# What happens if the Flying Spaghetti Monster lands. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 30, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319 "2011-10-30T22:01:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2011, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/1 "2011-10-30T22:01:19Z")
What happens if the Flying Spaghetti Monster lands. I mean he wouldn’t be flying so what would he be? Would he even still exist? Also, what do pirates have to do with the FSM? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/2 "2011-10-30T22:20:33Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > What happens if the Flying Spaghetti Monster lands. Oh hell no! I battled that thing eons ago, don’t tell me it’s back! Well, of course, that too was foretold by the Elder Scrolls, but right now, the dragon’s are next in line, so let me finish those off first then I’ll deal with the the FSM. Hey, why don’t make a call to South Park, they handled Cthulhu nicely, I’m sure some meatballs won’t stand a chance. 😃 Actually, just because it lands does not mean it cannot fly, so therefore it would still be a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Also, according to this [Wiki](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster), pirates are gods or something, instead of being thieves and murderers, pirates of the past were just explorers and peace lovers :rolleyes:. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/3 "2011-10-30T23:02:52Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > … Also, what do pirates have to do with the FSM? It has ninja followers as well. It’s just that no one ever sees them. ---
**Author:** ![Jaguars](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaguars/32/5879_2.png) [@Jaguars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaguars)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2011, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/4 "2011-10-30T23:50:05Z")
It is still capable of flying. therefore it will become the Briefly Dirtbound Spaghetti Monster, or BDSM. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/5 "2011-10-31T00:32:49Z")
There will a run on tomatoes and Spaghetti sauce at every store within a hundred miles. probably on Pesto and Parmesan too. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/6 "2011-10-31T00:36:25Z")
> [@Jaguars](#): > > It is still capable of flying. therefore it will become the Briefly Dirtbound Spaghetti Monster, or BDSM. Unless it’s not done. Then it just sticks to the wall. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/7 "2011-10-31T03:06:53Z")
It would be cloudy with a chance of meatballs. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/8 "2011-10-31T17:48:56Z")
I’d like to see it battle the Invisible Pink Unicorn. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/9 "2011-10-31T18:56:09Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’d like to see it battle the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Nonsense. There’s no such things as invisible pink unicorns. ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/10 "2011-10-31T20:10:42Z")
> [@](#): > > It is still capable of flying. therefore it will become the Briefly Dirtbound Spaghetti Monster, or BDSM. I searched the web for BDSM.:eek::eek::eek: ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/11 "2011-10-31T21:06:37Z")
The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not “land”-it grasps the Earth in it’s Noodly Goodness and takes us for a ride. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Bosstrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstrain)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/12 "2011-11-02T00:55:47Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > I searched the web for BDSM.:eek::eek::eek: C’mon, you did that on purpose, you dirty little…😃 (don’t worry, I’ve done it myself a couple times :eek:) ---
**Author:** ![Jaguars](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaguars/32/5879_2.png) [@Jaguars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaguars)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/13 "2011-11-02T11:28:57Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > I’d like to see it battle the Invisible Pink Unicorn. > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Nonsense. There’s no such things as invisible pink unicorns. It can battle longcat then. Interesting, the wiki has informed me that the universe was created by the F/BDSM ‘after drinking heavily’ ---
**Author:** ![Crawlspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Crawlspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crawlspace)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/14 "2011-11-02T13:09:12Z")
When the Flying Spaghetti Monster lands our corporeal bodies are transformed into ethereal meatballs and we become one in union with the cosmic pasta dish. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/15 "2011-11-02T13:31:48Z")
The five second rule applies: > **[Five-second rule](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-second_rule)** > > The five-second rule, sometimes known as the three-second rule, is a food hygiene myth that states a defined time window where it is safe to pick up food (or sometimes cutlery) after it has been dropped on the floor or on the ground and thus exposed to contamination. > There appears to be no scientific consensus on the general applicability of the rule, and its origin is unclear. It probably originated succeeding germ theory in the late 19th century. The first known mention of the rule in print is... ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/16 "2011-11-02T13:37:31Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Nonsense. There’s no such things as invisible pink unicorns. Double nonsense. You don’t see it, do you? That proves it exists! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/17 "2011-11-02T13:43:16Z")
Wheree’r its noodly appendages touch the earth, a blessed spring of tomato sauce springs forth to feed its flock. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-if-the-flying-spaghetti-monster-lands/601319/18 "2011-11-02T14:44:08Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > Also, what do pirates have to do with the FSM? The [decline of pirates](http://www.venganza.org/images/PiratesVsTemp.png) since the 1800s has been the main cause of global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t. [.](http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/)