# What if Satan said... "I'm Sorry" **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [February 10, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929 "2011-02-10T19:05:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/21 "2011-02-10T21:32:08Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > What’s he got to be sorry for? He’s doing the job the Lord made him for. You know, being the prosecuting attorney and all that. Yeah, that’s the Jewish approach; that’s because Judaism is monotheistic rather than dualistic. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/22 "2011-02-10T21:36:47Z")
God should apologize. Seems a bit viscous and cruel at times. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/23 "2011-02-10T21:38:30Z")
So you’re saying God is kind of thick and sticky? ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/24 "2011-02-10T21:59:40Z")
> [@K-MAN](#): > > It’s a simple question, do you have a simple answer? > > I’m interested in other peoples thoughts on this subject. I’ve heard many responses before, but never from people that I don’t know… As a Christian Universalist,\* I think Satan _will_ apologize, and ultimately will be forgiven. If this were to fail to occur, then God’s will would have been ultimately thwarted–which is supposed to be impossible. \*Full description: Wishy Washy Liberal Protestant Universalist With Catholic Leanings Who Takes Almost None of it Literally. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/25 "2011-02-10T22:49:25Z")
Satan doesn’t seem to be very powerful. He plays on the weak to do his bidding. (Mwah ha ha ha haaaa…) So why doesn’t god just destroy him? After all, he created him, right? The devil’s fucked with us for years, right? Perhaps god should kill the devil and god should apologize for not doing it sooner. Remember, your devil only exists because your god wants him to. ---
**Author:** ![AlmostPerfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/74df32/32.png) [@AlmostPerfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlmostPerfect)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/26 "2011-02-11T00:09:33Z")
How do you know he hasn’t already? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/27 "2011-02-11T00:19:54Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > What’s he got to be sorry for? He’s doing the job the Lord made him for. You know, being the prosecuting attorney and all that. That’s the confusing part; he seems to be God’s servant (prosecutor, jailer, torturer) and His enemy at the same time. A lot depends on how we are conceiving of Satan. It’s unclear just how, if at all, the Biblical Satan rebelled at the beginning of time. If it’s Milton’s Satan, I don’t think he could say “I’m sorry.” Too proud, better to reign in Hell, etc. If we conceive of Satan as the embodiment of a principle, of evil or of rebellion or both, saying “I’m sorry” would be literally impossible for him. It would be like God saying, “I am not God.” ---
**Author:** ![AlmostPerfect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/74df32/32.png) [@AlmostPerfect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlmostPerfect)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/28 "2011-02-11T00:26:14Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > That’s the confusing part; he seems to be God’s servant (prosecutor, jailer, torturer) and His enemy at the same time. > > A lot depends on how we are conceiving of Satan. It’s unclear just how, if at all, the Biblical Satan rebelled at the beginning of time. If it’s Milton’s Satan, I don’t think he could say “I’m sorry.” Too proud, better to reign in Hell, etc. > > If we conceive of Satan as the embodiment of a principle, of evil or of rebellion or both, saying “I’m sorry” would be literally impossible for him. It would be like God saying, “I am not God.” But could he be the embodiment of a principle? You have to remember that at one point he was an angel up there chillin with God, relaxing and enjoying the good life. If he was that at one point he could return to that. If not that’s equivalent to saying that God can not return the earth to an everlasting paradise as promised in the Bible. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/29 "2011-02-11T11:35:10Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > So you’re saying God is kind of thick and sticky? God can be all things. 😃 > [@BrainGlutton](#): > > It’s unclear just how, if at all, the Biblical Satan rebelled at the beginning of time. Which Biblical Satan are we talking about? ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/30 "2011-02-11T12:40:53Z")
**What If Satan said “I quit”** What whould God do? Bing on the the end of times, or would he find someone else for the Job? What would be the job description? Do you think he has anyone on his shortlist? I think he would offer it to Silvio Berlusconi first and if he refused just force the pope to take it. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/31 "2011-02-11T12:48:05Z")
This thread has made me realise I don’t actually know what the evil acts of Satan are. All I know is that he tempted Eve into eating the apple. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/32 "2011-02-11T15:04:56Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > This thread has made me realise I don’t actually know what the evil acts of Satan are. All I know is that he tempted Eve into eating the apple. Bible don’ **say** that. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/33 "2011-02-11T15:06:30Z")
> [@SecondJudith](#): > > Which Biblical Satan are we talking about? Neither Testament is much help here. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/34 "2011-02-11T15:15:38Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > This thread has made me realise I don’t actually know what the evil acts of Satan are. All I know is that he tempted Eve into eating the apple. The serpent tempted Eve but it doesn’t directly say it was Satan. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/35 "2011-02-11T15:48:23Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > The serpent tempted Eve but it doesn’t directly say it was Satan. The Bible does not say that the forbidden fruit was an apple either. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/36 "2011-02-11T15:58:39Z")
Wow, I read the Bible a long time ago, I can’t remember most of it. I forgot it didn’t say that Satan was the snake, and it wasn’t said to be an apple she ate. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/37 "2011-02-11T16:08:35Z")
[We](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/member.php) [still](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=78978) [wouldn’t](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62742) [let](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=1147899&postcount=9) [him](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=1170306&postcount=83) [post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=46158) [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=45692). Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/38 "2011-02-11T16:08:44Z")
Satan is an instrument of God’s will and can’t do anything God doesn’t want him to do (and didn’t intend for him to do before he created him), so Satan really has nothing to apologize for. That whole “rebelled against God and got cast out of heaven” isn’t Biblical, by the way. Incidentally, the interesting thing about the serpent in Genesis, is that he told Eve the truth after God lied. The serpent is good. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/39 "2011-02-11T16:16:09Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Incidentally, the interesting thing about the serpent in Genesis, is that he told Eve the truth after God lied. The serpent is good. Indeed we now **are** as gods, knowing good and evil . . . kindasorta . . . sometimes . . . ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929/40 "2011-02-11T16:32:58Z")
Maybe God should apologize to Satan. God was censoring knowledge, and punished mankind for eternity when they received knowledge from Satan. It was God who created all the diseases, and who causes all the current day disasters. It was God that deliberately made man imperfect despite knowing what the consequences were. Satan seems pretty benign in comparison: “Hey, dudes, maybe you should put on your thinking cap before blindly following that psychopath”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-satan-said-im-sorry/570929.md?page=3)