# What I don't get about Spam **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 30, 2004, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804 "2004-01-30T19:18:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/41 "2004-01-31T18:15:44Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > What is really needed is a program that thinks like a human – sort of a super-Liza. Most people have no trouble identifying spam with a quick glance – “I know it when I see it”. But AI (artificial intelligence), as advanced as it is, isn’t quite there yet. Being a programmer myself, I can appreciate the challenges in designing an AI that will correctly filter these messages. But to date, every spam message I have seen contains these nonsense character strings in the message body, that clearly do not abide by either the relative frequency of letters nor the allowed combinations of letter pairs in English or any other language. They should be easy to filter out without the need for a dictionary lookup. **Usram** , in theory it is possible to distinguish order numbers or part numbers from spam gibberish. (Humans do it. 🙂 ) With or without random words, there is always this gibberish, no? Are you saying that some of the newest spams do not contain any gibberish at all? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Ximenean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/aca169/32.png) [@Ximenean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ximenean)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/42 "2004-01-31T18:59:48Z")
> [@cityboy916](#): > > Are you saying that some of the newest spams do not contain any gibberish at all? 😕 That’s what I’m saying. Ironically, looking through my spam folder the only words that are misspelt in these e-mails are the ones that are part of their actual message (“V1g@ra” and so on). Of course, adaptive spam filters already deal with such obfuscation effectively. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2004, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/43 "2004-01-31T19:54:46Z")
**Cityboy916,** some spams contain gibberish. Some contain random words. Some use other techniques, all with the intended purpose of getting past the filters, the first generation of which only checked for key words or the number of exclamation marks in a row (I’ve learned not to send email to my friends with double !'s as they often get trapped by the simpliest filters.) So some get thru. Spam filters improve, the spammers try something else. They more tries, the more likely success. It’s a scattershot approach and one which lends itself well to a server spewing emails at max speed 24/7. As for writing a filter that can distinguish between legitimate part numbers and real gibberish, as a programmer yourself, you must know this is more of an art than a science. And even if you were 99.99% successful, don’t you think the spammers would try to emulate real orders, invoices and part numbers? Then the number of false positives would likely increase – this is the flip side of the problem. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/44 "2004-02-01T00:28:21Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > My, how pretentious. It is quite possible that if I had been raised in a wealthy family, I would have never tasted Spam. As it is, I was not, and the recipe I posted above serves as an occasional comfort food for me. So, fuck off. Oh, I forgot. Some people don’t `get’ jokes, do they? I shall endeavor to keep my posts entirely free of humor, lest I offend someone for whom the very idea of sarcasm is repugnant, and for whom irony is what one obtains from an irony ore mine. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/45 "2004-02-01T00:38:05Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > **litost** , “Spam” (the Hormel product) is a contraction of “Spiced Ham”, which is a generous way of describing the mechanically separated and formed pig meat that is Spam. It’s “spiced” with salt, sugar, and nitrates. Mmmmm. So why isn’t there a “Speef”, a “Spicken”, or a “Spurkey”? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/46 "2004-02-01T01:25:51Z")
Spam imitators never seem to fare well. I remember seeing “Spork” (“Spiced pork”, natch) and “Prem” ("Pressed meat. Mmmmm) but they never achieved market saturation. I guess imitation Spam is too depressing a concept. No matter what you call it, it’s still going to taste like defeat. Hey, maybe we should have a less-gelatinous Spam for health-conscious types. “DEFatted mEAT.” Brainstorm! ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/47 "2004-02-01T02:22:04Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > So why isn’t there a “Speef”, a “Spicken”, or a “Spurkey”? There is. SPAM Light is basically spiced turkey, as can be seen from the ingredients on the side of the can. P.S. You might want to see Cecil’s column on this: [We’ve been having a heated discussion in the office, and we need to know how Spam luncheon meat is really made. Also, how come they never released a chicken or turkey version (i.e., Spurkey or Spicken)? Finally, what is Monty Python’s true relationship with Spam?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_229.html) ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/48 "2004-02-01T03:50:53Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Oh, I forgot. Some people don’t `get’ jokes, do they? I shall endeavor to keep my posts entirely free of humor, lest I offend someone for whom the very idea of sarcasm is repugnant, and for whom irony is what one obtains from an irony ore mine. OK, I keep forgetting the many people on here who attempt to commit sarcasm when they wouldn’t be capable of it if you primed them with the collected works of Mark Twain _and_ and MST3K marathon. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/49 "2004-02-01T04:49:06Z")
This is first thread that I’ve ever seen in which a discussion of the scourge of e-mail spam actually veered off into a argument over the merits of the pink meaty variety of SPAM… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![litost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@litost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/litost)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/50 "2004-02-01T04:56:35Z")
So, you just put your fork in and start eating away? Spiced slices of pink meat… I wouldn’t get the courage. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/51 "2004-02-01T05:04:58Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Spam imitators never seem to fare well. I remember seeing “Spork” (“Spiced pork”, natch) and “Prem” ("Pressed meat. Mmmmm) but they never achieved market saturation. I guess imitation Spam is too depressing a concept. No matter what you call it, it’s still going to taste like defeat. I have seen “Treet”, a Spam knock-off, in many stores in this area. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/52 "2004-02-01T06:58:51Z")
> [@fluiddruid](#): > > I have seen “Treet”, a Spam knock-off, in many stores in this area. And don’t forget delicious [Armour Potted Meat Food Product](http://www.dialcorp.com/index.cfm?page_id=125)! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/53 "2004-02-01T07:13:20Z")
Heh. “What is home without Plumtree’s Potted Meat? Incomplete! With it, an abode of bliss.” Yeah, it always comes back to Joyce for me. It’s a sickness, I tell ya. ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/54 "2004-02-01T20:48:19Z")
You guys make me miss my 5 inch drive, and all my Infocom games. I had Beyond Zork, one about scuba diving and salvage, Infidel, and a couple others. That was the same time I was playing Bard’s Tale and a very early Indiana Jones game, I think it was Last Crusade. It was an early entry in the great field of “trial and error gaming”. Man, I jumped on the nerd train EARLY! I only turned 19 two days ago! LC ---
**Author:** ![Lucki\_Chaarms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de0a6/32.png) [@Lucki\_Chaarms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucki_Chaarms)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/55 "2004-02-01T20:57:59Z")
Ah, wrong thread. This is why other boards let you delete posts… ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/56 "2004-02-01T20:59:10Z")
You are standing in an unfamiliar thread. Above you, there is a complaint about unsolicitated mail that has degenerated into a catfight about mechanically separated meat products. To your right, there is a “Forum Jump” drop-down dialogue. What do you want to do? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/57 "2004-02-01T21:21:22Z")
Heh. You are in a thread of twisted messages, all bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/58 "2004-02-01T21:32:22Z")
What do you want to do? \>eat the spam You can’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/59 "2004-02-01T21:57:04Z")
What do you want to do? \>open spam Your penis enlarges. You keep tripping over it and cannot move. You are attacked by lust-maddened grues and cannot escape. Restart, restore or undo? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2004, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804/60 "2004-02-01T22:14:31Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > What do you want to do? > > \>eat the spam > > You can’t do that. Hmm, I just found an interesting feature of IE. If you are scrolling through messages with your mouse over the scroll bar, and the left mouse button is down, and you read a message that makes you laugh so hard that you start shaking, the thread starts scrolling up and down in a really weird way. It’s pretty cool. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-dont-get-about-spam/226804.md?page=4)