Mr2U had court that morning - I was watching CNN as a matter of fact when they showed the first building had been hit. He ran into the bedroom to see if I had seen it - just then we watched the second plane hit. Shaken, we went to court. We were waiting outside the courtroom when one of the bailiffs from across the hall came outside and yelled to everyone in the hallway “They’ve hit the Pentagon!”. They evacuated us.
Now, I have a real unsettled feeling most of the time, if that makes any sense. I get nervous when planes fly low (and living under a flight path to O’Hare really helps :rolleyes: ), I get nervous when the emergency broadcast thingy goes off, I get nervous when I hear sirens outside. I don’t even know if nervous is the right word to use - it’s an unsettled, jumpy, not so much a what’s going to happen feeling, maybe more of a when’s something going to happen feeling, if that makes sense.
I won’t fly. I had to put my son on a plane to Arizona this summer, and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Initially, I wasn’t even going to let him go - but he shouldn’t suffer because I’m in the throes of the willies, if that makes sense. I don’t want HIM dealing with MY fears, rational or not.
I am far less prone to give benefit of the doubt to those who denounce the USA. Now I presume that they are ready, willing, able, eager, and practically frothing at the mouth to commit mass murder and ought to be treated accordingly. Before the attack, I was far more willing to cut slack. After the attack, I’ve been shown that restraint and forebearance are utterly wasted on some people. Some movements and ideologies need to be exterminated for the good of humanity. That is what the attack taught me.
Before the attack, I was far more willing to admit that there might be some middle ground to find. Afterwards, I have been shown that they deny any possibility of middle ground. They will accept nothing short of the extermination of me, my entire family, and all I love in the name of their false demonic pseudo-“god”.
I was watching the Today show that morning–something that I rarely do, but there was an author on (can’t even remember who) and I wanted to see that interview with him. I had just turned it on to hear the breaking news that a plane had hit the first tower. I, like everyone else, assumed it was an accident. A horrific accident to be sure but just an accident.
And then a few minutes later right there on live TV I saw the second plane hit the second tower. I was completely in shock as I realized that I’d just watched several hundred people lose their lives in that instant. I can’t even describe the feeling that came over me. I’ve never felt that sort of terror or panic before or since.
And then the other planes–at the Pentagon, in that field in PA…I remember thinking that planes were just falling out of the sky. I stood at the front door and watched every time I heard a plane going over, seriously wondering if that plane was going to reach its destination. Later that day, the silence in the sky after all planes were grounded was just as unsettling to me as the sounds of the planes going over.
My daughter was in school that day–in 1st grade–and I wondered if I should go and get her early and how in the world I was going to explain this to her. How could I explain such evil to a child? How could I make sense of something to her when it didn’t even make sense to me?
Since then I have become far more aware of my own mortality than I have ever been before. I realize that I am no longer totally safe in my little corner of suburbia and that I can no longer afford to be indifferent or naive about world events.
I haven’t changed radically in my thinking but I do tend to be slightly more paranoid, nervous and stressed out. I watch the news a lot more frequently than I did before Sept. 11 and subconciously am always on the lookout for the next big attack.
I absolutely will not fly. Ever. I know that sounds irrational but it’s just something I am just completely unable to get past.
The one and only positive thing to come of all this for me personally is that I look at my husband and kids and have a real appreciation for the here and now. I never had that before and although it sounds cheesy, I can directly attribute it to the events of 9/11.
I was in a patient’s room and glanced up when he said “Something happening in New York”. I was going to graduate in December and it was one of my last clinical days as a student RN.
A year later I was newly married and working my dream job as a Labor and Delivery RN.
Another year later, working a cushier job and still married to my cushier husband.
The world can change in an instant—don’t put things off.
I live close enough to the Pentagon that I heard the explosion. I could see the snaky smoke plume, but since my high-rise apartment lines up with both the Pentagon and the Capitol, I couldn’t tell what had exploded (and the news media, focused on the World Trade Center, took about half an hour to say that it was, indeed, the Pentagon that had been hit).
