# What if glass was alive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 7, 2023, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285 "2023-04-07T01:43:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/1 "2023-04-07T01:43:29Z")
What would happen if somehow all glass suddenly became alive? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/2 "2023-04-07T01:50:40Z")
A lot of it would be in pane. This sounds remarkably like some of the deep questions my college roommates and I pondered at 3 am after too much trashcan punch and too few women. ---
**Author:** ![Francis\_Vaughan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/francis_vaughan/32/3093_2.png) [@Francis\_Vaughan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francis_Vaughan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/3 "2023-04-07T01:54:17Z")
Too broad a question. What are you defining as glass? Glass isn’t just the transparent silica based materials we associate with the term. What does alive mean? At base, able to reproduce itself is often used. In which case glass production might become cheaper. We could farm it. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/4 "2023-04-07T01:54:46Z")
[![](https://i.redd.it/r7fbnv1e76031.jpg) ](https://i.redd.it/r7fbnv1e76031.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/5 "2023-04-07T02:08:04Z")
If glass were alive, there might be a lot of Glass-Rights-Activists. They’d demand we stop using glass for construction and substitute some other material instead. ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/6 "2023-04-07T02:15:22Z")
I don’t see a factual question here. Moved to IMHO (from FQ). ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/8 "2023-04-07T02:22:30Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > What would happen if somehow all glass suddenly became alive? Isn’t the answer clear? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/9 "2023-04-07T02:49:06Z")
This question shattered me. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/10 "2023-04-07T03:03:11Z")
Glass blowers would be questioning their life choices. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/11 "2023-04-07T03:20:29Z")
Would they be considered sex workers? ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/12 "2023-04-07T12:10:34Z")
They would immediately be divided into half full and half empty tribes. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/13 "2023-04-07T12:13:49Z")
[The Devil in the Dark](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Devil_in_the_Dark#Plot) Fun fact: DeForest Kelley kept referring to them as _silicone_ nodules. They were actually silicon nodules. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/14 "2023-04-07T12:30:17Z")
‘Shattering the glass ceiling’ and defenestration would be hate crimes. > [@LSLGuy](#): > > This sounds remarkably like some of the deep questions my college roommates and I pondered at 3 am after too much trashcan punch and too few women. This sounds remarkably like some of the deep questions my college roommates and I pondered at 3 am after too much trashcan punch, copious incinerated herbal substances, and too few women. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/15 "2023-04-07T12:39:39Z")
What if glass was alive? Minnie Riperton would be a serial killer. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/16 "2023-04-07T12:49:15Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Minnie Riperton would be a serial killer. As would be the patrons of Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/17 "2023-04-07T12:50:16Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > What if glass was alive? > > Minnie Riperton would be a serial killer And [Memorex would be a deadly weapon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhfugTnXJV4). ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/18 "2023-04-07T13:06:10Z")
Fight scenes in cowboy movies would have to be re-written ,so that the bad guy gets thrown out into the street through the door, not the window. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/19 "2023-04-07T13:23:17Z")
Since glass doesn’t move, has no sensory apparatus and can’t communicate, we would never know. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/20 "2023-04-07T13:32:11Z")
Why do you think it shrieks when you throw a baseball through it? ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2023, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285/21 "2023-04-07T13:53:14Z")
Like Niven’s sessile Grogs, perhaps glass is telepathic. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-glass-was-alive/982285.md?page=2)