# What I don't get about Spam **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 30, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804 "2004-01-30T19:18:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/21 "2004-01-31T04:51:00Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Spam is the ultimate Uncultured Pop Culture reference. It is barely food, it resembles something you’d feed to convicts, sailors, or other less-than-savory types, and it’s sold with absolutely crappy marketing that reminds people of just how hollow the whole Universe really is. My, how pretentious. It is quite possible that if I had been raised in a wealthy family, I would have never tasted Spam. As it is, I was not, and the recipe I posted above serves as an occasional comfort food for me. So, fuck off. And my understanding of the ubiquity of Spam, enough to rate it a high spot in Monty Python, is that during WWII, it was a cheap meat. Very understandably a cheap meat, though if you look at the price on the market shelves these days, I doubt if it’s as bad as it used to be. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/22 "2004-01-31T04:54:41Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > Are there really people out there that are that abysmally witless…? Yes, of course; there are boatloads of such people out there; and **that** is the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/23 "2004-01-31T05:15:14Z")
Oh, come on, **This Year’s Model**. Spam is an unsettling shade of pink and comes in a tin with creepy gelatinous goo filling all its concavities. It’s funny because its so repellent. The humour of that Python sketch is based on the absurdity of such an unappealling substance featuring so prominently (or, indeed, at _all_,) on the menu of a public eatery. The punchline is that the bloke is not only negligent in being properly and naturally repulsed by the available fare, but he’s actively _enthusiastic_ about Spam, which is contrary to every expectation. Don’t be so sensitive. Spam will always be the butt of jokes. It has intrinsic comedic value. Heck, “I’m pink, therefore I’m Spam” was probably the first virulent .sig line, back in the dimly remembered 1970s. The value of Spam is entirely in its potential for provoking ironic laughter. You’re not _supposed_ to eat it. But don’t make fun of my Backstreet Boys CDs. They’ve gotten me through some hard times. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/24 "2004-01-31T05:27:06Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Don’t be so sensitive. Spam will always be the butt of jokes. It has intrinsic comedic value. Yes, of course. I don’t believe I was responding to a joke. Could be wrong. You listen to your Backstreet Boys albums? You’re not supposed to _listen_ to them. They’re supposed to be window dressing for the young ladies. Creepy gelatinous goo, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/25 "2004-01-31T05:33:50Z")
I can’t find a link right now and I don’t have a lot of time to search for it, but there was a case sometime during the past year when a big spamming outfit’s records were somehow briefly made public (I’m a little hazy on the specifics; maybe someone else can find a link). In part, this meant that a list of the customers who had bought their penis-enlargement product came to light; included among the people who had bought their product was the CEO of a $6 billion Wall Street firm, as I recall. I don’t think the firm or the person were identified specifically, but jesus, you’d think a guy in charge of that much money would have better sense. Yeah, people are fucking idiots. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/26 "2004-01-31T05:41:55Z")
> [@Binarydrone](#): > > As I understand it, email programs like outlook can report back to the sender when an email is opened. This is how they can tell if a message has reached a live account (and why I leave my preview pane off). So, they then sell the address. It may be that the gibberish spams are more for email harvesting to sell to companies capable of using the English language. That’s called a “return receipt”, and the e-mail program _should_ ask you if you want to send back a receipt when one is requested. (Some programs will have you sending back receipts by default. I consider that a bad thing.) All that receipt is, is just an automatically-crafted e-mail saying that you have read the original e-mail. My guess is that, since the receipt is automatically formatted to be sent back to the accompanying return address, and since that address is almost always a fake one, the receipts–if any are requested–usually end up in limbo. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/27 "2004-01-31T06:08:49Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Don’t be so sensitive. Spam will always be the butt of jokes. It has intrinsic comedic value. Well Larry, you (and the others) can make fun of Spam as much as you want. Enjoy yourself. But they still make & sell 435 cans a minute, 626,000 cans a day. So it seems like _a whole lot_ of people are buying & eating it. Certainly a lot more than read the postings on this board. And my friends who work at the plant in Austin, Mn, and the farmers who raise the pigs for Hormel, are quite glad that there are so many satisfied Spam customers around the world. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/28 "2004-01-31T07:31:32Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > You listen to your Backstreet Boys albums? You’re not supposed to _listen_ to them. Um, “whoosh?” SPAM L’ORANGE[ul][li]1 tin _SPAM_, diced[_]1 box KRAFT DINNER[_]1 tin _SPAM_, diced[_]1/4 cup TANG crystals.[_]1 tin _SPAM_, diced[/ul]Prepare _KRAFT DINNER_ according to directions. Toss with _SPAM_, _TANG_ crystals, _SPAM_, and _SPAM_. Transfer to a plastic container and microwave for three minutes. Let cool long enough for connective tissues to bind the casserole, (about two minutes.) [/li] Enjoy! **[t-bonham@scc.net](mailto:t-bonham@scc.net)**, the quiet shade of H.L. Mencken has a message for you… I’ve almost got it… it’s coming… No, he’s left in despair. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/29 "2004-01-31T08:29:23Z")
