# What happens when soldiers run out of toilet paper?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-when-soldiers-run-out-of-toilet-paper/258778>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [August 7, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-when-soldiers-run-out-of-toilet-paper/258778 "2004-08-07T14:47:52Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\
**Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-when-soldiers-run-out-of-toilet-paper/258778/21 "2004-08-16T02:27:34Z")

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> [@ReverseCowgirl](#):
>
> [slight hijack]
> 
> On a related topic, ever wonder what female soldiers do about female issues?
> 
> When operating in the field, wearing full BDUs (Battle Dress, Utility), ECWCS (Extreme Cold Weather Clothing System), boots, flack jacket and tactical equipment, it is time-consuming, difficult, and exposing to undress sufficiently to remove and replace a tampon. It is easier and faster to pull out a pad and replace it.
> 
> :eek:
> 
> [http://www.hood-meddac.army.mil/default.asp?page=chn\_fsrg5&vi=n&mnu=2](http://www.hood-meddac.army.mil/default.asp?page=chn_fsrg5&vi=n&mnu=2)
> 
> [/slight hijack]

on the risk of a tmi alert situation…

I used to be an avid camper/hiker before I messed my back up, and I used to wear BDUs hijacked from other members of my family - they wear like iron and the price was right=) Being female…sometimes the planned hike ended up with me on the rag. _If_ you wear a pad for leak protection, you can change a tampon as I always seemed to be wearing BDUs one size bigger than my normal size. You simply take a pad of several layers of toilet paper in the left hand, hold the pad just at the top/front of the pad in the undies, snake the right and in and pull the tampon out with the string, and capture it in the pad of TP. pull it out, and replace tampon. Sounds awkward, but with practice it is not much messier than dropping trou totally and whizzing…FWIW, I have always ad to wear pads and tampon, I can bleed through a 16 gram super plus tampon in an hour and when one is working or in school, you cant always get to teh bathroom as quickly as you need to=\

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**Author:** ![DelawareEng](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@DelawareEng](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DelawareEng)\
**Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-when-soldiers-run-out-of-toilet-paper/258778/22 "2004-08-16T02:32:56Z")

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:dubious:

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**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\
**Post date:** [August 16, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-happens-when-soldiers-run-out-of-toilet-paper/258778/23 "2004-08-16T23:07:08Z")

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> [@DelawareEng](#):
>
> Kind of yucky but a soldier friend of mine told me an army trick is to lube your anus with vasaline before trips to the field, so that a BM will simply slip out without any mess.

That sounds like some sort of a crude joke on new recruits…

Sorta like the joke that goes:

Q: So, if you went camping and woke up with a sore butt and with your butt all covered in crisco, would you tell anyone?  
A: Um, I guess not.  
Q: Wanna go camping?

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