What I don't get about Spam

[Mama_Tiger]

When I was a kid and we’d go camping, my mom would fix pan-fried Spam and Cream of Wheat for breakfast. I guess all that fresh air made me hungry; I remember it being downright tasty.

And Spam is practically the national food of Guam. Papa Tiger has a 277-page Spam cookbook (Great Classic Spam[sup]®[/sup] Recipes of the World, by Dorothy Horn), that includes ten Spam[sup]®[/sup] recipes from a variety of countries (heavy on the Pacific islands, but there are some surprise entries) such as:

Australia (Creamed Spam[sup]®[/sup] with Mashed Potatoes)
Austria (Viennese Spam[sup]®[/sup] soup)
Belgium (Spam[sup]®[/sup] in red wine)
Brazil (Stewed Spam[sup]®[/sup] with onions and raising)
Canada (Canadian Spam[sup]®[/sup] pepper pot)
China (Sweet and Sour Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Denmark (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Barley Stew)
England (English Pub Spam[sup]®[/sup] with Mustard Sauce)
Phillippines (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Pancit Canton)
France (Braised Sirloin of Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Germany (Sauerkraut and Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Greece (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Moussaka)
Guam (Spam[sup]®[/sup]Keleguen)
Hawaii (Hawaiian Spam[sup]®[/sup] Stuffed Pepper)
Holland (Flamed Mustard Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Hong Kong (Home Made Spam[sup]®[/sup] Snake Soup)
Hungary (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Hungarian Goulash)
India (Thick Spam[sup]®[/sup] Mulligatawny)
Indonesia (Squid Stuffed with Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Ireland (Boozy Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Italy (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Minestrone Soup)
Japan (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Yakitori)
Korea (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Bulgogi)
Majuro (Marinated Spam[sup]®[/sup] Broil)
Mexico (Huevos Rancheros with Spam[sup]®[/sup])
New Zealand (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Stuffed Eggs)
Palau (Spam[sup]®[/sup] on a Stick)
Poland (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Polish Goulash)
Portugal (Spam [sup]®[/sup] and Lobster)
Rotan (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Quiche)
Romania (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Vinaigrette)
Russia (Spam[sup]®[/sup] and Caviar)
Saipan (Spam[sup]®[/sup] with Coconut)
Scotland (Spam[sup]®[/sup] STyle Bubble and Squeak)
Singapore (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Stuffed Bean Cake)
Sri Lanka (Spam[sup]®[/sup] with Mango)
Solomon Islands (Yam Spam[sup]®[/sup] Balls)
Spain (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Stuffed Artichokes)
Sweden (Marinated Spam[sup]®[/sup] Slices)
Switzerland (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Fondue)
Tahiti (Spam[sup]®[/sup] and Cheese Casserole)
Taiwan (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Lion’s Head)
Thailand (Gingered Thai Spam[sup]®[/sup])
Truk (Trukesse Oriental Spam[sup]®[/sup] )
Turkey (Leek and Spam[sup]®[/sup] Soup)
United States (Spam[sup]®[/sup] Chateaubriand)
Vietnam (Vietnamese Spam[sup]®[/sup] Noodle Soup)
Virgin Islands (Spam[sup]®[/sup] with Sweet Potato)
West Africa (Okra and Spam[sup]®[/sup])
and, last but not least,
Yap Island (Yapese Creole Style Spam[sup]®[/sup])

Mind you, this has nothing to do with the topic of crap emails, but I figured it was good for entertainment value. And I have to admit to never having actually looked at the recipe index in this cookbook before. Mind you, this was only one out of ten entries for each country. The mind boggles… :eek:

[sturmhauke]

@Jenaroph

What do you want to do?

>eat the spam

You can’t do that.

>why can’t i eat the spam?

I’m certainly not going to tell thou.

@Mama Tiger

Phillippines (Spam® Pancit Canton)

:eek: EWW! :sturmhauke runs away screaming:

[Eats_Crayons]

@Binarydrone

As I understand it, email programs like outlook can report back to the sender when an email is opened. This is how they can tell if a message has reached a live account (and why I leave my preview pane off).

I accidentally opened a spam message when I was selecting it to delete it. I did notice that this HTML coded message also had a referrer type of tag in the image links.

So the very act of previewing the message would show in their stats that the image was viewed, thereby confirming your address.

I also have my preview pane disabled.

[GorillaMan]

I just examined the code of a whole range of spam emails in my trash, and couldn’t find a single one with an image tag as described.

