# What have you done with UncleBeer? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [January 4, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444 "2001-01-04T19:33:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/1 "2001-01-04T19:33:55Z")
Dear **Cecil, Ed, Tuba, CKDex, Lynn:** The whole thing with **Eutychus55** was just a diversion, right? You got us all looking towards Rhode Island and wringing our hands with concern and warm feelings for **Euty,** while the REAL shit was going down in Toledo. **UncleBeer** has been missing for days. DAYS. Since the holidays, at least. You killed him, right? He did something wrong, something HORRIBLY WRONG, moved a MPSIMS thread to GQ or something, an innocent mistake, and you sneaked into his home at midnight and throttled him in his sleep, didn’t you? Where’s the body? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE BODY? Did you cut him up and mail the bits all over the country? Did you weight him down and sink him in Lake Okeechobee? Did you take up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposit all between the scantlings? You didn’t…eat him, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/2 "2001-01-04T19:38:06Z")
( **waterj2** was right…this Forum needs some livening up. Consider the above my little contribution.) ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/3 "2001-01-04T21:43:12Z")
Dunno, **Ike** , mebbe they tossed the body in the woodchipper. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/4 "2001-01-04T21:47:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > **…Did you weight him down and sink him in Lake Okeechobee…** Eek! Criminy, with all the algae blooms, pesticides, gators and fertilizer in that lake, we’ll never find him!!! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/5 "2001-01-04T22:38:09Z")
All right. I confess. I kidnapped him. I’m keeping him here in New Jersey as a combination houseboy/love slave. My computer is password-protected so he hasn’t been able to log on and post a plea for rescue. I’ll bring him to the dopefest this weekend. I promise. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/6 "2001-01-04T22:43:32Z")
I respectfully decline to answer, on grounds of the 18th Amendment. ---
**Author:** ![Primaflora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Primaflora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Primaflora)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/7 "2001-01-04T22:48:57Z")
I heard that a sdorgi went horribly horribly wrong… ---
**Author:** ![Clairmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Clairmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clairmont)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/8 "2001-01-04T23:49:19Z")
He’s not dead. He’s pumping gas in Paskatula with Elvis. Last I heard, he was on the afternoon shift. Yer welcome. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/9 "2001-01-04T23:49:43Z")
Actually, I believe he’s had some computer problems. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/10 "2001-01-05T00:36:31Z")
Naw, nothing like that. The simple fact is that he got drunk. Unfortunately for him, he got drunk in that Douglas Adams’ glass of water kind of way. He was delicious, and he slaked all our thirsts. He’ll be back in a few days under his new moniker, **UnclePee**. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/11 "2001-01-05T03:47:38Z")
Damn, _good one_, Manny! I was gonna claim we kidnapped him for re-programming as a flaming liberal, but that just can’t compete with “Uncle Pee”. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/12 "2001-01-05T04:38:53Z")
Yeah, yuk it up, you two, while you can. Any one of you could be next. Although I’ve got a five-spot that says it’ll be that **Winkelried** fella. Y’know, **manny’s** explanation is pretty darned convincing. **Unc** was tall. He was cool. Some might even have found him refreshing. And, **beatle,** if you’ve got nothing better to do than engage in that sort of ridiculous conjecture… Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and put my head into this bucket so I can laugh heartily at “ **UnclePee** ” without breaking character. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/13 "2001-01-05T05:32:17Z")
**Ukulele Ike** said: > [@](#): > > Although I’ve got a five-spot that says it’ll be that Winkelried fella. So that would be **UnclePee & Noodles** …which would be a hell of a good band name. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_Bowe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df788c/32.png) [@Doug\_Bowe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_Bowe)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/14 "2001-01-05T05:56:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by C K Dexter Haven \* > \*\*I respectfully decline to answer, on grounds of the 18th Amendment. \*\* –Afraid you’d get too tipsy if you took a fifth? ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/15 "2001-01-05T10:11:40Z")
I heard that he and his sister, **AuntieGin** , both went down to Florida to visit their father **GrampappyZima** and his new girlfriend, **AnnaNicoleSmith**. He should be back in a few days, after making one stop on the way home to see his mistress, **Booziebabe**. Chill, people. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/16 "2001-01-05T11:40:53Z")
[sub][sup]Help![/sup][/sub] Oh, _shit_… cough **cough** COUGH…Hey kids, it’s your friend **Coldfire** here. That sound’s just the bad plumbing we’ve got here. Now get away from that basement door, dammit. [Edited by Coldfire on 01-05-2001 at 06:04 AM] ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/17 "2001-01-05T19:15:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > **…and his new girlfriend, AnnaNicoleSmith…** I didn’t know he was **that** old. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/18 "2001-01-05T23:56:11Z")
I saw him! I saw [UncleBeer](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=54066)!! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/19 "2001-01-06T11:26:16Z")
'Beer!! (Or 'Pee, I don’t care…) Come back! There’s a Gun Control thread that needs your unique level of… uh… y’know, yelling and stuff! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444/20 "2001-01-06T16:21:25Z")
UnclePee! :D:D:D **manhattan** , you’ve once again outdone yourself. Thank you for your concern **Ukulele Ike** , old pal. I’m still alive too, but starting a new job has cut into my SDMB time (still trying to create that crucial good first impression). It is to be hoped that the new DSL line scheduled to arrive at my house in the next few weeks will allow me for more productive and fruitful visits here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-done-with-unclebeer/48444.md?page=2)