# What if God WERE one of us, moron! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 31, 2002, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761 "2002-05-31T18:04:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/21 "2002-05-31T20:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Newton meter \* > \*\*Yeah, but was Jesus “just a stranger on the bus”? Was he “trying to make his way home, like a holy rolling stone”? > > I just about crapped myself with laughter the first time I heard it, and only later realized that it wasn’t a novelty song but an incisive social commentary. \*\* Actually, Christianity teaches us that God and Jesus ARE one of us-“Whatsoever you do to the least of my brother, that you do unto me.” ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/22 "2002-05-31T20:16:23Z")
I like that song quite a lot. Then again, I sang Billy Don’t be a Hero and almost got banned at karaoke last week. Different tastes, man. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Newton\_meter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/57b2e6/32.png) [@Newton\_meter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Newton_meter)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/23 "2002-05-31T21:11:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Actually, Christianity teaches us that God and Jesus ARE one of us-“Whatsoever you do to the least of my brother, that you do unto me.” \*\* Why was that directed at me? Have I indicated in some way that I adhere to some sort of Monophysitism, Docetism, or Apollinarianism? I already _know_ that Christianity teaches that Jesus was one of us, it’s right there in the creed I recite at every mass. Just read my second post in this thread 🙂 Anyway, you’re behind the curve–the OP explicitly _says_ that. **Homebrew** will be along any time to tell you that you’re “6 or 7” hours late. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/24 "2002-05-31T21:23:19Z")
I’m fairly certain I’m not Jesus since not only have I never been to Chicago, I’ve also never been tied up in New Orleans. ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/25 "2002-05-31T21:40:07Z")
> [@](#): > > In the first place, two words: subjunctive voice. If the statement is speculative you don’t say “was” you say “were”. “What if God were one of us?” You should have learned this in junior high school. Not quite. When dealing with if clauses, you only use the subjunctive if what you are describing is contrary to established fact. Otherwise you should be using the indicative. The thorniness of the “god walked among us” question puts this one up in the air grammatically. If you’re an atheist, it’s subjunctive, but if you’re not, it’s indicative. If you’re going to criticize somebody for not following archaic rules of grammar, make sure you’ve got them down yourself first. -fh ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/26 "2002-05-31T21:42:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Newton meter \* > \*\* > I’d hate to argue with you over this, but isn’t the idea that Jesus both wholly _was_ and _was not_ one of us? \*\* I don’t understand the holy trinity thing enough to argue, so I think we’re safe. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/27 "2002-05-31T21:43:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*I’m fairly certain I’m not Jesus since not only have I never been to Chicago, I’ve also never been tied up in New Orleans. \*\* lieu, try to stay abreast of things, hmmm? Jesus just _left_ Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/28 "2002-05-31T21:46:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*lieu, try to stay abreast of things, hmmm? Jesus just _left_ Chicago. \*\* Right, but ya can’t leave if ya ain’t never been there in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/29 "2002-05-31T21:48:10Z")
If god was one of us, someone would have killed him by now. Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/30 "2002-05-31T22:55:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hazel-rah \* > \*\*Not quite. When dealing with if clauses, you only use the subjunctive if what you are describing is contrary to established fact. Otherwise you should be using the indicative. The thorniness of the “god walked among us” question puts this one up in the air grammatically. If you’re an atheist, it’s subjunctive, but if you’re not, it’s indicative. > > If you’re going to criticize somebody for not following archaic rules of grammar, make sure you’ve got them down yourself first. > > -fh \*\* Am I the only one having the _ **Life of Brian** _ flashback here? You know the scene where the Roman centurion finds Brian writing anti-Roman slogans in bad Latin and proceeds to give him a grammar lesson? ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/31 "2002-05-31T23:13:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Am I the only one having the Life of Brian flashback here? You know the scene where the Roman centurion finds Brian writing anti-Roman slogans in bad Latin and proceeds to give him a grammar lesson? Hail Ceasar. If it’s not done by sunrise, I’ll cut your balls off. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/32 "2002-06-01T00:58:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cagiva650 \* > _Joan Osborne fan checking in, and correction please the name of the song is One Of Us_ > > It’s a \* Wild World > So What you gonna do > Son of a preacher Man > Get Up Jack \* and > > - Flyaway \* > as i’m > - Dreamin’ About The Day\* the > - Match Burns Twice\* on your > - Fingerprints > Crazy Baby\* \*\* And _that’s_ a Dada poem. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/33 "2002-06-01T01:36:38Z")
Aside from the grammar question, which I don’t recall being addressed, we [did this one back in 1999](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=173). ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/34 "2002-06-01T07:43:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Am I the only one having the _ **Life of Brian** _ flashback here? You know the scene where the Roman centurion finds Brian writing anti-Roman slogans in bad Latin and proceeds to give him a grammar lesson? \*\* No Tuckerfan, you’re not. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/35 "2002-06-01T09:37:30Z")
whats really funny is that crappy ass song made all the playlists when all the good songs she did were never heard by anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/36 "2002-06-01T14:38:17Z")
I think **Guinastasia** and **Kalashnikov** had the important points I’d have to make here (aside from the virtually irrelevant grammar fact that “if” always introduces a clause in the subjunctive, even when it introduces a clause not contrary to fact. Elizabeth II would have to say, “If I were the Queen…” not “If I was…” even though she _is_. But the key point here is that \*\*the Christians (taken as a group) are to blame for the misinterpretation going on. Jesus according to the teachings about Him did not spend His time standing on a pedestal and being worshipped; He went about trying to do right by people, particularly the people that the religious establishment of the day considered as losers. And more than any other single thing, that was the reason they had Him killed – because He threatened to upset the applecart in which they were in the catbird seat (to mix metaphors thoroughly). I have my hunches that He is back, and reading this board. Despite what Spong says about the improbability of the Second Coming and what the evangelicals have to say about how He’s supposed to return. Because He was, and _is_, one of us – and we are supposed, according to His own teachings, to treat every other person as if they were Him. (And more atheists than Christians seem to be doing that, IMHO.) ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/37 "2002-06-01T20:28:18Z")
> [@](#): > > aside from the virtually irrelevant grammar fact that “if” always introduces a clause in the subjunctive, even when it introduces a clause not contrary to fact. Elizabeth II would have to say, “If I were the Queen…” not “If I was…” even though she is. Hey, I’ll agree that it’s irrelevant, but the OP tries to make it relevant, and if you’re gonna do that, you have to get it right. _If_ does not always introduce a clause in the subjunctive, _that_ can as well… “I insist that the OP be regarded as incorrect.” Furthermore, there are subjunctive clauses not introduced by anything. Perish the thought! Now again, for _if_ clauses, you only use the subjunctive if you’re stating a counterfactual conditional. Otherwise you use the indicative. Queen Elizabeth II should say “If I was the Queen” not “If I were the Queen” because in fact she _is_ the Queen, so the statement isn’t counterfactual. If she says “If I were the King, I’d marry me right away” then it’s all good, because she isn’t the King. Pick up any grammar book and look it up. -fh ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/38 "2002-06-01T23:55:20Z")
**Newton Meter** , it wasn’t so much directed at you as that your post looked to me like a good lead in for my point. 😉 I think the Second Coming happened a long time ago-Jesus has been here the whole time. He’s in everyone-a part of us all, and so, we have to treat one another as if we’re interacting with Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/39 "2002-06-02T02:02:23Z")
So, what if the Queen was one of us? Would she be amused? ---
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761/40 "2002-06-02T07:13:57Z")
No, you’re supposed to use… nevermind. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-god-were-one-of-us-moron/111761.md?page=3)