I did find this imaginative attempt to get around the filters (which still didn’t fool Mozilla):

Shop ‘n Save Warehouse Foods Inc. has agreed to install new digitalbillboard advertising screens inside its stores under a deal His company produces structural and ornamental steel for buildings. Asimilar business has been at that location since 1928. Feinstein Police have issued the e-fit as they seek the public’s help to track downthe attacker who struck last Wednesday in Elmtree Hill, Chesham.
Shop for a mortgage quickly
Visit us online here
Police have issued the e-fit as they seek the public’s help to track downthe attacker who struck last Wednesday in Elmtree Hill, Chesham. 1 From the Program in International Nutrition, Department of Nutrition, Universityof California, Davis (CM, JMP, KHB, and BL), and the Institute of Nutrition 29, 2004–K-Sea Transportation Partners LP (NYSE:KSP) announced today that it hasacquired the 140,000 barrel capacity double-hulled barge S/R New York and the
We shop for the best rates so you don’t have to!
The Boeing Co., which produces Apache helicopters in Mesa, Thursday reported netincome of $1.11 billion for the fourth quarter, or $1.37 per share, on revenue By PETER KENDRON. BLOOMSBURG The new ladder truck for the BloomsburgFire Department likely will come with a $789,000 price tag Intel moved today to bring its mobile Centrino platform into the next generation,saying it is now shipping a network connection for it that supports 802.11g
Argos (6-8, 1-2) at Westville (8-7, 0-1): This Northland Conference contest inLaPorte County is a rematch of the Dragons’ 57-53 homecourt victory on Dec. rfgtd N58zIYAxI5cuJ540OJwyIZQ1J5kzLZ89ZstwZstycsduc4BlctshNcNvZNojSJ8xL5gzIvA= But with $30 million at stake in tonight’s Super-7 draw and arctic chill grippingthe nation, the winner might warm to an escape, said a lottery spokeswoman.

[SkipMagic]

@Larry Mudd

SkipMagic, instead of legit receipt-requests, spammers use “web-bugs.”

Basically, just HTML code for a non-existent 1X1 pixel .gif image with a unique name linked to your e-mail address. It doesn’t show up in the message, but if you read it, their server logs show a request to serve up “peniscream2342_yourname_yourserver.gif”, and they can refer to that to see who opens the spam.

Interesting… I didn’t know that. Pretty smart, actually, especially with a lot of clients automatically showing HTML. Thanks for the info!

Yet another reason in a growing list as to why I have Eudora not display or read HTML.

[N.Sane]

Just how does one go about disabling the preview pane? I found where I could set the option so that it doesn’t show something as being read while in the preview pane. Does that achieve the same thing?

[Duke]

@sturmhauke

>why can’t i eat the spam?

I’m certainly not going to tell thou.

[StrongBad]YOUR HEAD A SPLODE[/StrongBad]

Great SB e-mail, that was…

[SkipMagic]

@N. Sane

Just how does one go about disabling the preview pane? I found where I could set the option so that it doesn’t show something as being read while in the preview pane. Does that achieve the same thing?

In Outlook 2002, you can click on “View | Preview Pane” and that should make it go away.

In Outlook Express: click me, click me! It also has some other security suggestions for Outlook Express.

[cowgirl]

Ooh, ooh ! This looks like just the place to share my Spam story !

So I was in Brazil with a committed vegetarian, at a beachfront seafood restaurant.

There wasn’t a thing on the menu that didn’t have fish in it. There were lots of nice things that didn’t appear to really need fish - mixed veggies on rice, etc. It was an enormous multi-page menu, and every page we turned featured more FISH ! (Yes, obviously a seafood restaurant would have lots of fish. But we were surprised that out of 6+ pages there was not a single thing without fish in it.) We amused ourselves with the Monty Python sketch which was quite topical - ‘Can I have the fish, fish, fish, spaghetti with tomato sauce and fish, but without the fish?’ and so on. Finally he found a ‘mixed salad’ that looked pretty safe.

It came to the table. You’ll never guess what it had in it.

Carrots, lettuce, baby corn.

Fish?

No. Spam.

Because that’s what people really want when they order salad at a seafood restaurant, I guess. Madness.

[Gyrate]

What do you want to do?

>name band “The Lust-Maddened Grues”

You don’t have a band.

>oh yeah

Doofus.

[PhiloVance]

@Larry Mudd

Oh, come on, This Year’s Model. Spam is an unsettling shade of pink and comes in a tin with creepy gelatinous goo filling all its concavities.

Then please explain why McDonalds in Hawaii features it. This is an old link, it’s no longer in trial. I have a son in law from Hawaii and he said it’s a favorite over there.

Get off your high horse, Mudd.

[Larry_Mudd]

What high horse? It’s just me and the pygmy pony.

The altitudinous equestrian is the one who went all-over defensive about the hyperbolic disparagment of Spam back on page one.

