# What if Bin Laden was in the United States RIGHT NOW ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967 "2001-09-21T04:38:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lockfist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lockfist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockfist)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/1 "2001-09-21T04:38:39Z")
I mean, nobody knows where he is right ? The people that do know surely aren’t talking. How sinister it would be if Mr. Bin Laden flew into Canada two weeks ago and drove through the Windsor border. Drove a BMW to New York and checked into a hotel nearby where he could watch his ultimate plan unfold. He shaves his beard, puts on some weight and walks around with a buzz cut and sunglasses all day. Is this really that implausible ? Who would think to look for him \*here[i/] ? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/2 "2001-09-21T04:45:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lockfist \* > \*\*I mean, nobody knows where he is right ? The people that do know surely aren’t talking. > > How sinister it would be if Mr. Bin Laden flew into Canada two weeks ago and drove through the Windsor border. Drove a BMW to New York and checked into a hotel nearby where he could watch his ultimate plan unfold. He shaves his beard, puts on some weight and walks around with a buzz cut and sunglasses all day. > > Is this really that implausible ? Who would think to look for him _here_ ? \*\* Yeaaahhh… what if indeed?! Good thing you’re on our side with that razor sharp mind of yours. You’d better get right down there and keep your eyes open. We’re all counting on _you_ Lockfist. Let us know if you see anything. ---
**Author:** ![Lockfist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lockfist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockfist)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/3 "2001-09-21T07:55:26Z")
Awe **astro** you’re no fun ! You think I’m getting on a plane right now ? I guess we’ll see. Really though, I doubt that guy is still anywhere near where we think he is. Who can say if he’s not in Australia or somewhere in India ? I would like to know why everybody is so sure he’s in Afghanistan. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/4 "2001-09-21T08:17:41Z")
Considering his brand of Islam, I doubt he’d shave off the beard. Maybe Pakistan, India, Egypt or another predominantly moslem nation, but I really doubt he’s here in the US. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/5 "2001-09-21T10:52:54Z")
_What would Osama bin Laden do if he were here right now?_ Is that stuck in everybody’s head now? Excellent! ::_D&R_:: ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/6 "2001-09-21T13:22:58Z")
They said he isn’t in Afghanistan anymore. They think he’s in Somalia, maybe… ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/7 "2001-09-21T13:37:37Z")
Apparently, it isn’t a problem for him to get a flight out of Afghanistan… (you probably have to cut & paste the link) [http://www.reuters.com/news\_article.jhtml?type=humannews&StoryID=236341](http://www.reuters.com/news_article.jhtml?type=humannews&StoryID=236341) ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/8 "2001-09-21T13:41:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*_What would Osama bin Laden do > if he were here right now?_ > > Is that stuck in everybody’s head now? Excellent! > > ::_D&R_:: \*\* You mean like WWBLD bumper stickers? ---
**Author:** ![Kwyjibo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/59ef9b/32.png) [@Kwyjibo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kwyjibo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/9 "2001-09-21T13:58:59Z")
What would Mr. Bin Laden do If was here right now? He’d make fake ID and try to get through That’s what Mr. Bin Laden’d do! Kyle: When Mr. Bin Laden wakes up next week thinking its another day He’s find a rifle up his ass and he’ll be made to pay. Cartman: When Mr. Bin Laden is in his camp saying there’s nothing to be feared Our troops will attack and tie him down And make him shave his beard. Everyone: So what would Mr. Bin Laden do If were here today? He’d be locked up for a century or two That’s what Mr. Bin Laden’d do! ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/10 "2001-09-21T15:19:31Z")
“He shaves his beard, puts on some weight and walks around with a buzz cut and sunglasses all day.” Yeah, sounds like my neighbor, maybe I can ask him out for coffee? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/11 "2001-09-21T15:27:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xizor \* > \*\*Apparently, it isn’t a problem for him to get a flight out of Afghanistan… \*\* That only says a flight was booked in that name. I haven’t heard anything about him having left Afghanistan on CNN. ---
**Author:** ![Reverend](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac8455/32.png) [@Reverend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reverend)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/12 "2001-09-21T15:29:36Z")
lol **Maximum Override** , good one ! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bin-laden-was-in-the-united-states-right-now/82967/13 "2001-09-21T23:07:31Z")
He could sell Afghan rugs for a living.