Obesity, in and of itself, is not deadly. Obesity can be, and very often is, a symptom of behaviors that are harmful and lead to death: poor diet and inactivity. Many people die of diseases that are exacerbated by poor diet and inactivity without ever being obese, many people become obese without developing such diseases.
A more accurate way to phrase your question would be to say: which has claimed more lives, unhealthy diet and lack of exercise, or excessive alcohol consumption?
Having said that, it’s far too complicated a question to answer without a lot more information and clarity about variables. Because to begin with, we all die, and we all die of something. But when? Could we die later if we behave differently? Heart disease and cancer together take out the largest number, and both can be affected by the way we behave.
As for alcohol, how much is too much? Do you have to die of cirrhosis in order for it to be alcohol’s fault? (Or accidents that happen while intoxicated.)
At the end of the day, I think this is really about your relationship with your friend, and how you deal with and tolerate the things in each other that bother and concern you, and how you react to each other when both of you are doing things you probably both realize you would be better off moderating.
My suggestion as far as that goes is to have a frank, vulnerable and accepting discussion with her about the situation and how you can move forward without driving each other crazy, while still being good, supportive friends to each other.
Almost a nice save, except you wrote in the OP that you’d gladly quit drinking if she lost 100 pounds. Sure as hell sounds like you’re trying to avoid something about your drinking by shifting focus to her obesity. So my BS meter tells me that while your friend may be genuinely concerned about one of your self-destructive behaviors, your only interest in her self-destructive behavior is to use it to make her stop pointing out yours. Bad form.
Here’s one. Solve both of your problems simultaneously.
Start taking regular walks with your friend.
A. Exercise is good for both of you.
B. She can’t eat and you can’t drink when you’re strolling through the park.
C. Meet other people along the way by reaching out to them. See anyone on a bench? Sit down for five minutes and talk… about them.
Ask them where they live. What they do. Ask their names and introduce yourself.
Tell them you’re glad to meet them.
How seldom people communicate as they should, with other humans.
And on your walks, keep an eye out for community problems, whether litter or
graffiti, or health hazards. Maybe a street light burns all day, or is burned out at night. YOU call it in. Don’t wait for somebody else to.
Next time you’re at the grocery store, thank the clerk for feeding you.
How often do they hear that?
I’ve already admitted that my OP was poorly stated. I really didn’t mean for it to sound like that because that’s not what I meant.
Excellent post, stoid. Thanks! Also, for the people who keep saying alcoholics commonly kill others: agreed, but that’s not what I’m talking about; just the damages occurring to the individual involved. Interesting, though.
We live about four hours from each other, unfortunately; however I currently do all of those things except thanking the clerk for “feeding” me. That seems odd.