Pointing out that people will always make fun of Spam to the point of declaring it unfit for consumption is hardly a “high horse” position-- It’s just an observation.

Spam’s placement on the menu of some regional McDonald’s outlets doesn’t do much to improve its image, either. What the hell is your point?

“They test-marketed it to McDonald’s consumers, and it failed? Well it must be alright, then.”

Am I being ‘whooshed’, here?

[Musicat]

@Larry Mudd

What high horse? It’s just me and the pygmy pony.

Going to Montana soon?

[Larry_Mudd]

Oh yeah, the lucrative peripheral market of intradental Spam-removal is calling…

[PhiloVance]

“They test-marketed it to McDonald’s consumers, and it failed? Well it must be alright, then.”

Am I being ‘whooshed’, here?

Get over yerself dude, I don’t get here that often.

Where did I say it failed?

Check this link.

and this

and this.

Well, you get the picture. :rolleyes:

[Larry_Mudd]

Where did I say it failed?

Well, you didn’t, but nevertheless, it did.

Yeah, it’s popular in the Philippines, too. And Nikita Khrushchev once famously said that his armed forces couldn’t run without it.

I’m still not sure if I’m being ‘whooshed.’

My position: Spam is fundamentally funny, and it’s silly to be defensive about it if you happen to like it.

Are you really rebutting that (not terribly controversial, in my opinon) argument with a couple of articles that amount to “People eat Spam in Hawaii-- isn’t that hilarious?”

link

“Why do you eat Spam?” I blurted.
“Everybody eats Spam in Hawaii,” she said with a grin. She was a local named Kelley, and not only was she not offended, she was proud.
“Majorly!” her friend, Kryss, concurred.
“People back home think of it as dog food,” she said cheerfully.

[…]

According to Hormel, Hawaii consumes the most Spam luncheon meat per capita, with residents eating a whopping 5.3 cans of Spam per person last year.

Whoa! That’s like, a little over a tin every two-and-a-half months! Those cats are crazy!

link

A Spam-eating contest sponsored by Hormel? That speaks so well to the fundamental dignity of Spam, and is amply supports people who take offense at jokes at its expense.

link

SPAM was the only meat like matter many families ate for weeks on end. […] After the war, SPAM enjoyed a popularity that can explained only by the Helsinki syndrome, that paradoxical condition in which captive people come to feel affection for their captors.

[…][A Spam variant is available] with pasteurized processed American cheese chunk implants. Americans love implants, why not in our food?

Oh yeah, those links you’ve supplied have utterly convinced me that there’s nothing absurd or ironic about Spam and the fundamental perversity of human nature that ensures its continuing commercial success.

What was I thinking?

Derleth said “Spam is the ultimate Uncultured Pop Culture reference. It is barely food, it resembles something you’d feed to convicts, sailors, or other less-than-savory types, and it’s sold with absolutely crappy marketing that reminds people of just how hollow the whole Universe really is.” Humorous hyperbole. Reacting to it as though some has just said, with deadly seriousness, that people who eat Spam are convicts, sailors, or other less-than-savory types is… what is that, exactly?

Gormless? Is that too harsh a word? Humourless, certainly, and just a bit defensive.

[Lucki_Chaarms]

Philo, dude, chill out and crack yourself open a nice tall can of Spam.

My favorite variation on the “random words or characters” thing was the time that, I swear to god, I got a spam mail that included something like this.

“Thank you for reading our letter! Here is a poem for you: Yellow pants train implosion dictionary bipedal cola wax flatware erasure plug. Sticky flag bulb microphone jangle corn tupperware lobster symposium.”

Can you get much more postmodern than that? It’s randomly generated corporate poetry for the sake of fooling anti-advertising filters. My brain hurts.

LC

[Frank]

@Larry Mudd

Humourless, certainly, and just a bit defensive.

Humorless? Well, not entirely. I liked your riff on your house, though I have to admit that the idea of someone living in a place for three months and still not knowing which direction on the switches is off is inherently humorous to me. But perhaps I could come over some evening, and mock whatever you’re eating for dinner. Obviously we have different ideas about what’s funny.

Just a bit defensive? On reflection, I’ll give you that one.

And I can even get back to the OP: I got my first spam to my non-spam address today. Now I’m really irked. I’ve got to think up a new name, damnit! This one lasted almost a year.

[Larry_Mudd]

But perhaps I could come over some evening, and mock whatever you’re eating for dinner.

Hey, come on by-- shouldn’t be too hard. We’re having Mock Chicken Salad and Beautiful Soup.

Beautiful Soup, Who cares for fish, Spam, or any other dish? Who would not give all else for two pennyworth only of Beautiful Soup?

:wipes away tear: