# What if all the spiders decided to kill me? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757 "2013-07-28T22:10:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/21 "2013-07-29T01:21:37Z")
I wonder how much area you could cover with a barrel of Sevin dust? ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/22 "2013-07-29T01:23:45Z")
What about some sort of sacrifice, peace offering, etc ? ---
**Author:** ![coremelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@coremelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coremelt)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/23 "2013-07-29T01:29:55Z")
Actually, if we take the OP literally I think they could survive. If the spiders are coming towards you by an unstoppable urge, they are not waiting and hunting for food. 99.9999 percent of them will die of starvation on the march. You need to only worry about the ones close enough to walk or leap to your current location without starving. Once you kill off the few million that were close enough to reach you, if you stay put the rest will die before they reach you. To kill the first million or so, spray your house in a ring with pesticide, seal up the entrances as best you can with watertight silicon spray. Kill any that were already in your house or that slip through manually with slippers and spray. Luckily the starving spiders outside your house will help to reduce their own numbers through canibalism. Vast swarms of birds will also arrive to feast on the cocoon of spiders covering your house. Eventually they’ll all die of pesticide, bird predation, starvation or cannibalism. After a month or so all the spiders in the world will go extinct (since they weren’t stopping to mate or hunt and were just marching uncontrollably towards you) and you can come out. The extinction of spiders will cause mosquitoes and flies to swarm uncontrollably and may well have severe effects on the ecosystem that we can’t predict, but at least you won’t be followed anymore 😉 ---
**Author:** ![dstarfire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dstarfire/32/5762_2.png) [@dstarfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dstarfire)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/24 "2013-07-29T01:37:29Z")
My advice would be to make tracks for the nearest bird sanctuary. Maybe call the local zoo and ask to camp out in their small bird enclosure for a while. Grab a gas mask so you can breath without inhaling the little buggers, and try funnel the little guys toward the bigger ones (maybe their prey drive override their hatred of you for a bit). ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/25 "2013-07-29T02:12:41Z")
Are you ok with scuba diving? You could wait it out at [an underwater hotel](http://jul.com/). ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/26 "2013-07-29T02:36:30Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > Are you ok with scuba diving? You could wait it out at [an underwater hotel](http://jul.com/). Sadly, this is useless against our [eight-legged oppressors](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diving_bell_spider). ---
**Author:** ![coremelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@coremelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coremelt)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/27 "2013-07-29T03:47:05Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > When the question occurred to me I was thinking that they just had an instinctual urge to kill me, rather than any logical plan, so I don’t really see them waiting for a boat to come along. They are still just spiders, rather than super smart spiders. If this is literally true there is any number of ways to avoid them by keeping moving continuously faster than they can move (eg on a circle line train). Eventually they’ll all starve to death chasing you unless they are smart enough to wait for you to come back around. The biggest problem is going to be for any plan to succeed you are going to need help from other non spider-chased people and to be fair I think that if this really started happening most peoples reactions would be to offer you up in sacrifice to appease the spider god lest the same started happening to them 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/28 "2013-07-29T15:38:54Z")
I have a solution and I"m willing to work with the OP on this, since I suffer from arachnophobia and think all spiders should be killed. We’ll simply put \*\*bucketybuck \*\*in a plastic bubble (like that kid in the movie “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble”) and as the swarms of spiders approach, I will be waiting in a beekeeper suit with a huge supply of Cyonara poison. This could take some time, since we’ll have to wait for all the spiders from all over the world to make the pilgrimage, but I estimate that within 6 months, we could have a spider-free world. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/29 "2013-07-29T16:39:56Z")
The logistics of this are interesting. If you are in north america, spiders in africa aren’t a big threat - where would they get the money for a plane ticket? If the spiders decided to just suffocate you and were just going to use the spiders inside a radius of X. How big would X have to be in a typical temperate region? I don’t need answer fast. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/30 "2013-07-29T16:56:26Z")
There was a horror story I read once - I forget who by or what it was called - based on the premise that spiders suddenly became social creatures like ants. It didn’t go well for anything that got in their way. But let all the arachnophobes out there console themselves with the thought that it couldn’t possibly happen. Could it? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/31 "2013-07-29T17:22:26Z")
