# What if a movie were so bad... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 26, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746 "2006-01-26T20:24:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/1 "2006-01-26T20:24:33Z")
…that not a single person went to see it? I am referring, of course, to the remake of Inspector Clouseau starring Steven Martin. Just seeing the commercial for this thing made me weep for my species. Is it conceivable that even a single person will pony up $7.00 to watch this? I guess I just don’t understand the business model here. Can someone explain it to me? ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/2 "2006-01-26T20:29:52Z")
Is it possible that some people like that Wild and Crazy guy enough to go see it? I don’t plan to go to the movie, but it looked better that many movies that have been out lately including Steve Martin’s Cheaper by the Dozen movies. I was a big Pink Panther fan as a kid and I still enjoy seeing then occasionally as an adult. This looks slightly better than the last 2 attempted to resurrect the series. Jim ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/3 "2006-01-26T20:34:50Z")
I forgot the links: [Trail of the Pink Panther (1982) with only archive footage of Sellers](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084814/) [Curse of the Pink Panther (1983)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085384/) [Son of the Pink Panther (1993) with Roberto Benigni](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0108187/) [Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452598/) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/4 "2006-01-26T20:37:49Z")
I used to love the guy but now I’m just embarassed for him. It’s hard to believe that the same guy that played The Jerk, the dad in Parenthood wearing bathmats for chaps, Ruprecht in Dirty Rotton Scoundrels and I’ll even grudgingly give him an okay in LA Story is now confronting us with this drivel. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/5 "2006-01-26T20:49:50Z")
> [@Sal Ammoniac](#): > > …that not a single person went to see it? I am referring, of course, to the remake of Inspector Clouseau starring Steven Martin. Just seeing the commercial for this thing made me weep for my species. Is it conceivable that even a single person will pony up $7.00 to watch this? > > I guess I just don’t understand the business model here. Can someone explain it to me? People will show up. That’s marketing. Also, the business model for films is now: 1. Hype the hell out of the opening. People will respond to the hype. You’ll get in a week before the word of mouth kills it (though with text messaging, the word of mouth travels much faster and this may not work soon). 2. Make your money on DVD sales. Any movie featuring a big star is going to be purchased by all movie rental outlets in the country – probably several copies for each. 3. Foreign markets love US films with slapstick/action. Make money there. 4. Plan your budget to take 1-3 into account. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/6 "2006-01-26T20:53:55Z")
As far as Steve Martin is concerned, his early films were crap. Then he started making some good ones. He’s gone back to ever worse crap these days, as he joins the bunch of actors who end up selling out to do “family entertainment” and homogenize their image. OTOH, he may have had to do these so he could get **Shopgirl** released. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/7 "2006-01-26T20:55:21Z")
**RealityChuck** , you’re making me cry. You’re saying people will really respond to the marketing – the marketing I saw on TV – by actually going to the theater and paying their money? Or, more shockingly, by buying the DVD and bringing it home? Maybe you can brighten my day by suggesting some legal method to remove these people from the breeding pool. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/8 "2006-01-26T20:58:31Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I used to love the guy but now I’m just embarassed for him. It’s hard to believe that the same guy that played The Jerk, the dad in Parenthood wearing bathmats for chaps, Ruprecht in Dirty Rotton Scoundrels and I’ll even grudgingly give him an okay in LA Story is now confronting us with this drivel. Could be worse; could be Raul Julia in his final starring role, as the evil M. Bison from **Street Fighter.** ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/9 "2006-01-26T21:10:38Z")
My six-year-old daughter wants to see this, based solely on the commercials she’s seen for it. Maybe I’m a sentimental old fool, but I’d prefer she was not removed from the “breeding pool,” if you don’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Sal\_Ammoniac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Sal\_Ammoniac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sal_Ammoniac)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/10 "2006-01-26T21:25:58Z")
