# What I miss about not being single; also, what I used to miss about being single **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571 "2011-10-13T20:32:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/1 "2011-10-13T20:32:56Z")
I’m single right now, and I think the one thing I miss the most about having a man is our good night talks. All the boyfriends I’ve had would call me nightly, and I would lie in bed with the lights out and tell him about my day and whatever was on my mind, and listen as he did the same. And I miss that nightly ritual terribly. Whenever I’m in a relationship, I miss first kisses. I love the excitement that comes from recognizing that you’re no longer “just hanging out,” and I hate to think that commitment means no more first kisses for a while. Anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/2 "2011-10-13T20:47:41Z")
The best thing about being single is having (nearly) complete freedom, and it’s not even close. Friday night and I want to watch a Star Trek TNG marathon in my boxers? I get to do it. Saturday night and I want to go to three different parties and stay out til 4am? I get to do that too. Best thing about not being single is having someone to come home to, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/3 "2011-10-13T20:57:20Z")
i am single …i wouldn’t mind a part time man in my life …i miss the intimate conversations …and i wouldn’t mind a travel partner … i am not interested in having someone move in …no way jose ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/4 "2011-10-13T23:48:20Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > The best thing about being single is having (nearly) complete freedom, and it’s not even close. I agree! 🆒 I was in a 7-month relationship with an emotional abuser over a year ago, and I’m still not tired enough of being single to get back into serious dating. There are way too many benefits to being single. I know exactly how much money to budget for gas each week, because I don’t have to worry about visiting a boyfriend all the time. There’s nobody to steal my half of the blanket at night, no snoring to wake me up at 4am, no one else’s stinky feet to worry about, and no arguments over what movie to watch next or where to go to dinner. If I want to have sex with myself, I do, and if I don’t feel like it, I don’t. I never have to feel obligated or guilty because my sex drive doesn’t line up with itself. If I feel like wasting 5 hours making a stupid (but hilarious to me) mspaint drawing, I can do so without feeling guilty. I can eat cheetos and drink a white russian for dinner, any time (or every time). I can wait a week to take out the garbage, and leave my laundry lying haphazardly wherever it falls, and nobody cares! God damn, I love being single. The only thing I truly miss is the weed, and the consistent expectation of having sex with someone. But even then, all the sex in my relationships has gotten stale within 6 months _yawn_ Bring on the singledom! ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/5 "2011-10-13T23:54:20Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > Whenever I’m in a relationship, I miss first kisses. I love the excitement that comes from recognizing that you’re no longer “just hanging out,” and I hate to think that commitment means no more first kisses for a while. Listen to _Another First Kiss_ by They Might Be Giants. Good song. > [@neuroman](#): > > The best thing about being single is having (nearly) complete freedom, and it’s not even close. Friday night and I want to watch a Star Trek TNG marathon in my boxers? I get to do it. Saturday night and I want to go to three different parties and stay out til 4am? I get to do that too. > > Best thing about not being single is having someone to come home to, I guess. The best thing about being in a relationship is having something better to do than watching a Star Trek TNG marathon. Or so I’ve heard. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/6 "2011-10-14T00:01:32Z")
The best thing about not being single- someone having your back. Knowing that if you break down on the side of the road, or even in the middle of traffic, in the drive through, or in a driveway or parking lot (all of which I’ve been broke down in) he will be there, right away, no worries. No calling different people, finding one that’s not too busy, that will agree to come and help you, no offers of payment needing to be extended. Just an “I’m broke down, please come get” and I’m good. Ah, yes. Life is good. That, and the sex. The best thing about being single: everything else. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/7 "2011-10-14T00:06:24Z")
I miss not having someone you have to run out to play chess with or gin rummy or cribbage – frequently in bed, and someone doesn’t really give two shits how bad you behave, just as long as you don’t commit a crime or be mean to your mother over the phone. ETA that means, just stay in, not scare up some friends for some stupid game. Just someone who’s there and is as wicked in her heart as I am/was. Wow, never thought I’d say that I miss her. Just that I’ll never let someone be that person for me without a contract signed in blood or, if she’s a diabetic, a steady syringe of rice pudding right at hand waiting, or, even better, just let her sugar get too low and die in her sleep. Yep, I’m a charmer these days. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/8 "2011-10-14T00:53:09Z")
> [@\_Olive](#): > > i am single …i wouldn’t mind a part time man in my life …i miss the intimate conversations …and i wouldn’t mind a travel partner … > > i am not interested in having someone move in …no way jose This matches my thoughts, though swap “man” for “woman”. However, I will be terminally alone. It is fated in the stars. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/9 "2011-10-14T01:23:15Z")
Farting without having to blame the dog! And, as a single mom for almost 7 years, making the rules without having to discuss with or debrief someone else. But, it’s awfully nice to know that he always has my back, he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful even on day 9 of the flu or month 328 of pregnancy (“Thar she blows!”) Or if I fart. And he can and will get me out of minor traffic tickets! ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/10 "2011-10-14T04:18:16Z")