I can imagine the first moments of joy upon entering the plastic bubble. Any spiders that manage to make it in before the entrance is sealed are quickly squished. We see outside spiders climbing the plastic, but stymied. The problem with the plastic bubble is the need for some sort of an air supply. Even if it is filtered to prevent a clear pathway into the chamber, it can become clogged with enough insects to stop working. Suffocation follows. This would be the case with any type of sealed saferoom, really. It’s also the downside of a gas mask or a beekeeper’s uniform. You could get overwhelmed by a crush of insects, clogging your air supply and killing you. So the smart money is not in staying somewhere with good defense – it’s better to stay on the move, ahead of your enemies. ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/32 "2013-07-29T17:40:06Z")
Not sure how reliable but I saw an average spider weight of 5 g and an estimate of 80,000 spiders per acre. I suspect there are enough within commuting distance to crush someone. :eek: ETA: Apparently if you want to know how many spiders are in a given area, at least one website suggested counting the legs and dividing by eight. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/33 "2013-07-29T17:48:48Z")
A US 5-cent piece weighs five grams. A spider that heavy would be pretty big. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/34 "2013-07-29T17:51:28Z")
First of all, **bucketybuck** , if you try the undersea option, remembers that lobsters and crabs are just spiders of the sea. And secondly, why do you think it’s merely hypothetical that all the spiders in the world are going to organize to hunt you down to kill you in revenge for what you did to their fellow arachnid? The one you murdered could be their favourite great aunt who gave them all the great presents. Or the favourite little niece who was always so sweet and entertaining. I’d say a snowball in a supernova has a better chance of survival than you do. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/35 "2013-07-29T18:10:12Z")
> [@The\_Controvert](#): > > I can imagine the first moments of joy upon entering the plastic bubble. Any spiders that manage to make it in before the entrance is sealed are quickly squished. We see outside spiders climbing the plastic, but stymied. > > The problem with the plastic bubble is the need for some sort of an air supply. Even if it is filtered to prevent a clear pathway into the chamber, it can become clogged with enough insects to stop working. Suffocation follows. This would be the case with any type of sealed saferoom, really. The plastic bubble will have a tube connected to an oxygen tank, just like in the movie. But based on your response, I’ve modified the plan to include a moat filled with arachnicide surrounding the bubble. That way, if any spiders get past me, they will drown in the poison moat before reaching **bucketybuck.** , who will be resting safely in the comfort of the bubble. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/36 "2013-07-29T18:17:33Z")
> [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > The plastic bubble will have a tube connected to an oxygen tank, just like in the movie. But based on your response, I’ve modified the plan to include a moat filled with arachnicide surrounding the bubble. That way, if any spiders get past me, they will drown in the poison moat before reaching **bucketybuck.** , who will be resting safely in the comfort of the bubble. I think you’re all being short sighted here. The best option would be for **bucketybuck** to fill out the paperwork for a new life insurance policy naming me as his beneficiary. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/37 "2013-07-29T18:23:44Z")
I suspect that the local spiders would get you before anyone came up with a rescue plan > [@](#): > > Very few people realize just how beneficial spiders really are. According to a study of spiders initiated in England and Holland, there are 131 spiders per square meter, most of which are very small. But, here’s the interesting part: If you average out the actual weight of the “bug juice” consumed by these spiders, then multiply that by the number of square meters in the world where spiders live, you come up with an astonishing figure. Spiders of the world consume over 1,870,000,000 lbs. of bug food PER DAY!! If we say that the average human weighs 150 lbs., then spiders eat the equivalent weight of over 12,400,000 people PER DAY!!! Now, imagine if spiders (and other beneficial creatures, like bats) went on a hunger strike for a week! All those bugs wouldn’t get eaten! > > Spiders, and all arachnids, can breed very rapidly. A spider exhibit at the Smithsonian Institute contended that if a one-acre plot of grass is allowed to grow without being mowed throughout the growing season, there could be, at the end of the period, up to 10 million spiders in there! [http://www.natureofcreation.org/articles/spiders.htm](http://www.natureofcreation.org/articles/spiders.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/38 "2013-07-29T18:27:14Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Say that for whatever reason, every spider in the world decided that I had to die and they were coming for me right now. You can have them, I’ll make sure to open my doors to let anything in my house out and point them in your direction. > [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Please set up a web cam A _web_ cam? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/39 "2013-07-29T18:51:12Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > A US 5-cent piece weighs five grams. A spider that heavy would be pretty big. They’ve been working out? The internet lied to me? There are some really large spiders that pulled the average up? ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757/40 "2013-07-29T18:56:32Z")
Fire. Arm yourself with blow torches and flame throwers. Also, have a couple extinguishers handy just in case. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-all-the-spiders-decided-to-kill-me/664757.md?page=3)