# What I hate about Porno **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 16, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796 "2000-03-16T14:45:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/1 "2000-03-16T14:45:00Z")
The Pit won over MPSIMS in a coin toss. Move if necessary. I don’t hate porno, but I sure hate what passes for it nowdays, especially with the videos. 1. **No plots, only scenes.** I go to the adult video store, and 99% of the tapes are just scene compilations. “25 Grossest Ass-reamings,” “Clit-Hungry Sluts,” “4 Hours of Cum-Soaked Facials, Part 17,” and the like. I mean, where’s the movie? Even those that are supposed to be movies are basically just encounter scenes. I’m not looking for Citizen Kane plots, but a story would be nice. 1. **There’s no eroticism.** Where’s the sensuality? I think it would be fun to watch an erotic movie with my girlfriend, and in fact we have seen a few together. She is intrigued by them, and can be easily aroused; but she is put off by the harshness. And so am I. I’m making a distinction between harshness and explicitness. A scene can be extremely explicit without coming across as just two pieces of human meat exchanging friction and fluid. I find many soft-core movies to be very erotic. I thought _Emmanuelle_ was terrific. Why can’t they take a plot like that (shy woman discovers her awakening sexuality and explores many avenues of expression), and make it hard-core? (I’m sure they have, but _I_ can’t find them). You would still have all the scenes the pornomakers rely on (mast., les., str., grp.). Oral and even anal scenes could be done sensually if they put a little effort into it. And can’t the money shot be a part of natural lovemaking rather than an excuse to cover as much of the woman’s face as possible? Take the typical lesbian scene, for instance. Instead of something erotic, it goes like this: –woman 1 meets woman 2 –they immediately take off clothes –kissing: 5-10 seconds –breast play: 20 seconds –woman 1: lick lick lick with no enthusiasm: 2-5 minutes (fake moaning) –switch places –woman 2: lick lick lick with no enthusiasm: 2-5 minutes (fake moaning) –bring out toy and KY (b/c natural arousal is nowhere to be seen; see below) –usually no conversation at all (don’t filmmakers know that sensuous talk and erotic conversation can make sex so much more arousing than just physical contact?). How about more kissing and foreplay? The above can be extrapolated into any scene; not just lesbian. 1. **The women aren’t physically aroused.** I’m not just talking about orgasms, which I can see might be very difficult to have under filming conditions. But many times it is obvious the woman is not physically aroused much if at all. I realize that women vary in the amount of natural lubrication during arousal; but it strikes me odd that porno women always seem dry as a bone. And with the gyno close-up cam, it is painfully obvious. Actually, painful is a good word, because I have seen these women actually wince during the act. Some put their hands against the guy as if to try to push him away a little. This can’t be fun for them; and that translates into less interest for me and my girl watching. We want to see a woman dripping wet with arousal; thorougly enjoying the experience; not looking as though she is bored or wanting to be anywhere else but in that particular scene. 1. **Shot on tape rather than film.** I hate the straight-to-video look of porno. I know, it’s cheaper. And it shows. 2. **Porno fake breasts** Total turn-off. They look ridiculous. 3. **Removal of most if not all pubic hair.** I _like_ the buzz-cut look, and general pubic trimming, including the labial area if desired. To me, that means you take what you have and do some slight grooming. But most porno women go for the bald or “landing strip” look. Does nothing for me. I’ve tried some of the older movies, and some can be pretty good (although some are just ridiculously silly), _but I can’t find them anymore_. In any case, you can never tell what you’re getting until it is too late. You can _never_tell by the box what the movie will be like. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/2 "2000-03-16T16:04:00Z")
You watch too much porno. really. * * * well, at least one person wants to meet me… [http://fathom.org/polldata/pollcheck.adp?poll=dope-page5&question=62](http://fathom.org/polldata/pollcheck.adp?poll=dope-page5&question=62) Cheers!! ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/3 "2000-03-16T17:01:00Z")
**Dive** –I hear ya. _Emmanuelle_ was amazing, and I still have a lingering affection for _Debbie_ and _The Devil in Miss Jones_. Sigh. Dammit, we need to take back the NC-17 rating. -andros- ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/4 "2000-03-16T17:54:00Z")
I thought it was only us girls who wanted a story. Even “Teacher you gave me an F” “So, how about an oral exam” is better than that endless loop of flesh with no meaning. Makes my husband happy though. ---
**Author:** ![Occam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Occam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Occam)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/5 "2000-03-16T17:59:00Z")
Sigh…what ever happened to movies like “Fanny Hill”? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/6 "2000-03-17T06:02:00Z")
What you’re looking for is what the porn industry refers to as “couples” films. These videos tend to place a stronger emphasis on plot and foreplay rather than the more traditional “let’s see how many cum shots we can fit on a single tape”. Try a film by Candida Royalle next time. And stay away from anything by Al Borda. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/7 "2000-03-17T06:04:00Z")
JohnLarrigan: > [@](#): > > You watch too much porno. really. (Sigh), I guess critical reading skills have dropped even more than I had feared. _I hardly watch any porno at all_ because it has become so awful (see points 1-6 above). I would _like_ to enjoy good porno with my girlfriend; and she would enjoy it too, if it were any good. It is not any good. That’s the whole point. Duh! I certainly don’t have to watch every tape that comes out to realize what the industry is producing these days. Just look at the advertisements, catalogs, XXX-spam, etc… It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what is ubiquitous. My ex was heavily into porno, which is where I got the idea that watching together could be fun. It’s also where I formed the above opinions (and she pretty much agreed with me). Watching the crap out there by myself ranks right up there with doing my taxes. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/8 "2000-03-17T06:41:00Z")
