# What if Bush is caught **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450 "2005-09-26T05:38:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/41 "2005-09-27T01:38:21Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > Define “caught”. > > Bush I was “caught” having a long term relationship with his government paid aide Jennifer Fitzgerald which was not reported in the mainstream media during the time from when he was the US envoy to China thru his presidency. That’s at least 18 years of tax-subsidized “getting it on.” He also had many other short-term affairs. > > Bob Dole had an affair while still married to his first wife. The media knew about this but did not point this out during his 1996 presidential run even though his opponent’s past was considered fair game. > > In short, it depends on what party you belong to. Bush II is a Republican. He can get away with whatever he wants. Didn’t Cecil do a column on this one and conclude there was no real evidence, just rumors (and not many of those)? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/42 "2005-09-27T01:44:01Z")
> [@ITR champion](#): > > As for Faux News, that more spotty. I doubt they would ignore the story, as Faux news goes in for mindless glurge stories as much as the next cable news network. Their pundits would, of course, try to spin every development in the Bush sex scandal in the manner most positive towards Bush. How exactly does one spin a presidential sex scandal so that it’s positive toward the president? Why don’t you flesh that idiotic idea out for us a bit. Give us the headlines and the lead story lines. Is it something like: BUSH SEEKS THE LOVE THAT LAURA NEVER GAVE HIM. It’s all HER fault. Something like that? Yeah, right… ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/43 "2005-09-27T03:53:08Z")
Ever wonder why Bush takes so many long vacations - just about a year’s worth so far in his presidency? Why a guy who’s so well coordinated he became a fighter pilot, yet these days he falls off his bike? Or whatever? > **[BUSH'S BOOZE CRISIS | National Enquirer](https://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/bushs-booze-crisis/)** > > By JENNIFER LUCE and DON GENTILE Faced with the biggest crisis of his political life, President Bush has hit the bottle again, The National Enquirer can reveal. Bush, who said he quit drinking the morning after his 40th birthday, has started boozing... And before you dismiss the National Enquirer out of hand, keep in mind that they are among the least sued major publications in the US. Which means when they publish, they tend to get it right—the first time. The squestions above are mine, by the way, not the the Enquirer’s. But read the article yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/44 "2005-09-27T05:17:17Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Putting political pitting in its proper place-The BBQ Pit. I guess nobody loves this thread. I was about to move it to IMHO. I guess I’ll let it bunk here, though. Lynn For the Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/45 "2005-09-27T05:35:54Z")
> [@E = mc²](#): > > Ever wonder why Bush takes so many long vacations - just about a year’s worth so far in his presidency? No. Because I’m smart enough to realize that a president’s vacation isn’t like yours or mine-- he still does his job, just in another place. Obviously, you aren’t smart enough to understand that. > [@](#): > > Why a guy who’s so well coordinated he became a fighter pilot, yet these days he falls off his bike? **Or whatever?** Emphasis added. Are you contending that no figher pilot ever falls off his bike? Or whatever? Not only am I smart enough to figure out the vacation riddle, I’m also an experienced enough cyclist to know that all of us fall off our bikes from time to time. Or whatever. > [@](#): > > And before you dismiss the National Enquirer out of hand, keep in mind that they are among the least sued major publications in the US. Which means when they publish, they tend to get it right—the first time. Uhm, no, it doesn’t mean that. Or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/46 "2005-09-27T05:43:26Z")
Forgot to add to that last part… What it means is that 1) they hire very good lawyers making it extremely expensive to sue and 2) most people don’t bother to sue because only complete morons like you believe the stories in the first place. Or whatever… ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/47 "2005-09-27T10:09:16Z")
The Enquirer actually has a fairly good investigative reporter team. God only knows why, but they have, in the past, broken stories now and again, on real news subjects. Is this one of them? I don’t know. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/48 "2005-09-27T10:17:58Z")
The National Enquirer story is being pursued by other newspapers. It’s only a matter of time before it gets more major coverage. I happen to believe it. I know an alcoholic that has been dry some 30 years and is quite active in AA. He tells me that Bush is without question a “dry drunk”. I’m not saying that alcoholics absolutely cannot dry out without AA, but they have the best track record of all. Since Bush never went to AA, I’d say his sober time will be of limited duration. The Scottish bicycle accident should have been a wakeup call. I find it hard to believe that someone as athletic as he could have such an accident sober. He recently stumbled getting off a plane in San Diego. His New Orleans demeanor seemed to me somehow odd, the more I think about it the more I think he was recoveing from a bender. [The Smoking Gun](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/bush/bush.html) has some interesting links and video documenting old D Dubya I. The Katrina debacle was the last straw for someone in the inner circle. They couldn’t take any more and leaked the story. I predict in two weeks that will be all the nation talks about. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/49 "2005-09-27T10:20:30Z")
See post #33 above. > [@Cardinal](#): > > Didn’t Cecil do a column on this one and conclude there was no real evidence, just rumors (and not many of those)? ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/50 "2005-09-27T10:35:11Z")
Anyone who loses a truth-telling contest with Saddam Hussein and _still_ gets re-elected could surely be fellated by his own mother, sans dentures, and survive politically? ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/51 "2005-09-27T11:12:52Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > First, I didn’t say he had Christian morals, just that he had morals. > Second, he has done NONE of the things you accused him of. Yeah, right… and the Easter Bunny is banging Mrs. Claus while Santa is out… ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/52 "2005-09-27T13:39:03Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > The National Enquirer story is being pursued by other newspapers. It’s only a matter of time before it gets more major coverage. Yeah, we’ll see about that. > [@](#): > > I happen to believe it. You happen to be highly partisan, too, and given to believe anything bad about Bush. > [@](#): > > I know an alcoholic that has been dry some 30 years and is quite active in AA. He tells me that Bush is without question a “dry drunk”. Well, that settles it right there. Your friend (who has never met Bush) knows this “without question”. Perhaps that’s the problem-- the unwillingness to question part. > [@](#): > > The Katrina debacle was the last straw for someone in the inner circle. They couldn’t take any more and leaked the story. I predict in two weeks that will be all the nation talks about. Wanna bet? ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/53 "2005-09-27T13:42:51Z")
> [@Who\_me?](#): > > Yeah, right… and the Easter Bunny is banging Mrs. Claus while Santa is out… I would not be surprised to see Bun-bun considering this. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450/54 "2005-09-27T19:23:41Z")
> [@Scott Plaid](#): > > I would not be surprised to see Bun-bun considering this. Nah, Bun-bun isnt the GMILF type. [Santa’s daughter,](http://www.jinglebelle.com/igloo.html) on the other hand… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-bush-is-caught/323450.md?page=2)