# What I like best about Alphagene **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360 "2000-06-23T21:12:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/1 "2000-06-23T21:12:28Z")
I know my favorite thing is how he always gives me extra petite marshmallows in my cocoa after I come in from building a snowman. Also, he always burns the bread a little bit, just like I like it, when he makes grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. And he always holds the back of my head when I blow my nose, to make sure I get all the boogies out. Alphagene’s the best. Okay, everyone, let’s hear why _you_ like Alphagene so much. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/2 "2000-06-23T21:17:23Z")
Ke-er-rist, Flyp. You gotta death wish or somethin’? There ain’t no way in hell I’m touching this topic. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/3 "2000-06-23T21:18:12Z")
I like it when… … he strokes my ego, _just so_. … he tells me how intelligent he thinks I am. … he shares my enthusiasm, love and deep appreciation of MPSIMS. … he shows me what true compassion is by modeling it in every way, every day. and finally, I love it when he says, “Call me Alfalfagene. And say it like you mean it.” ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/4 "2000-06-23T21:19:46Z")
Valerie 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/5 "2000-06-23T21:34:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > There ain’t no way in hell I’m touching this topic. > \*\* I am gravely disappointed, **Unc.** I’ve always thought of you as a man who knows no fear. What I like best about **Alphagene** is that, when you dangle him by a steel cable from the summit of one of the towers of the World Trade Center, and you dangle **UncleBeer** from the other, and you swing them both in huge arcs so that they repeatedly slam into each other, by the time you’re done, there’s more of **Alphagene** left over. That and the fact that when he reads us bedtime stories, he does _all_ the voices. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/6 "2000-06-23T21:40:04Z")
I like his vast collection of Precious Moments figurines. And stuffed animals. And how he always makes soup for all of us on cold days. What a softie. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/7 "2000-06-23T22:07:30Z")
I like it when **Alpha** comes over to my house and we have sleepovers. He wears his Holly Hobby Nightgown and I wear my Spiderman Underoos. He always brings his Easy Bake Oven so we can make _real cakes all by ourselves_! ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/8 "2000-06-23T22:16:15Z")
I like the friendly way Alphagene talks to trolls. No matter what they say, he listens to them and responds with such compassion and love. And I like the way he goes out of his way to be a peace maker. But what I like best is the milk and cookies he gives us when it’s story time. ::Ayesha leaves this thread running for her life:: ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/9 "2000-06-23T22:18:57Z")
I like it when Alphagene tells Demo to stop shooting his “web”. I like it when Alphagene reads from Charles Dickens to us before bed, then goes back to his place and gets hopped up on ether. I like how Alphagene can turn the world on with his smile. But, most of all. I like when Alphagene does his interprative BBQ Pit dance. pat ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/10 "2000-06-23T22:21:37Z")
He’s cute when he snarls. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/11 "2000-06-23T22:23:23Z")
> [@](#): > > I like it when Alphagene tells Demo to stop shooting his “web”. **AHEM!** That was _supposed_ to be our little secret. Remember? Cripes… ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/12 "2000-06-23T22:24:04Z")
I like how nice he is to all of us that set up the lawn chairs and kegs for the flame wars. He bakes us brownies and toll house cookies, brings extra Diet Coke for those of us who don’t drink, and makes sure that we don’t get too crowded. He’s a really sweet guy in that way. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/13 "2000-06-23T22:32:41Z")
His deep and abiding love for all people. The way he makes me feel when he smiles. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/14 "2000-06-23T22:37:29Z")
Nope. Can’t think of a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/15 "2000-06-23T22:59:04Z")
More than anything, I love him for his looks. Those eyes… MAN the times I have contemplated switching teams for this stud. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/16 "2000-06-23T23:01:16Z")
I like how, on days when you just don’t feel like going to school so you say you have a stomache ache, Alphagene doesn’t look at you real suspiciously or ask a bunch of questions. He lets you stay in bed with comic books, and at lunch he brings you soup. Which is why I would _never_ mention that unfortunate incident when I caught him in the garage with a fifth of Chivas and an inflatable sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/17 "2000-06-23T23:11:22Z")
What I love about him best is when my little puppy got hit by a car, Alpha gave me a big hug and held me while I cried. Then, later, he took me to Dairy Queen and said I could get whatever I wanted. One time I accidentally broke my mommy’s favorite ceramic duck and Alph said he did it so I wouldn’t get in trouble. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/18 "2000-06-23T23:27:15Z")
Thanks a bunch, **Jodi**. I can now report that snorting Diet Coke out my nose hurts like hell. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/19 "2000-06-23T23:38:43Z")
He has a smile that brightens up the whole world. Whenever I have a bad day, I know I can go to Alphagene and tell him all about it, and he’ll give me friendly advice that helps me out a whole bunch. He’s like Dr. Laura, only nicer. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360/20 "2000-06-23T23:45:40Z")
I once saw Alphagene levitate to return a fallen sparrow to its nest, all the while mending its broken wing with popsicle sticks and twine. He is love. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-like-best-about-alphagene/23360.md?page=2)