I don’t know anyone who died in the attacks. There are a lot of Middle-Eastern folks living in my apartment complex, and I don’t blame them for anything. My mechanic, from Pakistan, already had his business badly interrupted by the “Mixing Bowl” construction on the Capital Beltway; the added stigma of being a Muslim in Northern Virginia could not have helped his business either (although business today is apaprently fine).
I haven’t worked any significant overtime since the attacks. My income went quite suddenly from 50 to 40K annually.
I was home schooling at the time, so I was at home, asleep, when most other kids my age were in high school. I woke up, flipped the TV channel on, and I remember that the WTC was on every single channel.
The first airplane had hit it a few minutes before I awoke, and all I can remember is how the newscaster kept saying that it might have been an accident – after all, a plane once flew into the Empire State Building on accident, it’s not impossible, maybe some terrible mistake had been made. And I thought, please let it be an accident, please please please.
Then the second airplane hit, and we knew it wasn’t an accident. And it was overwhelming and the Pentagon had been hit and I remember thinking, I’m dreaming, this is some terrible nightmare and pinching myself until I was purple to wake myself up. And I didn’t wake up and the nightmare just went on and on and the buildings collapsed and even though I was in Mississippi the smoke and the debris and the sobbing and the screaming seemed like they were right next door, right on top of me, swallowing the world.
I had to escape, so I walked down the street to the playground of my old elementary school. The streets were completely empty, there wasn’t a soul to be seen. The sun was so bright and it was so beautiful outside. I sat in a swing and turned on my radio and tried in vain to find a music station, because even on the radio all I could hear was terrorism… World Trade Center… the towers have collapsed…President Bush… the Pentagon…evacuation…
I wept and wept and wept until I had no more tears, then I slept and awoke to find that I could weep again.
September 11th is the day that made me finally decide to do things in my life. I no longer wanted to wait to ask my then boyfriend to marry me. I no longer gave a rats ass about that crappy job I had (I quit the next January 14th) I no longer was able to handle the guy on the street cutting me off in traffic. I completely stopped driving 4 months later. I didn’t want to wait to call my father to tell him I was sorry (we hadn’t spoken in 15 years) and that I loved him.
I was driving to work that morning, listening to the radio talkshow and they started talking about it. I thought they were joking and I remember saying “thats NOT funny” and turned on the CD player instead. When I got to work I’d actually put it out of my mind till I got to the breakroom and everyone was standing around the TV. Some of them were crying and when I asked what was up they all looked at me with stunned looks and said “you don’t know?!” I shrugged, picked up the pot of coffee and started pouring some into my cup as the second tower was hit. For some reason all I can remember is the sound of the newscasters voice and the smell of the coffee. I dropped the pot on the floor and it splashed onto my bare leg but I didn’t feel a thing. The sight of the plane slamming into the building is burned into my mind but I don’t remember giving myself second degree burns. Funny how the mind works.
I was driving a delivery truck at the time and while on my way to my first stop I turned on the radio. The second tower had just gone down and I remember pulling over, stopping the truck and bawling uncontrollably. My dispatcher called and I was crying so hard I couldn’t respond (played it off later as radio trouble)
Every time I hear a plane go overhead I think about that week and remember when the first plane went overhead during the air ban. I was walking up to someones house and actually ducked into the bushes! I was TERRIFIED. I peeked out in time to see a big white plane with a weird looking thing on top of it. (learned later that it was a radar plane) I was so afraid that I went back to the yard, dropped off my truck, and went to my sons daycare to pick him up.
2 years later, I’m married to the love of my life, we have a beautiful new babyand I’m a stay at home mom. Our income went from 56,000 to 32,000 because I’m not working. I’m still terrified to go outside a lot of the time but it’s getting easier. I’m still having trouble with PTSD and am in therapy for it so I’m working on my issues. I cannot fathom how the people in the actual vicinity can deal with it… You all have my utmost respect
I became a lot angrier. A lot angrier, and it took me a long time to get over it. I’m not sure I am 100%, actually.