I’ve learned that distance really helps with relationships. Snuggling down in bed with the phone as we talk our day out is good. Wild monkey sex when me manage to get together is great. Sending him a surprise package of goodies makes me feel good. Visiting with someone for the weekend, or even a week…I can do that. Longer than that and I start doing things like sorting his cultery into the proper slots, sorting his fiction alpha by author and labeling his non fiction by dewey numbers. My current love of my life lives 2 states away, we are together maybe 4 days a month. That helps keep the kisses fresh and exciting. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/11 "2011-10-14T10:16:13Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > The best thing about not being single- someone having your back. Knowing that if you break down on the side of the road, or even in the middle of traffic, in the drive through, or in a driveway or parking lot (all of which I’ve been broke down in) he will be there, right away, no worries. …provided you’re in a relationship with someone who can drive and has access to another vehicle… Just sayin’… ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/12 "2011-10-14T10:23:11Z")
After being married to a stone nut for nearly fifteen years, nothing beats being single and living alone, even though I’m elderly and physically handicapped. I’d rather be in hell with my back broken that to go into another relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/13 "2011-10-14T11:12:21Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Longer than that and I start doing things like sorting his cultery into the proper slots, sorting his fiction alpha by author and labeling his non fiction by dewey numbers. I’m very much not interested in a romantic relationship with you, but if I win the lottery and pay for the trip, will you come sort my books? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/14 "2011-10-14T11:47:13Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > The best thing about being single is having (nearly) complete freedom, and it’s not even close. Friday night and I want to watch a Star Trek TNG marathon in my boxers? I get to do it. Saturday night and I want to go to three different parties and stay out til 4am? I get to do that too. > > Best thing about not being single is having someone to come home to, I guess. Heh, just yesterday I was sitting at home watching a DS9 marathon and drinking beer at 9 in the morning. It was great. ---
**Author:** ![RedBloom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@RedBloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedBloom)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/15 "2011-10-14T16:32:33Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Farting without having to blame the dog! And, as a single mom for almost 7 years, making the rules without having to discuss with or debrief someone else. > > But, it’s awfully nice to know that he always has my back, he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful even on day 9 of the flu or month 328 of pregnancy (“Thar she blows!”) Or if I fart. And he can and will get me out of minor traffic tickets! Oh, this SO made my day. And I wholeheartedly agree with all of it 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/16 "2011-10-14T18:48:25Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > I agree! 🆒 > > I was in a 7-month relationship with an emotional abuser over a year ago, and I’m still not tired enough of being single to get back into serious dating. There are way too many benefits to being single. I know exactly how much money to budget for gas each week, because I don’t have to worry about visiting a boyfriend all the time. There’s nobody to steal my half of the blanket at night, no snoring to wake me up at 4am, no one else’s stinky feet to worry about, and no arguments over what movie to watch next or where to go to dinner. **If I want to have sex with myself I do, and if I don’t feel like it I don’t**. I never have to feel obligated or guilty because my sex drive doesn’t line up with itself. If I feel like wasting 5 hours making a stupid (but hilarious to me) mspaint drawing, I can do so without feeling guilty. I can eat cheetos and drink a white russian for dinner, any time (or every time). I can wait a week to take out the garbage, and leave my laundry lying haphazardly wherever it falls, and nobody cares! > > God damn, I love being single. **The only thing I truly miss is the weed** , and the consistent expectation of having sex with someone. But even then, all the sex in my relationships has gotten stale within 6 months _yawn_ Bring on the singledom! Bolding mine. Um, what? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/17 "2011-10-14T19:41:58Z")
I don’t know why she can’t get weed by herself, but that’s how I read it. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/18 "2011-10-14T23:57:34Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > The best thing about not being single- someone having your back. Knowing that if you break down on the side of the road, or even in the middle of traffic, in the drive through, or in a driveway or parking lot (all of which I’ve been broke down in) he will be there, right away, no worries. No calling different people, finding one that’s not too busy, that will agree to come and help you, no offers of payment needing to be extended. Just an “I’m broke down, please come get” and I’m good. I’m single, with the business card of a service station and towing service I trust, so I guess I’m all set. Having someone to hang out with would be nice once in a while though. I got too much crap happening in my life right now to pursue it though. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/19 "2011-10-15T00:26:48Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Bolding mine. > > Um, what? 😕 My last relationship was the last time I had access to weed, is all. Also, you’ve never had sex with yourself? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2011, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571/20 "2011-10-15T00:30:48Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > My last relationship was the last time I had access to weed, is all. > > Also, you’ve never had sex with yourself? 😛 Is that different than masturbating? I guess I’ve fucked my hand…😕 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-i-miss-about-not-being-single-also-what-i-used-to-miss-about-being-single/599571.md?page=2)