**Rufus** , there would be an automatic exemption for those under the age of 12. But seriously, would you take her to see it, knowing you would have to see it as well? And by the way, I think it’s rated PG. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/11 "2006-01-26T21:30:35Z")
The previews didn’t look bad to me. Frankly, the original Pink Panther movies weren’t what you’d call sophisticated. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/12 "2006-01-26T22:31:56Z")
You could make a movie with a clock ticking for 2 hours and someone would go to see it. People go to see bad horror and action movies all the time(Underworld 1/2, Bloodrayne, Van Helsing). People went to see Alexander and that was pretty pointless in every way possible(and I say that as a fan of historical epics). People went to see DOOM(I might rent it on DVD, and get drunk, but a theater is out of the question). I’ve gotten to a point where I’ll see a commerical for a bad movie and say “#1 at the box office”. I’ll usally be right. Besides, The Stever Martin Pink Panther movie could be funny(Likely it’ll be stupid, but hope is still in the box), but I’ll wait for the reviews before I make an judgement. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/13 "2006-01-26T22:43:30Z")
This movie was originally supposed to be out last summer in August. I think the studios new it was a stinker and pushed it into the ‘no competition’ January season. As I recall this flick was originally Martin’s idea. He actually went to a fellow producer and told him he wanted to do this project. The Peter Sellers versions were all about deadpan comedic timing and did it right. From the advertisements for the Martin version it appears he really missed the mark. ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/14 "2006-01-26T22:52:04Z")
Martin does a lot of “paycheck” movies, but manages to sneak in some sophisticated or artistic films in between. Man’s gotta eat. In the last decade, he has done: The Spanish Prisoner Bowfinger Novocaine Shopgirl I didn’t care for the Spanish Prisoner, but Mamet is considered high class. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/15 "2006-01-26T23:00:33Z")
Ilove me some Steve Martin. Dude’s versatile, you gotta admit. But frankly the only thing more painful than seeing Peter Sellers do an intentionally bad French accent is watching Steve Martin waste his own exquisite bad French accent in what will only look like a Peter Sellers impersonation. He would have been wonderful as the original, but I really can’t bear to think of him doing it now. ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2006, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/16 "2006-01-26T23:56:52Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > People go to see bad horror and action movies all the time(Underworld 1/2, Bloodrayne, Van Helsing). Awww, c’mon! I _loved_ **Van Helsing**. That’s been sitting on my Tivo Now Playing List for three months now. 😛 You’re right about the other two, though. Sing a song of suckpence, those movies stunk. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/17 "2006-01-27T00:00:37Z")
> [@middleman](#): > > Martin does a lot of “paycheck” movies, but manages to sneak in some sophisticated or artistic films in between. He also writes clever, classy plays for theater. I’m doing his _Picasso at the Lapin Agile_ right now (I’m Einstein). Great piece of writing. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/18 "2006-01-27T00:46:48Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > People go to see bad horror and action movies all the time(Underworld 1/2, Bloodrayne, Van Helsing). I cannot believe you just lumped _Underworld_ in with those movies. For the love of god man. > [@What Exit?](#): > > I don’t plan to go to the movie, but it looked better that many movies that have been out lately including Steve Martin’s Cheaper by the Dozen movies. Upon reading the rollover preview of the OP I immediately came in to state that it looks 100X’s better than _Cheaper by the Dozen 2_. And I mean that in the same way that an ant is 100 times stronger than a termite. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/19 "2006-01-27T01:47:07Z")
> [@Sal Ammoniac](#): > > **Rufus** , there would be an automatic exemption for those under the age of 12. But seriously, would you take her to see it, knowing you would have to see it as well? And by the way, I think it’s rated PG. Well, speaking as an unfortunate person who sat through Dana Carvey’s _Master of Disguise_ six freaking times because it was her favorite movie of all time when she was three, I can say, without reservation, that I would have no problem taking her to see this. I have developed some heavy scar tissue on the brain from watching many many many bad films. I’m cool with it. I’m cool with the PG rating, too. She can handle it. I admit, even though I’ve been a pretty big Steve Martin fan for almost 30 years, I think the trailer makes this look like one very unfunny comedy, and if no one else in my family wanted to see it, I definitely would not go out of my way to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2006, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746/20 "2006-01-27T02:06:41Z")
It has been claimed (in Pollock’s _Skywalking_) that nobody went to see _American Graffiti 2_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-a-movie-were-so-bad/341746.md?page=2)