I remain much more aware of service personnel – fire fighters, police officers, nurses, rescue workers, soldiers, sailors, the wildland fire fighters still hard at it in my home state as I type this. I feel a profound gratitude to them all for the work they do and the risks they take. I want to thank them for doing it.
I am acutely aware that the price of freedom isn’t free, and that some people hate us not only for what we do, but even for what we are. I give those people the metaphorical middle finger every day, by trying to be a good and productive citizen of the country I love.
I don’t know that I’m more of a patriot, or that I love my country more, but I’m certainly more aware of those feelings than I was before.
I am certainly more concerned by the continued erosion of civil liberties, an issue that was more academic pre- 9/11.
I remember the day very well. It was a beautiful day in Toronto. At the time I lived right across the street from where I work and I had forgotten my wallet at home, so I walked back to get it. I was in the elevator when someone said a plane had hit the WTC, but I wasn’t really paying attention.
When I got back to work I tried to use the Web to find out what was going on. I could not access ANY WWW site related to news. Nothing. So I called my father, and he told me what was happening.
I called by best friend, an American, lives in Sunnyvale, CA. I told him to turn the TV on. He was very silent. I said I’d let him go. I called my wife and told her what was going on.
At the time my company was running an ISO 9000 class in the room next to my office. Most of the attendees were American. We went in and calmly explained what was going on. They were shocked. By 2 PM they were panicked and we had to dispel a dozen rumours they’d heard on their cell phones. They obviously could not continue with the course, but they were trapped in Toronto - everything was grounded and the air force would presumably shoot down anything that took off anyway.
Of course, everyone wanted to help the USA. We all ran out to give blood, not knowing at that point that, sadly, few survived the catastrophe to recieve it. People went to write condolence letters, sign cards, leave flowers at the embassies and consulates. Do whatever you can. Of course, thousands of Americans were put up in homes all over the country. It was the friendliest we’d been since WWII. Canada jumped into the war in Afghanistan with broad public support.
Sadly, we’ve lost that. George Bush snubbed Canada in his speech, and then you had the horrible bombing incident, then Chretien insulted Bush, and then the Iraq fiasco. All that goodwill has been pissed away.
How has it all changed me? Not much at all. 9/11 was horrible, but life went on, just as it goes on after earthquakes and floods and plagues and wars that kill many times more people. The promise of a real global war on terror has, sadly, devolved into the same old bullshit. Things are not much different, really. More horrible things will happen in the future, and some things will get better and some will get worse, as it always has been. I’ll just keep working to support my family and spend lots of time with them.
So many of my feelings have already been said, but I’ll give it a try.
I am angry, still angry, at the unspeakably horrible “people” who can so blithely countenance such actions. My anger is so large I try not to think of it.
I am proud of my country, and how we have responded. I am saddened by those who would run away at the first setback, and by those who blame America first.
I am proud, and grateful, for all the decent people here and around the world who gave help, encouragement, and support in that awful time and in the time since. I was moved to tears at the story of some African villagers who donated cows – their prize possessions and symbols of wealth – to help America.
I am grateful to, and proud of, all of the rescuers, and to the people who are sacrificing to put an end to the groups that would do these things.
I have become more militant than I ever would have thought possible. I have a bit of understanding of how my parent felt when Pearl Harbor was attacked.
I take comfort in remembering how our brave British cousins bore with, survived and surmounted the horrors of the Nazi bombardment.
A small positive thing for me was that the events of that fall tipped my chronic anxiety and depression over the edge, which ultimately led to my getting proper medical treatment for them.
I have a greater appreciation now for what a wonderful life I have and how fortunate I have been. I’ve increased the amount that I share with those less fortunate.
First, let me cover myself with a bit of flame retardant. I am American, I love America, and I cannot think of another country I would rather belong to. I love our freedom, I love our openness, I love our support of minorities and the poor, and I love the opportunities that exist to anyone who has the drive to make things happen. In these things America is the model to emulate.
I start with this because I want people know know that I do not consider myself anti-American. I just feel that we have two sets of standards: one that applies to our domestic policies, and one that we apply to everyone else in the world.
