# What IF our cats took over the SDMB? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 7, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992 "2003-04-07T03:57:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/1 "2003-04-07T03:57:16Z")
Imagine the topics? How do I get my humans to shake the wand and ribbon around? My mommy just got me a little baby sister! Tell me how to assert my dominance! Daddy took me to the vets again. What should I pee on to make him mad? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/2 "2003-04-07T04:03:20Z")
Why do humans\* we don’t recognise feel our heads? [sub]\*Tall cats that walk on 2 legs and only have fur in certain places[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![jmizzou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/edb3f5/32.png) [@jmizzou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmizzou)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/3 "2003-04-07T04:06:06Z")
Well, those hamsters would certainly be running a lot faster (assuming there were any left. . .). ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/4 "2003-04-07T04:06:13Z")
Why does that big blond guy always throw away the animals I kill for him? ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/5 "2003-04-07T04:07:18Z")
Daddy took my brothers down to the river in a sack. Should I be worried? ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/6 "2003-04-07T04:12:16Z")
What are the three words that end in “-eow”. Scratching Post Party Here Mice…play first or go for the kill? I was neutered today (long and depressing) ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/7 "2003-04-07T04:16:41Z")
In which Kitty has a cat fight, literally (warning: TMI) ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/8 "2003-04-07T04:22:33Z")
It’d be but another AOL chat room. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/9 "2003-04-07T04:57:48Z")
I would be virtually sneezing. But, if we installed one of those tracer cursors, they’d all be to busy to post. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/10 "2003-04-07T06:17:03Z")
Ask the Stray Guy! Baxter: Your 15 Minutes Are Up How Much Catnip is Safe? [sub](Followed quickly by a post from **Manny** ’s cat)[/sub] "You @#%! Can't you read the rules?! NO @#% questions about drug use ALLOWED. @#$%. " ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/11 "2003-04-07T06:30:34Z")
My ass fell off today (From [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=174726) thread.) ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/12 "2003-04-07T06:36:37Z")
“The moon is square.”\* [sub]\ ***Handy** ’s cat[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![LadyMack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4491bb/32.png) [@LadyMack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMack)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/13 "2003-04-07T07:19:44Z")
Canned or Dry food. Help me decide. Why can’t I get good Staff? Kittens or not? Birth control issues. Who should have control of the remote? Toilet paper. Over, under, or entertainment? Sharing the bed. Privacy issues. I think the neighbor’s Dog is Hot. Should I worry? ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/14 "2003-04-07T12:18:16Z")
Is this amount of dribble normal? My date with the cute red collar wearing kitty. Do you Spit or Scratch? - a follow up to excessive petting Manx and Sphinx - should they be allowed? Whiskers - Just say no! Is there a Dog? So, there I was, licking my bumhole… (TMI) ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/15 "2003-04-07T12:23:16Z")
I just found out you can get those pink monkeys to get out of bed at 5am by jumping on their bladders. It’s hilarious! This is what you do… ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/16 "2003-04-07T12:29:27Z")
What are those barbs on the end of my penis for? What’s your favourite cat litter? How often does your monkey clean the litter tray? ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/17 "2003-04-07T12:55:10Z")
Litterbox hell. What’s the biggest thing you’ve killed? So, they took me for a ride in the car (TMI). The Calico girl I met last night. I’m in heat… how ya doin? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/18 "2003-04-07T13:01:12Z")
Why does my monkey keep yelling at me to “Shut the f\*\*\* up, already?” My monkey keeps pushing me off his lap. Why does he think what’s on that small glass screen is more important than petting me? ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/19 "2003-04-07T13:12:16Z")
Evil Nazi barnyard mice. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992/20 "2003-04-07T13:13:02Z")
Snowball II or Scratchy? Does Itchy and Scratchy discriminate against cats? The Pit: Itchy, step in here a minute please. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-our-cats-took-over-the-sdmb/166992.md?page=2)