# What have you always wanted to ask God? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 1999, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396 "1999-11-21T20:50:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![counterattackii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/41988e/32.png) [@counterattackii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/counterattackii)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/1 "1999-11-21T20:50:00Z")
I have pondered this question many times, but I always wondered what other people would ask. I always wondered what would happen if I asked God how old he is. Probably go something like this: ‘Hey God, how old are you?’ “I am eternal…” ‘(pointing finger)You don’t KNOW, DO YOU?’ “I KNOW EVERYTHING, I’M GOD, REMEMBER? Now off to Hell with you…” Ok, so maybe it wouldn’t be a good thing to ask. But I think you get my point… ---
**Author:** ![Welfy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e56c9b/32.png) [@Welfy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Welfy)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/2 "1999-11-21T20:54:00Z")
No c&p I’d ask Him if Heaven is really as wonderful as they say it is. * * * Welfy I wonder what the king is doing tonight? ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/3 "1999-11-21T20:59:00Z")
I’d like to ask Him why He didn’t consult me before He created the Universe. Had He done so, I would have told Him to do it right or don’t bother. But Noooo… * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/4 "1999-11-21T21:13:00Z")
I’d ask Him,"Why did ya send Satan(sdmb) down here,he belongs up there"awwww. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/5 "1999-11-21T21:49:00Z")
Well among others things , I would ask why my ass is built so close to the ground. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/6 "1999-11-21T23:07:00Z")
It took a god six days to build this ? For an all-powerful god you took your sweet time at it. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/7 "1999-11-21T23:17:00Z")
I think He sub-contracted the job out, and it shows. Lousy workmanship. * * * This space for rent. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/8 "1999-11-21T23:19:00Z")
Tastes great or less filling? ---
**Author:** ![The\_LION](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e7dd6/32.png) [@The\_LION](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_LION)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/9 "1999-11-21T23:34:00Z")
The Duckbill Platypus = left over spare parts ? ---
**Author:** ![NonTarheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/edb3f5/32.png) [@NonTarheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NonTarheel)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/10 "1999-11-21T23:39:00Z")
Why did you put Adam and Eve in that garden when you knew what they’d do? How do you decide which prayers to answer? What does the Voynich cypher say? Did Walter Payton really block that field goal against the Packers a couple weeks ago? If I go on _Who Wants to be a Millionaire_, can I use you as a lifeline? ---
**Author:** ![dasmoocher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@dasmoocher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dasmoocher)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 1999, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/11 "1999-11-21T23:46:00Z")
Give Neil Donald Walsch a call; he talks to God all the time. Anybody have some opinions on his “Conversations with God” books? He used to be a fuck-up and now is a NY Times best-selling author. God answered his prayers. Maybe God has already given him some of the answers you seek. Maybe God can tell all of us how to make such easy money… ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/12 "1999-11-22T00:09:00Z")
“What if you were one of us? Just a slob like one of us? Just a stranger on the bus, Trying to make your way home?” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/13 "1999-11-22T01:26:00Z")
“That book of yours. It was ghostwritten, wasn’t it. Come on, be honest!” Or “What’s with all this premature death business? Way to make people believe in you, ya dickhead!” * * * -PIGEONMAN- Hero For A New Millennium! [The Legend Of PigeonMan](http://www.hotkey.net.au/~guanolad/pigeonman/) - updates every Wed & Sat ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/14 "1999-11-22T01:51:00Z")
Where’s my car keys? Enright3 ---
**Author:** ![MrKnowItAll](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrknowitall/32/87_2.png) [@MrKnowItAll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrKnowItAll)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/15 "1999-11-22T02:44:00Z")
I wouldn’t ask him anything. I try not to talk to myself too much. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/16 "1999-11-22T02:47:00Z")
If you wanted to go around giving land to people, why didn’t you make enough of it so that they wouldn’t have to slaughter each other for thousands of years over it. Or maybe – What kind of an egotistical and mal-adjusted omnipotence actually demands the worship and obedience of creatures as limited as humans. Don’t you have better things to do? Or even – How can you possibly justify an eternity of either suffering or ecstasy for the acts of a single human lifetime. That’s analagous to deciding a human being’s lifetime fate based upon the millisecond of thought he had at 1440:13:44 last Thursday. but probably – What kind of sick trick was it to make cats’ bellies so soft and their claws so pointy? * * * - The best lack all conviction The worst are full of passionate intensity. \* ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/17 "1999-11-22T03:34:00Z")
So, Lord, what’s with the ticks? ---
**Author:** ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/18 "1999-11-22T04:03:00Z")
Whats the point ? ---
**Author:** ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/19 "1999-11-22T04:05:00Z")
And why didn’t you make computers smart enough to insert ’ where needed. ---
**Author:** ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 1999, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396/20 "1999-11-22T04:07:00Z")
And question marks ? Shit ! Time for bed. Now I lay me … [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-always-wanted-to-ask-god/11396.md?page=2)