriage-opponents/728211.md?page=2)