# What if I ate this toy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 19, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334 "2006-06-19T18:36:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/41 "2006-06-20T13:13:23Z")
Really the answer is pretty simple. You need two of these octopi, one as your potential experimental tako dish, and the other as a control that you just follow the directions on, outside of your body. Watch and see what happens to the control group and say to yourself: “Self, is this something that would be happy inside of my belly, and would I in turn be happy with it there?” ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/42 "2006-06-20T13:36:13Z")
_Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!_ Okay, don’t. Please. But if you do, insult your nearest doctor. Because a Dope without **Inigo** just isn’t a Dope at all. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/43 "2006-06-20T14:09:43Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Watch and see what happens to the control group and say to yourself: “Self, is this something that would be happy inside of my belly, and would I in turn be happy with it there?” [/QUOTE] The test must be done with both simultaneously. So he can say “Self, am I happy that this _is_ happening inside my belly? Honey, do you know the number for 911?” ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/44 "2006-06-20T15:41:51Z")
[QUOTE=Anastasaeon] _Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!_ Okay, don’t. Please. But if you do, \*\*insult \*\* your nearest doctor. Because a Dope without **Inigo** just isn’t a Dope at all. [/QUOTE] (bolding mine) That wouldn’t be very nice of **Inigo**. . . what did his doctor ever say to him? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/45 "2006-06-20T15:47:05Z")
Inigo…listen to Winston…listen to Winston…listen to Winston… ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/46 "2006-06-20T15:48:46Z")
[QUOTE=anyrose] (bolding mine) That wouldn’t be very nice of **Inigo**. . . what did his doctor ever say to him? [/QUOTE] Oh dear. :smack: **Con** sult. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/47 "2006-06-20T15:48:59Z")
[QUOTE=Otto] Expanding octopus, Pop Rocks and Coke. First man in space without a rocket. [/QUOTE] Recent studies have shown that Diet Coke and Mentos are a much more potent fuel mixture than Pop Rocks and Coke. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/48 "2006-06-20T15:53:07Z")
\*\*Inigo \*\* has not checked in since 5pm (EDST) yesterday. Do you suppose he went and did it? and is now in the E/R waiting for the octopus to complete its ‘fantastic voyage’? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/49 "2006-06-20T15:55:06Z")
[QUOTE=anyrose] what did his doctor ever say to him? [/QUOTE] He said, “Okay, I’ll authorize your release this time, but remember I can have you involuntarily commited later on.” Foax, between having a new 'puter and a new camera and being desperately intoxicated last night I was unable to upload a pic of the octopus. Maybe tonight. It IS the same brand of toy shown in **carnivorousplant** ’s post. Except that it’s an octopus, not a ray. After reading all y’all’s thoughtful and compelling posts I have decided to perform an experiment to determine if actual ingestion of the nonexpanded octopus could possibly cause discomfort. Yup, I put the little rascal in a quart mason jar (filled with water) to get a better idea of what the Chinese actually mean by 600%. And then I repotted a Christmas cactus. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/50 "2006-06-20T16:04:06Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] He said, “Okay, I’ll authorize your release this time, but remember I can have you involuntarily commited later on.” Foax, between having a new 'puter and a new camera and being desperately intoxicated last night I was unable to upload a pic of the octopus. Maybe tonight. It IS the same brand of toy shown in **carnivorousplant** ’s post. Except that it’s an octopus, not a ray. After reading all y’all’s thoughtful and compelling posts I have decided to perform an experiment to determine if actual ingestion of the nonexpanded octopus could possibly cause discomfort. Yup, I put the little rascal in a quart mason jar (filled with water) to get a better idea of what the Chinese actually mean by 600%. And then I repotted a Christmas cactus. [/QUOTE] I was hoping by now we’d be getting X-Rays to see that Octopus instead of digital pictures. **Inigo** , if you need a little reassurance I am happy to provide it. There’s a decent Sushi joint down the road. I’ll go and get some Octopus, too. You eat yours and I’ll eat mine. We’ll be in it _together_. You don’t have to do this alone. I’ll be there for you, every step of the way. More or less. ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/51 "2006-06-20T16:15:22Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] And then I repotted a Christmas cactus. [/QUOTE] What?! You never mentioned a cactus before! This…this changes **every** thing. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/52 "2006-06-20T16:44:09Z")
[QUOTE=Winston Smith] I was hoping by now we’d be getting X-Rays to see that Octopus instead of digital pictures. **Inigo** , if you need a little reassurance I am happy to provide it. There’s a decent Sushi joint down the road. I’ll go and get some Octopus, too. You eat yours and I’ll eat mine. We’ll be in it _together_. You don’t have to do this alone. I’ll be there for you, every step of the way. More or less. [/QUOTE] just don’t order the Nagapuki Surprise! ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/53 "2006-06-20T16:45:54Z")
Sweet, lovable, gullible but wacky **Inigo** and his charming but evil buddy **Winston** at the sushi bar… …why, it’s a _sitcom_, I tells ya! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/54 "2006-06-20T16:47:48Z")
[QUOTE=YaWanna] Sweet, lovable, gullible but wacky **Inigo** and his charming but evil buddy **Winston** at the sushi bar… …why, it’s a _sitcom_, I tells ya! [/QUOTE] those wacky sushi eaters . . . ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/55 "2006-06-20T16:49:28Z")
…sponsored by Roto-Rooter? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/56 "2006-06-20T16:53:14Z")
I have to admit that I’m torn. I don’t want to see **Inigo** die of an octopus impaction (band name?), but at the same time, I really want to know what will happen… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/57 "2006-06-20T16:57:53Z")
[QUOTE=moonstarssun] I really want to know what will happen… [/QUOTE] “Ignorance is never better than knowledge.” -Enrico Fermi ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/58 "2006-06-20T16:58:42Z")
[QUOTE=adam yax] Recent studies have shown that Diet Coke and Mentos are a much more potent fuel mixture than Pop Rocks and Coke. [/QUOTE] The news report I saw stated unequivocally that if you consumed them both at the same time, you’d vomit. My kids are hounding me to buy them some so they can try the experiment. However, the report said nothing about what would happen if you ingested Mentos, Diet Coke, and a toy octopus. How can I ever find out? ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/59 "2006-06-20T23:33:09Z")
[QUOTE=gotpasswords] My name is Inigo Montoya. I swallowed an expanding sponge octopus. Prepare to call the producers of the Discovery Channel’s _99 Strangest Things Removed From Human Bodies._ [/QUOTE] Since those specials are produced by LMNO Productions, I expect that when they remove the toy octopus from **Inigo** ’s body, the sound of a screeching cat will be played. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334/60 "2006-06-21T13:24:27Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] My kids are hounding me to buy them some so they can try the experiment. However, the report said nothing about what would happen if you ingested Mentos, Diet Coke, and a toy octopus. How can I ever find out? [/QUOTE] The effort to reraise small children in terms of resources used vs. raising a human to an adult should tell us that you must use your children (guinea pigs) to give us the answers we are seeking. Your children are instinctively aware that they are the dispensable variations here and are trying to do what is right for humanity on the whole. j/k 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-i-ate-this-toy/361334.md?page=4)