# What have you learned about yourself, thanks to COVID-19? Humorous answers only please. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2020, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468 "2020-05-09T13:33:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FollowMeDown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6a8cbe/32.png) [@FollowMeDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FollowMeDown)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/41 "2020-05-12T06:53:11Z")
I’ve learned that although a good portion of my life focused on friends and social gatherings that I’m more happy without those things. Everything quickly fell into focus for me. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/42 "2020-05-12T07:04:45Z")
I learned that hard-core ex-convicts really can cut hair and they will do it for $10 and do it quite quit well as long as you listen to their horrific stories and don’t rat them out. I have had two of these black-market stylists now (both male) and they are a lot more interesting than the Sports Clip women and way cheaper. I think it is a viable business model. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/43 "2020-05-12T07:08:27Z")
It’s true, John Wayne toilet paper really does not take any shit. Just like the Duke, himself. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/44 "2020-05-12T12:14:36Z")
> [@Esprise\_Me](#): > > I learned that I’m a big dumb idiot. All this time I thought I knew what Scotch was and why I liked it better than other whiskys (and certainly better than whiskeys). It’s the peat! Which is, I dunno, like moss? And they burn it to dry the barley and that gives it that smoky, earthy richness that other fuels used in other countries don’t impart. Right? > > Welp. I’ve wanted to go to Scotland and tour some distilleries, but with travel on hold indefinitely I decided to order a bunch of different Scotches and have a little taste-test at home. I made sure to get a nice variety from different regions. I had a bottle of the Glenlivet 12-year already (Speyside), and I bought a bottle of the Macallan 12-year (another Speyside, twice the price of the Glenlivet but what I’ve long considered my favorite), a bottle of Highland Park 12-year (from Orkney, officially part of the Highlands but unofficially designated as one of the islands), Glenmorangie 10-year (north Highlands), and Laphroaig (Islay). I’d had them all before, but never side-by-side. > > I drank while Googling. And I learned that, actually, since the 1960s, most Scotches have been made without peat, including some of my favorites. It’s surprisingly hard to get a straight answer on this, but it appears that, out of my current collection, only the Highland Park and Laphroaig are peated! I cannot for the life of me find a source on the fuel the other distilleries use, although it appears most of them don’t dry their own barley. (Highland Park does and they’re very proud of it.) > > Oh, and peat isn’t the pond scum I was picturing; it’s basically dirt. A specific type of dirt–vegetable matter decayed over thousands of years compressed into sod that can be cut into bricks and burned like coal. But yeah. I’m an id10t. I wondered, do I even legitimately prefer Scotch, or have I just convinced myself I do? > > I decided to pick up a bottle of Irish whiskey to see how it stacked up. I’ve had several over the years, though again, never side-by-side for a proper comparison. I got Jameson because it was what they had at the store, knowing that might not be a fair fight against all these whiskys that have had a decade or more to mellow (I believe Jameson is only aged 4 years.) I sipped the Jameson in turn with my unpeated Scotches and tasted… something different. It was sharper, of course, as one might expect a cheaper liquor to be, but beyond that there was a…sweetness? Back to the internet. Irish whiskey is triple-distilled while Scotch is generally only distilled twice, but that probably wasn’t it. Jameson and other Irish whiskeys traditionally dried their barley over coal but now use natural gas, which is probably what those cagey mainland Scotch distilleries use. Here’s something, though: Jameson (and probably other Irish distilleries) uses a mix of malted and green barley, as well as some other unspecified grains that might be corn, wheat, and/or rye. Scotch uses only malted barley. The hint of sweetness in Jameson is rather reminiscent of Bourbon, which of course is also made from corn. > > So it turns out my love of peat is perhaps really a love of pure malted barley. Though I do enjoy the two peaty bottles I have, I also like the unpeated Scotches, with all their subtle flavors. Ignorance (and sobriety) fought! [stern mommy voice] If you’re going to drink in front of us, I hope you brought enough for everybody! [/stern mommy voice] ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/45 "2020-05-12T13:02:35Z")
Even though I’m still working full time hours and my wife and I are also running our business, not having anything to do or anyplace to go in our spare time lead us to a new experience: The boredom boink. It’s in addition to regular romps and just as good. Who needs to go out to dinner, wine tasting, the movies, or a bar anyway? Long live the lockdown! 😃 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/46 "2020-05-12T14:40:32Z")
