# What happened to the Food Network? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 7, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820 "2009-02-07T18:30:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/141 "2009-02-11T20:08:26Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Oh, Jebus. > > She mentioned once in a commercial going to “CAPry.” > > Took my brain almost 30 seconds of subliminal processing to realize she’d been to Capri. It isn’t just Italian words, she overpronouces just about every syllable. Next time you watch her show, pay close attention to how she says “ch” or “sh”. “These are just so freSH and crunCHy”. Man, it drives me up the friggin wall. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/142 "2009-02-11T21:19:23Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > Seriously, one would think that the success of _Good Eats_ would make the programming decision-makers at FN take notice. They’re spending so much money trying to capitalize on the success of Iron Chef & reality shows that they are ignoring the success of the one “hard-core” show they have left. Decades from now, scholars will call that the MTV effect. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/143 "2009-02-11T21:21:34Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Boobage and foodage. I read an article someplace that the people who make food TV (this network and others) consciously shoot the food like they’re shooting porn. Glistening closeups, overmiked slurpy sound effects, the works. Nigella may be a goddess, but really _watch_ the show sometime, and you’ll crack up. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/144 "2009-02-11T21:30:59Z")
I thought everyone knew it was food porn. There’s house porn, too–just switch over to HGTV. I miss Sarah blonde pony-tail woman. (Moulter? Coulter?). I liked how she cooked. I also like Alton Brown because I learn something about cookery or science/nutrition. That said, I have no idea when he’s on, since I just take my chances on catching him. I will not watch Rachel Ray do anything. I can’t stand perky. Perky in a “chef” is the equivalent of the Stay Puf marshmallow man. I loathe her and her cheap plastic slops bowl that looks like extruded linoleum from a Lutheran church basement ala 1964. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/145 "2009-02-11T21:40:12Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I have no idea when he’s on, since I just take my chances on catching him. 8 pm, 11 pm, and 3 am. (Eastern) Two shows each slot. so says my DVR ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/146 "2009-02-11T21:43:09Z")
> [@JuliaSqueezer](#): > > Or, in the case of one large-headed Food Network Star, gratuitous displays of boobage. Giada De Laurentiis: the human race’s answer to the bobblehead doll. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/147 "2009-02-11T21:54:56Z")
Didn’t someone famous say that all TV stars are giant-headed dwarfs? ---
**Author:** ![chrissysissystar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5e9695/32.png) [@chrissysissystar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrissysissystar)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/148 "2009-02-11T22:15:10Z")
I’d love it if they gave _Rescue Chef_ (formerly _Food 911_) back to Tyler Florence. It was a show about a guy who was enthused about food and was passing what he knew to someone who really wanted to learn. For that matter, bring back _How to Boil Water_. While that Jack chick was annoying, there was good straightforward cookin’ going on. I still use Tyler’s [pot roast recipe](http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/pot-roast-with-roasted-vegetables-recipe/index.html)from that show. I like Ted Allen - maybe they should give him something other than that _Good Eats_-lite _Food Detective_. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/149 "2009-02-11T22:30:53Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Okay, I don’t like her show either. I just don’t get how _that’s_ a reason for not liking it. How do you show someone cooking but not have her (ample ample) chest in the shot? It’s not so much her “tracts of land” as it is the plunging necklines and near-overhead shots used to emphasize same said tracts. Poor girl’s gonna catch a nasty chest cold at some point with all the airing they get. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/150 "2009-02-11T22:48:09Z")
Count me in for the Good Eats people. I like the competition stuff, too: Ultimate Recipe Challenge, I love Next Food Network Star (birthplace of Guy Fieri, who, I have to say, has certainly become a star in that universe. I didn’t want him to win, but I think he’s done more with it than the guy he beat would have. That’s what they always want: people they can plug in to more than one show.) Oh, and I have a new favorite: Food Detectives. Fun stuff! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/151 "2009-02-12T00:35:33Z")
I’m on board with the _How to Boil Water_, _Food Detective_, _Good Eats_ direction. I’m tired of competitions, except for _Iron Chef America_. I prefer Emeril Lagasse, Rachael Ray, and Jamie Oliver, even though their on screen personalities put me off. I recall reading an article that said that Bobby Flay never quite fit into the cooking shows and that’s why he’s only doing competitions now. Realistically, I think a lot of the competition shows are cheaper to produce than the good shows are. Even if their viewership drops slightly, they still might get a larger margin of profit. And that, of course, is the definition of a death spiral. That’s what happened to MTV, I think. > [@Cervaise](#): > > I read an article someplace that the people who make food TV (this network and others) consciously shoot the food like they’re shooting porn. Glistening closeups, overmiked slurpy sound effects, the works. Nigella may be a goddess, but really _watch_ the show sometime, and you’ll crack up. Are you kidding? Have you ever watched actual porn? Porn is just pointing a camera at genitals. Actually eroticizing food takes more effort. 😃 By the way, I love Nigella. And I also am puzzled at the way Giada manages to bore me, even with cleavage. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/152 "2009-02-12T00:39:37Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > I recall reading an article that said that Bobby Flay never quite fit into the cooking shows and that’s why he’s only doing competitions now. How much do I despise Bobby Flay? Let me count the ways… I only ever watch throwdown in hopes he’ll get his smug ass kicked. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/153 "2009-02-12T21:36:32Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > It’s not so much her “tracts of land” as it is the plunging necklines and near-overhead shots used to emphasize same said tracts. Poor girl’s gonna catch a nasty chest cold at some point with all the airing they get. See? [Cracked agrees with me](http://www.cracked.com/article_16236_6-most-gratuitously-cleavaged-women-on-tv.html); they listed her as #5 of the “6 Most Gratuitously-Cleavaged Women on TV”. And in case that title doesn’t give you a hint, there are in fact pictures and YouTube clips of same-said cleavage, so click wisely. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/154 "2009-02-12T22:22:49Z")
Ok, a few things. Tyler Florence used to be the biggest cunt on Earth. That show where he went and smirked all over some poor woman’s kitchen while berating her utensils and food know how made me want to kneecap him, but he’s mellowed a bit as he’s gotten fatter and I don’t hate him as much as I used to, plus his food is awesome. Guy Fieri’s now tied with Duff Limp Bizkit for being the biggest douche on the network. I think the reson that Fieri stumps for Applebees is because managing one is probably the closest that turd has ever gotten to working in a kitchen. He has a Hospitality degree from UNLV, he not a chef. Also I like his Wikipedia [picture](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fieri) becase he has the same pallor as an erect penis head in that shot, and I think that’s fitting. Sandra Lee…I like her because she has huge tits, which she hides, and she’s one of those perfectionist-yet-still-raging-alcoholic types that I grew up around. I don’t want to eat her food, but we could snort down some of that bourbon and bone on the tablescape. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/155 "2009-02-12T22:30:20Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Sandra Lee…I like her because she has huge tits, which she hides, and she’s one of those perfectionist-yet-still-raging-alcoholic types that I grew up around. I don’t want to eat her food, but we could snort down some of that bourbon and bone on the tablescape. _snerk_ My husband called her “an aging trophy wife” - and yes, I did note the inclusion of a mixed drink into darned near every menu. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/156 "2009-02-12T22:40:34Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > _snerk_ My husband called her “an aging trophy wife” - and yes, I did note the inclusion of a mixed drink into darned near every menu. And it’s never something soft, like Lillet or Chambourd, it’s always bourbon or vodka. Hardcore drinkers stuff. She’s so hot. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/157 "2009-02-12T23:04:31Z")
It could be worse. Debbie “Mrs” Fields of the Chicago cookie chain had a dessert show for a while. She had zero credibility because of her inch-long French-wrapped nails. No way in hell could she cook with those talons! ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/158 "2009-02-13T00:20:16Z")
Maybe the Food Network ought to take a leaf out of SciFi’s book and have a wrestling show. I can see Hoagan’s Hoagies or Stonegound with Steve Austin being a hit. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/159 "2009-02-13T00:39:04Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Maybe the Food Network ought to take a leaf out of SciFi’s book and have a wrestling show. I can see Hoagan’s Hoagies or Stonegound with Steve Austin being a hit. They could go a lot of ways with this, taking a page from: IFC: _Furious Foods with Henry Rollins_ A&E: _Inside The Actors’ Kitchen_ VH1: _Tila Tequila’s Cooking on Silicone_ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2009, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820/160 "2009-02-13T00:53:29Z")
Nah, it needs to be something like “Bikini Jell-O Wrestling With Rachael Ray and Giada de Laurentiis.” _That_ would bring the male viewers in by the assload. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happened-to-the-food-network/484820.md?page=9)