# What if a Doper became president **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682 "2003-12-18T03:01:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/21 "2003-12-18T16:21:48Z")
It would say BANNED under his name at all press conferences. ---
**Author:** ![Plankspanker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Plankspanker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plankspanker)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/22 "2003-12-18T16:44:57Z")
I vote **Rue** for president. I’m thinking a Monday Morning Address followed by questions and answers 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kasuo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8c91f0/32.png) [@kasuo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kasuo)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/23 "2003-12-18T17:06:22Z")
Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/24 "2003-12-18T20:21:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > \*\*Well, I suppose this is as good a time as any to broach the subject… > > 2 Nov 2004, aka Election Day, is my thirty-fifth birthday. I turn 35 at precisely 6:41 PM, well before the polls close on the East Coast. > > I now turn your attention to Article II, Section I, Clause 5 of the [U.S. Constitution](http://www.house.gov/Constitution/Constitution.html):So, in short - vote **Olentzero** in 2004. It’s my birthday! \*\* Yes, but the evil media would dig up evidence of nasty Michael Jackson jokes you’ve told and trash your public image. :o Vote for ME and I’ll make you Secretary of Something or other ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/25 "2003-12-18T21:10:25Z")
Damn, I thought this would be all serious and stuff and I was gunna say we’d have an actual separation of church and state and equal rights for all, not just… Wait. This ain’t GD or the Pit. Nevermind… ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/26 "2003-12-19T02:02:20Z")
I have an interest in the job, but won’t be able to run for the job until 2020… ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/27 "2003-12-19T02:10:30Z")
Actually, I want either **Rue** or **Wang-ka** to at least run for office purely to hear their speeches. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/28 "2003-12-19T03:12:42Z")
I would like to nominate \*\* Lieu \*\* \*Department of Bodily Functions and TMI. \* This possibly could be an undersecretary job of the DoD. \*\*Eve \*\* I think would be a great White House Press reporter with the most seniority like that old lady whatsherface She looks like the Burgermeister , only **Eve** is more stunning and eons younger. I would like to appoint **MattMcl** and **Esprix** as Co-Attorney Generals. Yes, yes, I know one is Canadian, but we know he can over come this problem. \*\*Tripler, Airmandoors \*\* and **Bluesman & Lucretia** would be Dept of Defense. **DaveW0071** might be a good nomination here as well, considering his hush hush job in chemical warfare… ooooh, have I said too much? 🙂 ) \*\*Cecil Adams \*\* Would be the Department of Edumacation. Like anyone ever really sees anyone in that department. **glee** would be assigned teaching Chess to school children across America. Even though he’s a brit, we’ll assign him a translator. \*\* **Philosphr** would be incharge of asking really good questions. I’m sure there is a fancy pants title to go with that, but it eludes me. \*\*Thea Logica \*\* will be given free reign to blow up all Wallmarts as she sees fit. And just about everyone in the **GD** area will be on the Supreme Court. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/29 "2003-12-19T03:48:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*Tripler, Airmandoors \*\* and **Bluesman & Lucretia** would be Dept of Defense. **DaveW0071** might be a good nomination here as well, considering his hush hush job in chemical warfare… ooooh, have I said too much? 🙂 ) \*\* I don’t know about the rest of you, but anyone that promises me a Cabinet-level job right off the bat has my vote, hands down. Tripler Now where’s that darned “launch key”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/30 "2003-12-19T04:14:50Z")
I will be willing to enter any SDMB Cabinet, but only on the condition that I do not serve with several members to be named later. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/31 "2003-12-19T04:19:47Z")
**Tripler** Not only will I give you the launch key, but your very own \* Potato Gun\* for fun…I mean…for defending this great nation. Operation Spudchucker. 😃 And when you have mastered it ( after a keg of three) you can move up to a Pumpkin Cannon. Now \*that’s \* a weapon of mass ickiness. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/32 "2003-12-19T04:29:38Z")
I call dibs on a position on the Joint Chiefs of Staff (Well, after I get my commission . . .) Either that or Secretary of the Navy. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/33 "2003-12-19T04:51:17Z")
**Qagdtop the Mectotroidiansnufflupagus** can be the new C. Everett Koop, only without looking so Yoder-ish. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/34 "2003-12-19T05:58:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\ ***Tripler** Not only will I give you the launch key… \*\* There ain’t no such thing as a free launch. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/35 "2003-12-19T06:02:33Z")
Yeah like anyone that posts to these forums has time to run for pres. Sorry the press conferance has to wait a new spoiler thread has opened in Cafe Society ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/36 "2003-12-19T06:24:56Z")
Um, hello? [**Some of us are already running**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=181174), thank you very much. Sheesh. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Chavardz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@Chavardz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chavardz)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/37 "2003-12-19T06:26:11Z")
Esprix! I don’t know how long you’ve been back, but welcome back! ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/38 "2003-12-19T08:20:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*_ **Tripler** Not only will I give you the launch key, but your very own \* Potato Gun_ for fun…I mean…for defending this great nation. > > Operation Spudchucker. 😃 > > And when you have mastered it ( after a keg of three) you can move up to a Pumpkin Cannon. Now \*that’s \* a weapon of mass ickiness. \*\* Obviously, you haven’t heard of the [chicken cannon](http://www.airfarce.com/info/targets.html) . PS. Check the ammo for these targets. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/39 "2003-12-19T11:35:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Chavardz \* > \*\*Esprix! I don’t know how long you’ve been back, but welcome back! \*\* Now the real question is, did he bring pie? ---
**Author:** ![the\_duke\_69](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@the\_duke\_69](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_duke_69)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/40 "2003-12-19T12:33:55Z")
I would love to run, but if I was the leader of the free country I would have to do something about this streets paved of gold rumor going around. I mean how can we have streets of gold when are hip hop stars are wearing it all? another point in case I would make it mandatory for everyone to get three hours everyday of Zepplin, Floyd, Beatles in order to inspire great thoughts and great people. Drugs would be legal but with a huge tax so has to deter common use. Drugs will also be rewarded for any over 60 years of age with sufficient life experience goes gosh dang it they deserve it. As for war. You hit us once we kill you twice. Any threats on this country will be taken lightly unless backed up. If there is sufficient proof of said threat then I will play that leader a game of chess. The loser having to quite whatever bad things they are doing that caused the game in the first place. No one will be aloud to augment them selfs in any way. You are who you are if you cant deal with it then leave the damn country and stop confusing people about who you really are. The homeless we will still have them but they are well dressed, have a good demeanor and have been deodorized to the satisfaction of our rotary club. And thanks to Robert Heinlein(Sp?) You can not be a true citizen with out serving for you country and you can not vote unless you are a citizen. So in other words, No votes for me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682.md?page=3)