And who does respond? Are they people who’ve just got an email address for the first time and say “WOW! My first email offers to enlarge my penis. The internet is COOL; I am SO lucky!”? Or people who say “Hey, this looks so much more convincing than the last 500 badly spelled implausible obvious scams I got, let’s give it a whirl!” ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/30 "2004-01-31T08:37:30Z")
> [@Shade](#): > > And who does respond? You want an honest answer? For the penis enlargement spams, men. We’re all wrapped up in penis size and are all convinced ours is way smaller than it should be (though the only penises we see are the giant, deformed ones that lurk in porn), so if something is promising us three extra inches, well, $50 isn’t too much. And it can’t hurt, can it? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/31 "2004-01-31T08:40:46Z")
During my years in Hawaii (military service, 1980’s, for those of you playing at home), I learned that Spam is indeed a very popular meat, due largely to the fact that _circa_ WWII, and the associated economic recovery from its effects, it bore the two advantages of cheapness, and ready availability. What is true for one island community in the throes of social displacement and economic privation may well be true of another. I tend to favor the circumstances surrounding WWII and the immediate postwar era as carrying the seed that eventually grew up to be “The Spam Sketch.” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/32 "2004-01-31T08:55:49Z")
**SkipMagic** , instead of legit receipt-requests, spammers use “web-bugs.” Basically, just HTML code for a non-existent 1X1 pixel .gif image with a unique name linked to your e-mail address. It doesn’t show up in the message, but if you read it, their server logs show a request to serve up “peniscream2342\_yourname\_yourserver.gif”, and they can refer to that to see who opens the spam. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/33 "2004-01-31T10:34:25Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > And my friends who work at the plant in Austin, Mn, and the farmers who raise the pigs for Hormel, are quite glad that there are so many satisfied Spam customers around the world. And the people who make cardboard boxes for Hormel to ship SPAM in. _points at self_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/34 "2004-01-31T10:50:08Z")
It seems to me sooner or later somebody is going to write a spam filter that rejects words like hgfdzgfdx839468 that appear so frequently in the subject line and/or message body. How hard could that be? ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/35 "2004-01-31T12:15:12Z")
> [@cityboy916](#): > > It seems to me sooner or later somebody is going to write a spam filter that rejects words like hgfdzgfdx839468 that appear so frequently in the subject line and/or message body. How hard could that be? What about legitimate e-mails with titles such as “Shipment FDX14416-gc has been dispatched”? Anyway, the spammers would just switch to random but valid words instead of gibberish, indeed they already are . ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/36 "2004-01-31T13:30:56Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > I can’t find a link right now and I don’t have a lot of time to search for it, but there was a case sometime during the past year when a big spamming outfit’s records were somehow briefly made public Are you talking about this article? [Swollen Orders Show Spam’s Allure](http://www.wired.com/news/business/0,1367,59907,00.html) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/37 "2004-01-31T14:07:23Z")
> [@cityboy916](#): > > It seems to me sooner or later somebody is going to write a spam filter that rejects words like hgfdzgfdx839468 that appear so frequently in the subject line and/or message body. How hard could that be? You certainly can write a filter that uses a dictionary lookup. If N% of all words in a message do NOT appear in the dictionary, it may be spam. Then the spammers will (and already do) insert real, in-the-dictionary words randomly generated, like “flood paper big picture faucet class topic dog cat fax coffee…” which will slip thru the nonsense filter. What is really needed is a program that thinks like a human – sort of a super-Liza. Most people have no trouble identifying spam with a quick glance – “I know it when I see it”. But AI (artificial intelligence), as advanced as it is, isn’t quite there yet. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/38 "2004-01-31T14:16:54Z")
From the Wired news article in **scr4’s** above post: > [@](#): > > The Federal Trade Commission said there is no proof that the pills work as advertised. But the FTC does not have the resources to press a case against such companies, according to spokesman Richard Cleland. There’s the problem. A multi-million-dollar business with fraud written all over it, violating dozens of laws, isn’t important enough to put an FTC agent on it. One wonders just what kind of industry they ARE investigating. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/39 "2004-01-31T16:41:08Z")
Actually, I bet those pills probably DO make your penis bigger. Of course, it would also have turned green and black and be oozing pus everywhere… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/40 "2004-01-31T16:48:15Z")
> [@BlackKnight](#): > > And the people who make cardboard boxes for Hormel to ship SPAM in. _points at self_ > 😃 Milhouse: Do any of these boxes hold any candy? BlackKnight: No. They hold Spam. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804.md?page=3)