# What if a Doper became president

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [December 18, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682 "2003-12-18T03:01:41Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![the\_duke\_69](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@the\_duke\_69](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_duke_69)\
**Post date:** [December 19, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/41 "2003-12-19T12:39:42Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by the\_duke\_69 \*  
> \*\*No one will be aloud to augment them selfs in any way. You are who you are if you cant deal with it then leave the damn country and stop confusing people about who you really are.  
> \*\*

Ok worded this wrong, No one can augment them selfs phisically. by all means Augment yourself mentally all you want.

and just to add Straight dope would get tax breaks and be supported by the goverment on goverment servers. And only citizens can be a member of straight dope becuase it will be the ultimate think tank.

(I have asthma and cant serve in the arm forces, battle wise, but there are desk jobs so no one is excluded from being a citizen.)

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/42 "2003-12-20T07:08:38Z")

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Every presidential debate would run longer because we’d have to provide laptops with internet access because of the constant cries of, “CITE?!”

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**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/43 "2003-12-20T07:26:12Z")

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The new Doper President’s Oath of Office:

“I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. So help me G-d, The Goddess, Cthulhu, and The Pink Unicorn!”

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**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/44 "2003-12-31T18:28:30Z")

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I like Kang’s plan:

**Kang:** Abortions for all!  
**Audience:** BOO!  
**Kang:** Okay… Abortions for none!  
**Audience:** BOO!  
**Kang:** Hmm… Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others!  
**Audience:** YAY!!!

If elected president, the streets will run red with the blood of my enemies! The people will tremble in fear of my brutal reign.

Come election year, though, I’ll give each retired person a pony. I’m a shoo-in for re-election.

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**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\
**Post date:** [December 31, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-doper-became-president/219682/45 "2003-12-31T19:01:05Z")

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Can I be the White House chef?

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