# What if instead of being at a "secret location," Cheney is... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495 "2001-10-10T03:16:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/21 "2001-10-12T00:59:45Z")
perhaps he is lurking at chemical plants. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/22 "2001-10-12T01:07:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rocking chair \* > \*\*perhaps he is lurking at chemical plants. \*\* I’ve not heard of that message board. Is it any good? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/23 "2001-10-12T01:08:00Z")
Yeah! Conspiracy theories! whoooo! (Everyone needs a hobby…) I think he’s in a coma from a massive coronary (well, duh) and scientists are presently trying to clone him with the DNA from Winston Churchill(For speeches and the “V” sign.), Franklin Roosevelt (For speeches and the classic cigerette in the teeth pose) and Jesse Ventura ( for the classic off the ropes body slam and kung fu grip.) ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/24 "2001-10-12T02:14:41Z")
i’m not sure, my little pitcher plant, pres. bush suggested that people maybe lurking there and one should alert the proper authorities. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/25 "2001-10-12T02:29:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rocking chair \* > \*\*i’m not sure, my little pitcher plant \*\* Hey, Pal, watch who you refer to as Sarracenia. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/26 "2001-10-12T10:14:12Z")
ah, oops, i knew i shouldn’t have watched fawlty towers, read national geographic, and the sdmb at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/27 "2001-10-13T01:16:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rocking chair \* > \*\*read national geographic, \*\* National Geographic had an article on Sarracenia? Or nepenthes or helio-what-cha-ma-callits, those Aussie things? ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/28 "2001-10-13T02:02:56Z")
During the press conference last night, Bush said something about how he’d welcomed Cheney back from his secure location. I got this image of Cheney being kept in a closet in the Oval Office, allowed out for brief romps in the Rose Garden. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/29 "2001-10-13T02:11:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rosebud \* > \*\* > I got this image of Cheney being kept in a closet in the Oval Office \*\* I think you’re onto something. Bush staged a coup and is now in control instead of Cheney and Powell. He keeps Cheney strapped to a hand cart a la’ Hannibal Lector. Cheney is the most dangerous to Bush. Powell is needed now what with blowing things up and all. Now Bush can play with the hot line and the missile…Oh no. Oh no! ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/30 "2001-10-13T02:38:09Z")
sooooo, cheney will come out of the closet, eh? carnivorousplant, nat. geo. had quite the spread on your people. the pictures were so good i had a diff. time touching the pages. (bug phobia) many, many, hungry plants were shown. i just can’t remember which month, i was reading 3 months worth of nat geo yestaurday. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/31 "2001-10-13T02:52:17Z")
Okay, so I was driving down the highway, and it was kinda late, and getting dark, and starting to drizzle a little bit, when I see this guy walking along the side of the road, with his thumb out. He’s wearing a suit, and he looks like an okay guy, so I pull over to pick him up. He climbs in, and I say “where ya headed?” “My car broke down,” he says. “Just trying to get home.” “Where’s home, friend?” I ask. “Washington, DC,” he replies, with a soft sigh. “Not a problem, sir,” I say with a smile, and start off towards Washington. He’s a quiet sort, I can tell, so we don’t chat much. I did manage to get his name out of him, though. It was Dick. So we get to Washington. I drop him off at a really nice place. “Thanks,” he says. He turned and walked in to the house. I start to drive away, thinking hey, that guy looked familiar. I know I’ve seen him before. But I can’t place him. Then it hit me…hey! That was the Vice-President! Holy Toledo, I just drove the Vice President right to his house! I get back on the freeway, thinking no one, but NO ONE, is going to believe this. I reach for my CD case, and realize…it’s gone. It’s freaking gone. It was there when the VP got in the car, but now, it’s gone. Rat stole my CD’s, man! Freakin’ Assistant Leader of the Free World _stole my tunes!_ Dammit. I _knew_ I should have picked up the guy that looked like Jim Morrison. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/32 "2001-10-13T03:24:34Z")
Strom Thurmond should die, not Dick Cheney. Strom’s all old…and wrinkly, and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/33 "2001-10-13T08:21:48Z")
Tha thought has crossed my mind. I wouldnt be surprised if the USA did try to pull something like this. Maybe we will have to look for sercet clues, kinda like the whole **Paul Is Dead** thing. You know “the walrus was Cheney” ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/34 "2001-10-13T08:25:46Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally Posted by carnivorousplant_ > I think you’re onto something. > Bush staged a coup and is now in control instead of Cheney and Powell. > > He keeps Cheney strapped to a hand cart a la’ Hannibal Lector. Cheney is the most dangerous to Bush. Powell is needed now what with blowing things up and all. > > Now Bush can play with the hot line and the missile…Oh no. > Oh no! Uh oh Bush can blow things up now. That can’t be good. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/35 "2001-10-13T14:10:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mudshark \* > \*\*like the whole **Paul Is Dead** thing. \*\* Persephone: Was he wearing shoes? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/36 "2001-10-13T15:40:48Z")
Ok seriously, has anyone seen Dick since 9/11? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/37 "2001-10-13T17:03:26Z")
> [@](#): > > It crossed my mind that they hustle him off to ICU just in case whenever bad stuff happens. Naah. I’m pretty sure that Cheney is not a member of Opal’s board. Scarey thought: what if **Nu Vo Da Da** is really Dick Cheney? Scarier thought: what if **Johnsbury** is? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Violet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Violet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violet)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/38 "2001-10-13T18:05:39Z")
So is this a lost and found: [http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid\_1596000/1596675.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1596000/1596675.stm) ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/39 "2001-10-13T18:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Violet_ > So is this a lost and found: > > [http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid\_1596000/1596675.stm](http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/americas/newsid_1596000/1596675.stm) But that dosent mean he is alive. I still think we should listen to Bush’s speeches backwards to find the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495/40 "2001-10-13T18:19:23Z")
> [@](#): > > Persephone: Was he wearing shoes? Yeah he was, but he did mutter a lot of funny-sounding stuff. Sounded like “I’m very small” or something. Kinda odd. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-instead-of-being-at-a-secret-location-cheney-is/86495.md?page=3)