Whatever it was I used to do after work every day was invaluable to my mental health! I work from home already, always have. I live alone with my dogs. Basically quarantine already right? Turns out all the little mundane things I used to do during the week - shopping, dog park, gym, doctor appointments, meetings - were a big part of my life and I miss them. I actually had to take a day off work last week to get my shit together, because just working and doing nothing else was driving me nuts. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/47 "2020-05-12T14:58:36Z")
I learned that when I retire, I can easily occupy myself for hours on end with my power tools and various types of lumber. Made a couple end tables for the new deck, I now have orders for 12 more. Don’t know when I will make them, I had to return to work a few weeks ago. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/48 "2020-05-12T15:37:51Z")
I found that my 13 year-old with a $30 clippers and a youtube video can give me a haircut that matches the ones I pay $25 for at SportsClips. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/49 "2020-05-12T18:10:15Z")
Shaving your head means you never have to worry about Supercuts. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/50 "2020-05-12T18:56:12Z")
That shaving my beard into a goatee makes me look like **silenus**. (I grew it back.)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/51 "2020-05-12T20:25:21Z")
I’ve learned that as charming as those Tiny House shows are, I’m really, really glad we do not live in one. I’ve learned that staying home full-time can lead to much higher grocery bills (well, at least at first as we stocked up what we could) that more than offset the lower restaurant bills. I’ve learned that 4 people home 24/7 poses such a load of dishes that we need to run the dishwasher 2 times, sometimes 3, every 24 hours. I’ve learned I’ve got a bit of food anxiety going on - to the point where we’ve jam-paced the fridge freezer and the spare in the basement and I’m eyeing how to make room for another in the garage! I’ve learned that I could easily go a week without leaving the house - and now that I’m supposed to do just that, I WANNA GO OUT. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/52 "2020-05-12T21:02:53Z")
I learned I was just looking for an excuse to grow my hair. Maybe I will keep it long. (Is there an age limit for men having long hair - without being weird?) ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/53 "2020-05-13T00:32:10Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Shaving your head means you never have to worry about Supercuts. I. Am. So. TEMPTED! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/54 "2020-05-13T00:44:11Z")
First-timer advice: Take it down all over with a beard trimmer. Get as close as you can. Then take it down to skin with a Mach 3 or Fusion razor. Short strokes in multiple directions until smooth. Apply lotion. Repeat as necessary. I shave my head 3 times a week in the shower using a razor and gel from Harry’s. No muss, no fuss. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/55 "2020-05-13T00:51:20Z")
I’ve found hiding from all the people noise with my headphones on and music blaring gives me the worst headache, evah! Oh, to be young enough that loud music wouldn’t bother me. I learned that hair in the bathtub drains is my job. These losers will not do it. There’s lots of hair in this house. I’ve learned that little boys do not ever flush. I’ve learned that laundry day can be 3 days too long. The cats like it tho’. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/56 "2020-05-13T00:58:25Z")
> [@Author\_Balk](#): > > I learned I was just looking for an excuse to grow my hair. Maybe I will keep it long. (Is there an age limit for men having long hair - without being weird?) The limit is not age; it’s amount of baldness. Baldness and long hair do NOT go well together. I discovered this at age 37. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/57 "2020-05-13T01:12:45Z")
> [@Author\_Balk](#): > > I learned I was just looking for an excuse to grow my hair. Maybe I will keep it long. (Is there an age limit for men having long hair - without being weird?) I’m gonna end up with a pony tail. I’m 59. Fuck it. Least of my concerns. Otherwise, I just work from home now and don’t put 50 miles on my car every day. :shrug: We are already isolated naturally. Rarely go out to eat or bars. We play more chess and cards now and oddly watch less TV. Get up WAY before the sun (better internet speed and using extra early hour data allowance), work, eat, walk dogs, play cards or chess read a bit and go to bed. Not much of a change really. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468/58 "2020-05-13T02:37:04Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > I’m gonna end up with a pony tail. I’m 59. Fuck it. Least of my concerns. Same age, and I had a pony tail up until about a year ago. I haven’t had a haircut since, and it’s growing back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-have-you-learned-about-yourself-thanks-to-covid-19-humorous-answers-only-please/853468.md?page=2)