No porno expert I – I think the last skin flick I saw was _Misty Beethoven_ - but I suspect the forces of the free market are against you, divemaster. If the vast majority of porn being put out are as you describe, then it’s a safe bet that this is what the vast majority of porn consumers are buying. One of the hosts of a sports-talk show I listen to is a big porn fan, and he describes anything other than actual action as “stuff to be fast-forwarded.” Not to sound like a geezer, but in my day (when Betamax was the only choice for home video) and I had a passing interest in porn, I remember renting things like _Behind the Green Door_, _The Devil in Miss Jones_, and the aforementioned _Misty B._. Undoubtedly, they’re still out there – you may have to find a Beta player 🙂 - but they must exist. Doesn’t eBay have a dirty movies section? But I guarantee you it’s cheaper to rent a motel room, three girls and two guys, and set up a video camera than to produce a _Green Door_. And if the public buys it – then that’s what will be produced. Simple economics. Art always suffers from crass commercialism. 🙂 - Rick ---
**Author:** ![M2Lepton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@M2Lepton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/M2Lepton)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/9 "2000-03-16T19:31:00Z")
Bricker is right, the current popular demand is for movies consisting of all sex scenes. When you consider the cost of making these movies can be as low as $6,000, the supply of hardcore is getting overwhelming because of the demand and easy profit. ---
**Author:** ![Konrad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f475e1/32.png) [@Konrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Konrad)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/10 "2000-03-16T23:15:00Z")
This guy understands your pain: [http://www.leisuretown.com/library/apr2099/index.html](http://www.leisuretown.com/library/apr2099/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/11 "2000-03-17T01:09:00Z")
The ones with just sex scenes are better. Then we don’t have to watch these no-talent people try and ‘act’. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/12 "2000-03-17T02:02:00Z")
I personally consider " Behind the Green Door" a classic, and I bought a copy a few years ago. Debbie does Dallas was pretty funny too. I worked at a video store for a while years ago, and watched alot of movies. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/13 "2000-03-17T03:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by spooje: > \*\*The ones with just sex scenes are better. Then we don’t have to watch these no-talent people try and ‘act’. \*\* I would expect something like that from someone named after a cumshot. 😃 -andros- ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/14 "2000-03-17T04:12:00Z")
I’m with ya, Divemaster. Back when I was a teenager, I was babysitting, and I happened across the most wonderful movie on some “adult” channel on cable. It may not have been great cinema, but I think it would meet your criteria. Problem is, the parents got home before I could even figure out what movie it was. It is out there, somewhere…and I sure wish I knew where. It is true that there is great demand for the “cum-shot” movies, and that the profits in that sector of the industry can be great. But demand for one kind of porn does not preclude the possibility that there might be demand for another kind. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/15 "2000-03-17T14:44:00Z")
Dude, my reply was in jest, for I fear the wrath of a man on a battleship coming after me for the use of a smilie in the pit. It is bad that they cant make the style of porn you want, but why dont you make your own?? Hell, it could be fun. something to watch at the Dopefest. * * * well, at least one person wants to meet me… [http://fathom.org/polldata/pollcheck.adp?poll=dope-page5&question=62](http://fathom.org/polldata/pollcheck.adp?poll=dope-page5&question=62) Cheers!! ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/16 "2000-03-17T15:22:00Z")
Man oh man. Why don’t you fogeys rent _The English Patient_ and leave the porn for us young guys with functional sex drives? 😃 * * * **Gypsy** : Tom, I don’t get you. **Tom Servo** : Nobody does. I’m the wind, baby. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/17 "2000-03-17T15:48:00Z")
I hope I haven’t been inducted into the halls of fogeydom yet! I’m only 31!!! But a very old-fashioned 31, I’ll admit. And at the risk of flying into the Chief’s radar screen: 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 And just to make sure this stays in the pit…Fuck all those wankers out there that are driving the porno industry to produce total crap! ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/18 "2000-03-17T23:04:00Z")
I have the answer for you! Get Direct TV, and get the Playboy channel- lots of actually good movies, and fun smut. Better yet are the pay per view flicks on Direct TV. They are real movies with attractive actors and actresses- good plots and everything. Oh- and fun porn (much of it quite explicit). We love 'em! Zette * * * “If I had to live your life, I’d be begging to have someone pop out both my eyes. Just in case I came across a mirror.” - android209 (in the Pit) [Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) Voted “Most Empathetic”- can you believe that? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2000, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/19 "2000-03-18T01:35:00Z")
The Playboy Channel actually has people who sit around all day watching porno movies and deciding which of them have enough plot to justify editing out the explicit sex and showing on their network. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796/20 "2000-03-18T02:35:00Z")
I’m confused. Does the Playboy channel show hard-core porn or only soft-core. What is the difference anyway? I think I know, but I might be wrong. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-hate-about-porno/4796.md?page=2)