Yes, on 9/11 we were raped. That is a good word for it, since it was a very personal attack, it struck us where we lived, it took away our innocence, and it changed the way we look at things forever. And as I said in my first post, those 3000 didn’t deserve to die.
Rape is wrong, obviously. However, I ask you, if a woman is raped after a night out, I can bet that in the future she is going to be extra careful about how she dresses, which men she associates with, and where she walks at night. That goes too for the US. These terrorists don’t particularly hate Christians (if they did, why attack the WTC, why not St Patricks on a Sunday?) – they hate America. And why? Because we interfere in the governance of the middle east (propping up the currupt royal family in Saudi Arabia); we create countries (Israel and Kuwait); we promote extremely lopsided economic and trade policies (WTO; intellectual property in developing countries). And we take near-unilateral military action to support causes we firmly believe in but few else in the world support, with the loss of tens of thousands of civilian lives (Iraq, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Vietnam, to name a few). And face it, we do just about everything short of all-out war to piss off the Muslims of the world.
Yes, we are by far the wealthiest and most powerful country in the world, and have to ability to do just about anything we please. But with that strength comes responsibility, and we do not always remember to consider the bigger picture and the 6 billion other people on the planet.
So I am not blaming the rape victim, but I do think that the rape of America could have been prevented through more equitable treatment of the rest of the world. And I most definitely believe that we should open our eyes and realize that flexing our muscles now is not the solution. Do you really think that systematically invading Muslim countries and spewing ultra-nationalistic rhetoric are really going to prevent future terrorist attacks? I really fear not.
How has my life changed since September 11 2001? Like the rest of the posters in this thread, I feel chronically insecure. But I also feel increasingly guilty.
Enough from me, otherwise this is getting dangerously close to a hijack (of the thread, that is!).
Thank you all. Thank you all very much. This thread is starting to make me feel good again. I started it on purpose a few days before the anniversary. I thought that it may make some people feel at least a little more secure that they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings. There is a rally today at my school. Some of the students are going to be openly talking - to one another - about their thoughts and feelings about the US current state of affairs and about the tragedy of 9/11. I was asked to attend, and I am planning on referencing some of the feelings and emotions that are coming out in this unique opportunity at a cross section look at thoughts and feelings from dopers. I’m only referencing thoughts and feelings that are in common, obviously no mention of the boards…I mean I don’t want to be found out by student dopers right?
Staying strong, not letting ignorance into your thoughts and prayers is key to a working world. Students who will be running our nation need to look at the faults and the mile stones, and learn from them!
My school has a large population of non-American students. Many here on student visas. We need to be careful what we allow ourselves as a nation to think. Because resentment for outsiders can breed with in our brains, and act much like water on rock. It flows over for a while, then finds a crack, gets in and eventually wears away the layers.
Thank you all again for this thread. it is helping a lot.
Well, I guess there was so much smarm flying around, some was bound to land on me too!
My rant aside, what I am trying to say is that I am desperately afraid that what we are doing to prevent future attacks will never make a dent if enough people around the world still want to kill Americans. It only takes a few. And you have to admit, we aren’t making people like us very much lately, are we.
OK, so maybe we will never know if any of the blame lies with the victim. So my suggestion is this. Let’s assume that hyper-nationalism and military might are not the answer. Instead, let’s try something else: let’s stop supporting Israel. Let’s allow a truly neutral party to intervene in the Israel-Palestine conflict and try to bring about peace. Let’s price our gasoline like the rest of the developed world, say $4/gallon – we can afford it, and the environment will thank us. Or conversely, let’s give real support to alternative energy development and fuel efficiency. In either case, let’s break the petroleum habit. Let’s pay our share of financial dues toward the UN and development assistance. Let’s give developing countries fair terms of trade. And let’s stop tinkering with other people’s governments, we found our democracy, let them find theirs.
Will this stop terrorism better than the alternative? I don’t know, but it is worth a try. Fewer people will die, the world’s poor and environment will be better off, and more people will like Americans. That’s what I would call a SUPERpower.
