# What if all movies were merchandised like Star Wars **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 28, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521 "2006-02-28T21:27:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/41 "2006-03-07T15:42:45Z")
**Bates Motels** “We’ll leave the shower on for ya!” … ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2006, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/42 "2006-03-07T15:52:21Z")
[_Philadelphia_ action figures](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93lphiladelphia.phtml) ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/43 "2006-03-08T03:49:18Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > **Bates Motels** > “We’ll leave the shower on for ya!” You can actually buy OTTOMH Bates Motel- keychains slippers terrycloth bathrobes shotglasses shower curtains (white with a trime of BATES MOTEL in blue) You can also buy Norman Bates action figures and models “Mad Mother” shower curtain- white with Mom’s silhoutte (complete with knife) printed life size in black. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/44 "2006-03-08T20:21:12Z")
The _Texas Chainsaw_ . . . nah, too easy. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/45 "2006-03-08T20:28:17Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > The _Texas Chainsaw_ . . . nah, too easy. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre already has- Comic books Numerous action figures (some with digital sound chips) Models AND A video game for the Atari 2600, I don’t know the dates OTTOMH, but this game couldn’t have been released more than a few years after the movie was released. AFAIK- No hardware company has ver made an official Leatherface model chainsaw. However, I know that in later films the prop was modified into ‘The Excalibur Chainsaw’ and was no longer practical or safe to use for actual cutting. Many horror movies are heavily merchandised, largely due to demand by fans. The only reason I didn’t jump on an earlier post about an Exorcist actiong figure is that it specified a production date simultaneous with the release of the film. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_A\_Tame\_Lion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e36b37/32.png) [@Not\_A\_Tame\_Lion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_A_Tame_Lion)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/46 "2006-03-08T20:32:04Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > If all movies were marketed like _Star Wars_, I could finally get that _Remains of the Day_ lunchbox. I’ll give ya some props for that one, **adam**. 😃 That was the first thing that popped into my mind, too. Definitely the funniest thing in _Waiting for Guffman._ ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/47 "2006-03-08T20:48:51Z")
> [@adam yax](#): > > If all movies were marketed like _Star Wars_, I could finally get that _Remains of the Day_ lunchbox. I actually had a _Yellow Submarine_ lunchbox when I was little. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/48 "2006-03-08T20:54:30Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > I actually had a _Yellow Submarine_ lunchbox when I was little. Matchbox or one of the other toy car companies made a Yellow Submarine when the movie was released. IIRC it had a pop up periscope. ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/49 "2006-03-08T20:56:27Z")
Wolf Man corn flakes: “The cereal that eats you!” Star Wars Deluxe Edition time machine: “Don’t like how your day turned out? Go back and change it. (Takes 1600 AA batteries)” ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/50 "2006-03-08T21:09:49Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > Wolf Man corn flakes: “The cereal that eats you!” The Wolf Man and the rest of the Universal Studios Monsters ARE as heavily merchandised as star wars. From the original release of the films continuing to the present there have been- comic books, models, more models, costumes, make up kits, deluxe masks, posters, more posters, action figures, PEZ dispensers, cereal box premiums, rings, t-shirts, lunch boxes, merchandising tie-ins with cereals and cookies, and candies, candies made in monsters shapes, official USM cookies, official USM fruit snacks, and going with recent trends from Japan- USM Kubricks (think of the action figures that come in Lego sets), and trading figurines (small statuettes which come in tiny boxes. There’s no way to know which figure you’ll get until you open it). Cand I buy a Wolf Man figure with missile glider cape? No. But in the old line I can pick between regular and with glow in the dark face. In the most recent line I can pick between regular, black-and-white, bobblehead, black and whiet bobblehead, keychain, or black and white keychain. > [@](#): > > Star Wars Deluxe Edition time machine: “Don’t like how your day turned out? Go back and change it. (Takes 1600 AA batteries)” When does anybody in Star Wars use a time machine? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/51 "2006-03-08T21:21:48Z")
> [@LiveOnAPlane](#): > > Star Wars Deluxe Edition time machine: “Don’t like how your day turned out? Go back and change it. (Takes 1600 AA batteries)” I realized that you might be trying to make a point that Vader never used a missile-firing-glider cape either. However, the idea of an article of clothing is that becomes a missile-firing-glider is not out of line with the Star Wars universe in general, and especially not out of line with the junior toy line this figure is a part of. Jango and Boba Fett both wear armor which can deploy glider wings, and does fire missiles. Vader doesn’t use a missile-firing-glider cape not because it would clash with technology or tactics shown in the film, but because it doesn’t fit his personality. He doesn’t show up and personally destroy the enemy. He sends in a bunch of stormtroopers. ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/52 "2006-03-08T23:32:50Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > … > > When does anybody in Star Wars use a time machine? Sorry if I wasn’t more explicit. I was referring to George Lucas and his remakes/changing of the original…like all of a sudden, “Hal did not fire first!” Nice when you can redo things to your liking…that’s what I meant. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/53 "2006-03-08T23:44:38Z")
**LiveOnAPlane** Ah, I see what you mean. What about- New! The Star Wars Digital Editor! Now, you can change the films to match your vision! Don’t like blasters? Change them to walkie talkies! Think Han should have shot first? Now, you can edit the scene so that Han not only shoots first, he shoots of Greedo’s hands, blows out his kneecaps, and finishes him off with a tough guy line and a shot to the head! Ever wonder what it would have been like if Lucas had cast Christopher Walken as Han? Now, you can see for yourself! Ever wished Boba Fet had more lines? Now, you can beef up his role! Sick of the nudge nudge wink wink nature of Threepio’s homosexuality? You can edit him right out of the closet! But wait! Best of all, you can make a certain Gungan disappear! Meesa say ‘No more Jar Jar!’ And if people disagree with your changes, just insist that these are the movies Lucas intended to make all along! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/54 "2006-03-09T00:15:11Z")
The _Casablanca_ Home Roulette Game. Now you too can be shocked, _shocked_, to find gambling occurring in your very own home! The _Miss Congeniality_ Beauty Kit. Your daughter will have hours of beauty pageant fun. Comes complete with gown by Dior, shoes by Manolo, makeup by Max Factor, and sidearm by Colt. The _Paper Chase_ Home Study Law Course. Study to be a lawyer in the comfort of your own home. Course includes forty-eight pounds of casebooks and a CD of John Houseman repeating such gems as “You teach yourselves the law, but I will train your minds.” _Animal House_ Beer! Now in cans that have been specially constructed to allow for crushing on your head! And one that just seems to suggest itself with no further explanation: _Scent of a Woman_ Perfume. ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/55 "2006-03-09T00:18:02Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > **LiveOnAPlane** > > … > But wait! Best of all, you can make a certain Gungan disappear! Meesa say ‘No more Jar Jar!’ > > And if people disagree with your changes, just insist that these are the movies Lucas intended to make all along! With you 100% on that! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2006, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521/56 "2006-03-09T00:24:53Z")
**LiveOnAPlane** There is a fan edited version of Episode 1 which cuts any mention of midichlorians, virgin birth, and has the Gungans speaking in an alien language which is subtitled. It’s called The Phantom Edit. It’s illegal and Lucas hates it. But copies can be found at conventions and on various sites. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-movies-were-merchandised-like-star-wars/346521.md?page=2)