# What I'd Like To Hear Bush Say Tonight **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 18, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164 "2003-03-18T01:03:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/1 "2003-03-18T01:03:47Z")
My Fellow Americans… Oh, to hell with it. This isn’t for you, it’s for that buttchomper Hussein. Listen up. FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCK. I know I don’t have the support I’d like to come over there and whomp your sorry ass. But…I hate you. You’re a flaming dickhead, and need a major ass kicking in the worst way. So, instead of sending my entire military (which I could do, because I’m the Commander-In-Chief of the ass-kickingest military in the known UNIVERSE), I’m just going to send two thugs and an airplane. The thugs are going to beat you senseless. Kick you in the stomach until you confess to blowing goats. And when they’re done, they’re gonna bend you over, tie your wrists to your ankles, and then run away real fast. The plane? Yeah, it’s got a smart bomb. And it’s target is RIGHT UP YOUR ASSHOLE. When will they be there? Oh, I dunno. But…neither do you. HAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! I’m outta here! Hey Cheney! Let’s go get some beer, man. I’m parched! ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/2 "2003-03-18T01:19:14Z")
I’d like to hear him say “nuclear”. Or anything even remotely intelligent for that matter. Or a sentence longer that 3 words. Bush is an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/3 "2003-03-18T01:21:06Z")
" I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’ve changed my mind. Peace." ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/4 "2003-03-18T01:22:09Z")
Well, **Persephone** , the speech has just finished, and unfortunately it was nowhere near as measured or intelligent as your example. But i expected no more. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/5 "2003-03-18T01:24:49Z")
Dude, if I heard him say that, I’d support him. That would be so freaking COOL. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/6 "2003-03-18T01:32:04Z")
Why does it look like he is trying ever so hard not to smirk, no matter what he says? ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/7 "2003-03-18T01:41:57Z")
He didn’t say “nuclear” though. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/8 "2003-03-18T01:42:40Z")
In an earlier speech, he was leaning on the podium with one elbow. For the love of God, man, you’re the _President of the United States_, not a frat boy addressing the newest pledge class. Don’t slouch, especially not when talking about killing people. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/9 "2003-03-18T01:48:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SmackFu \* > \*\*He didn’t say “nuclear” though. \*\* I think that was **roadkiller’s** point. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/10 "2003-03-18T02:01:32Z")
Slithering, plopping sound, slight groan. President shakes his leg and looks down. Jerks upright with that signature “deer in the headlights” gaze. “Dammit Condie, My Dick just fell off, what’ll we do now?” ---
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/11 "2003-03-18T02:16:56Z")
What was all that “The Dictator” shit? He couldn’t call Saddam by name?? ---
**Author:** ![SmackFu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@SmackFu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmackFu)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/12 "2003-03-18T02:22:16Z")
He also didn’t say “nukular”. ---
**Author:** ![beajerry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@beajerry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beajerry)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/13 "2003-03-18T02:23:05Z")
Why doesn’t he ever smile or grimace with those dicks of the Religious Right and Big Business up his butt? Maybe that’s why he leans on the podium so much. The little bitch has learned to assume the position. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/14 "2003-03-18T02:36:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*" I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’ve changed my mind. Peace." \*\* “And please don’t attack us or the Israelis. Can’t we all just get along. Let’s all be nice to each other. We are going to destroy all our weapons because we believe in the goodness of our fellow man.” Grow up man, its a VERY dangerous world. Humans are violent imperfect creatures. Hopefully this show of force and the 3 minute war that follows will show the world that its time to calm down. Rip us apart verbally all you want, but don’t blow up buildings, especially when your culture doesn’t even allow a woman to walk around without a veil on. As far as I’m concerned these terrorists are just a bunch of Timothy Mcveigh’s with darker skin. You cannot reason with them except to show them force. The US has done some despicable things, but we (and the rest of the world) won’t survive unless we show and use our strength. We all want peace, but goddamn, its dangerous out there. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/15 "2003-03-18T02:41:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SmackFu \* > \*\*He also didn’t say “nukular”. \*\* Actually, he did. He said something about … we can’t risk Iraq giving over biological, chemical or nuke-yoo-lar weapons to terrorist … or somthing like that. Neither here nor there. What I wish I had said: “My fellow Americans … I quit. The stress is too much. Al, fuck it, I concede Florida. You feel like taking this puppy home?” ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/16 "2003-03-18T02:48:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **In an earlier speech, he was leaning on the podium with one elbow.** I’m sorry, I never do this, but: You _stand_ on a podium. You lean on a lectern. I’m still completely bemused by the “nucular” thing, although one would think I’d have gotten over it by now. I can only assume that nobody in the entire administration has ever dared to say “Excuse me, Mr. President, but it’s ‘nuclear’.” At least I didn’t compulsively count the instances of “nucular” this time, like I did in the State of the Union. (There were only two times tonight, right?) ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/17 "2003-03-18T03:36:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by masonite \* > \*\*I’m sorry, I never do this, but: > > You _stand_ on a podium. You lean on a lectern.\*\* Perhaps since you never do this, you’re unaware of a basic rule of snotty grammar correction: [Make sure you’re right before you correct someone’s grammar](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=podium) To wit: > [@](#): > > po·di·um > > 1. An elevated platform, as for an orchestra conductor or public speaker. > \*\*2) A stand for holding the notes of a public speaker; a lectern. \*\* Me? I only snottily correct the snotty correctors, so I’m safe. 🙂 Daniel ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/18 "2003-03-18T04:47:19Z")
My favorite part was the “please don’t blow up the oil wells”. Because if you do that, then we no longer have any reason to care about fixing your country up after we bomb the shiat out of it, do we? Or you know what would really be a hoot? If sometime tomorrow, Saddam called up Bush and said, “Hi! I’m in a non-extradition treaty island country somewhere in the Pacific. I left Iraq just like you said. I’ve got an offshore bank account and I’m going to enjoy retirement. Meanwhile, all those weapons and stuff? You’re right, we had them all along. I left my underlings in charge of them when I left. Have fun!” Any chance we’ll see Saddam again on South Park? With the way they churn out political episodes, it wouldn’t surprise me for them to have several different ones planned already that they’ll roll out as soon as the bombs start dropping. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/19 "2003-03-18T05:00:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by djf750 \* > **Hopefully this show of force and the 3 minute war that follows will show the world that its time to calm down.** And if this war doesn’t make it absolutely clear that violence is not the answer, the only reasonable next step will be to crash the moon into the Earth. We can do it too, because none of our women are forced to wear veils and, unlike the Iraqis, we have nothing in common with Timothy McVeigh. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164/20 "2003-03-18T06:18:08Z")
**Daniel:** [Dictionary.com](http://Dictionary.com)? An interesting choice. 🙂 OED has it as follows: > [@](#): > > 1. _Arch._ **a.** A continuous projecting base or pedestal, a stylobate. **b.** A raised platform surrounding the arena in an ancient amphitheatre. **c.** A continuous seat or bench around a room. **d.** A raised platform or dais at the front of a hall or stage; _spec._ that occupied by the conductor of an orchestra. **e.** A projecting lower structure around the base of a tower block. (Definitions 2 and 3 relate to anatomy, zoology and botany. Citations omitted; I lost the damn magnifying glass.) No lectern mentioned. I stand by my snotty nitpick! (and now, back to the thread.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-id-like-to-hear-bush-say-tonight/162164.md?page=2)