I’ve been thinking about this since I read this thread last night.
My initial reaction was that nothing has really changed in my life. I mean, I was in Atlanta, where I lived at the time. I was taking an audit seminar, and my boss and a co-worker were in another one at the same location. We had a woman in the seminar who lived in Manhattan, who worked at the UN. We also had a marine in the seminar. The 9:00 start time for that day was held to. Some people had come downstairs from their rooms in the hotel to say that a plane had hit the WTC, but we were sure it had to be some kind of error. We didn’t hear about the other one until we got a break at around 10:30. Then we all sat out in the lobby and watching the news. Around 1:00 they brought us back into the seminar rooms, because they didn’t know what else to do with us. People had flown in from all over the country for these.
The marine never appeared back in the seminar again after the break. We heard that he either managed to get on a military flight back to DC, where he lived, or that he drove, but that was understandable. The woman from Manhattan was in and out for the rest of the seminar. Also understandable.
But things have changed for me. I’m no longer a corporate auditor. Instead, I’m in grad school. I don’t know that 9/11 consciously played into my decision to do what I’d wanted to do for a long time, but I’m sure it was there somewhere. And anytime I hear a lot of planes, I wonder. Not with the jolt of fear I got the first time I was outside my office building and one went over. A coworker said I flinched when I saw that. Not with the expectation that the planes are on their way to ram into some landmark, but…just wondering. Yesterday was one of those days. I went to my swimming class and there were a lot of planes taking off or landing at the Knoxville airport, probably one every 20-25 minutes, which is unusual for me to hear. I know that it was likely just a different approach pattern, but I noticed. Before, I rarely noticed the sound of planes overhead, and unlike immediately after 9/11, I no longer notice every one. But the awareness is there.
The changes are subtle. For me, it’s not fear or shock or anything like that. I really think awareness describes it well. I pay more attention to world events, I pay more attention to the world around me, locally, nationally, globally. The importance of them was pushed in on me in a sudden way, and even though I regret the way I became aware, I cannot say that the awareness is a bad thing.
Where I worked, everyone went to the conference room where they had turned on the big projection TV. We saw the towers fall. I was clinging to the woman next to me and we were both sobbing, sobbing, sobbing.
They closed the office down and sent everyone home.
One kinda odd reaction I had afterward was not being able to look at city skylines. Not even here in Atlanta, hundreds of miles away. Whenever I’d try to look at the skyscrapers, my eyes would just slide away from the sight. It was like I expected to see one of them burning, and I just couldn’t bear that.
In terms of Psychology, what we all experienced - those who understood that they were experiencing - is a flashbulb memory. Saying that the images were burned into your mind is a fair way to describe what happened. Your brain actualy created a separate file if you will. With things like the location, time, clothes you were wearing, people you were next to etc…etc… all burned into you unconscious mind. You will never forget those things.
As an experiment, ask someone who was around for when JFK got assassinated. I’d wager a bet that they could tell you where they were, what they were wearing, who they were with, and what they were doing when the found out. I tried on my mother and father - as I am 33 almost 34 - and they were spot on.
This will be the same when my children ask me about where I was, and what I was doing when it happened.
Robert - people manefest their fears in a variety of ways.
One more thing from me – The office I worked for at the time did not close for the day. They basically told us, “yes, this is very sad, but we can’t do anything about it, so get back to work and bill bill bill.” (I was then an associate at a private firm.) There was no recognition that some people might have personal reasons to feel unequal to working that day. There was no sense of the enormity of the tragedy.
They only closed the office when the building manager came and told them we were the only office open in the building, and would they please close for the day so that they (the building management company) could close and secure the building and worry about their other properties. And this was a medium-sized sky-scraper in downtown Seattle; if our office was the only one open, that meant a lot of offices had closed.
It was an early indicator of something I didn’t figure out for another 18 months – that place was not a good fit for me because the people who ran it had different priorities and values than I do. I would never be happy there until the day I finally left.
