# What if somebody DID shoot Bigfoot?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [January 13, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708 "2014-01-13T21:17:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/61 "2017-04-15T03:27:07Z")
> [@Lemur866](#):
>
> I’m dying to know what the great book cover was, since Exapno’s link is dead. The only book covers I can find on google are pretty pathetic: A blue background and a red circle: [https://img.fantasticfiction.com/images/n28/n140647.jpg](https://img.fantasticfiction.com/images/n28/n140647.jpg)
>
> Going with the French title isn’t any better.
I wanted to know the same thing. The cover of the [version on Amazon](https://www.amazon.com/Shall-Know-Them-Capuchin-Classics/dp/0955915678) is different… it looks like a sketch of a guy holding a monkey or something. Thankfully, **Exapno Mapcase** is still around and can help us out.
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### Author:  [@DudeManBro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudeManBro)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/62 "2017-04-15T03:43:14Z")
> [@Lemur866](#):
>
> What exactly do “the authorities” have to gain by keeping Bigfoot secret?
>
> I mean, I get it. We don’t have any evidence of Bigfoot, so if Bigfoot is common, someone must being doing a lot of work to keep the existence of Bigfoot a secret. And who is that someone? “The authorities”.
>
> But who exactly are these authorities? And how, if Bigfoot is a secret, do the lesser authorities know to keep Bigfoot a secret? Like, do local sheriffs and game wardens and wildlife biologists know all about Bigfoot, and know to keep it secret? But how exactly do the authorities enlist the assistance of all these hundreds of low level local dudes, and none of them ever go public, and we don’t have any documents or secret memos from the Illuminati to the Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife ordering them to cover up the existence of Bigfoot?
>
> And if the low level guys aren’t in on it, how exactly do the Men in Black swoop in every time someone finds evidence of Bigfoot? How does it work, logistically?
>
> It makes no sense.
You don’t think a giant hairy monster (???) would upset outdoor recreation or logging business for example?
A bear rummaging through your cooler is one thing. But a wild, manlike being looking at you from behind a tree like a creep. I would probably crap myself (with the bear too).
If Native Americans recognize them as people, and people start insisting they be treated as such, will we have to give them rights? Property?
If they are real; and let’s assume with nearly human intelligence, and seem to know that mixing with humans usually means getting shot, then their elusiveness is a good thing if you want to deny their existance.
They don’t exist. No need to provide protection for giant wood hippies, no need to allocate land, funds or anything. Just confiscate whatever real evidence that rarely ever shows up, explain everything away as swamp gas and weather balloons, done.
Just because one doesn’t believe in them shouldn’t make a person lack all imagination to the “what ifs”. Writers don’t necessarily have to believe in ghosts or shape shifting clown-creatures either.
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### Author:  [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/63 "2017-04-15T03:54:18Z")
> [@DudeManBro](#):
>
> You don’t think a giant hairy monster (???) would upset outdoor recreation or logging business for example?
So you think it’s the local tourism boards that have these vast resources for the bigfoot denial conspiracy?
In truth, proof that bigfoot existed would be the biggest boon to tourism they could ever hope to get. Thousands of people would be flocking to the woods for a chance to see a bigfoot.
And you didn’t answer **Lemur866** ’s question: how do these “authorities” keep the hundreds of people quiet who would have to be in on the conspiracy?
> [@DudeManBro](#):
>
> If Native Americans recognize them as people, and people start insisting they be treated as such, will we have to give them rights? Property?
What problem do you think the “authorities” are worried about if they were given rights? 300 million people in this country already have rights. And if they were recognized as people, then like all people, they would have to pay for property. But I’m sure they could earn a good living on the talk show circuit.
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### Author:  [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/64 "2017-04-15T04:25:23Z")
Would it be legal to shoot a gorilla or chimpanzee if you saw it in a forest in Texas (or the Pacific Northwest)? That is, assuming it wasn’t attacking you.
(Just to clarify, this is not sarcasm or a rhetorical device. I’m actually asking.)
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/65 "2017-04-15T05:23:57Z")
> [@aceplace57](#):
>
> Bigfoot is protected in Washington state.
>
> Most states have laws protecting endangered species. Bigfoot seems pretty elusive and hard to find. Their population must be pretty small, assuming that they exist,
>
> [http://modernnotion.com/dont-shoot-bigfoot-in-washington-its-homicide/](http://modernnotion.com/dont-shoot-bigfoot-in-washington-its-homicide/)
Brought up in [post #26](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17011974&postcount=26) three years ago.
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### Author:  [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/66 "2017-04-15T06:50:14Z")
The weirdest and most mysterious thing about this thread is why it was allowed to remain in GQ. I’m with Musicat on this one. And with all due respect Colibri, finding another species of Tapir in the middle of Amazoinia or reclassifying existing known animals is quite a far cry from finding a Bigfoot in Texas. I’m from Texas, I grew up and hunted every corner of it. I’ve also backpacked and camped in most of it. Even in the depths of the Big Thicket or the bowels of its national forests you will find people. I’ve found almost every kind of skull you can think of, heck I’ve even found an eagle skull. I’ve found bones by the thousands. Every last one of them accounted for in an existing species.
Given that Bigfeets (Bigfoots?) would need to have sustained a breeding population for thousands and thousands of years and remain undetected and leave no remains is just not possible.
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### Author:  [@TSBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TSBG)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/67 "2017-04-15T07:27:06Z")
I’m polluting the thread a little, but I recall reading a scifi story–almost certainly first published in Asimov’s Science Fiction–about an alternate universe in which the Americas was populated not by other humans, but by a relict group of hominids with rather lesser intelligence than homo sapiens, but beyond that of the great apes. A legal and ethical controversy raged and–SPOILER!–it turns out interbreeding is possible.
Anyone got info on this? My patented Lazy Google turned up nothing.
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### Author:  [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/68 "2017-04-15T12:13:20Z")
I believe that in Utah, the hunting season on Bigfoot is the first day which falls after March 31st.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/69 "2017-04-15T12:42:16Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Quoth **White SFL** :
>
> The weirdest and most mysterious thing about this thread is why it was allowed to remain in GQ.
The content of the laws is a factual matter. Why wouldn’t it be in GQ?
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### Author:  [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/70 "2017-04-15T13:42:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> The content of the laws is a factual matter. Why wouldn’t it be in GQ?
Since Bigfoot really doesn’t exist, it’s a hypothetical. Seems like it should go in IMHO.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/71 "2017-04-15T13:48:03Z")
If it _weren’t_ a hypothetical, then it would need to go in IMHO.
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### Author:  [@DudeManBro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudeManBro)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/72 "2017-04-15T13:54:55Z")
> [@markn\_1](#):
>
> So you think it’s the local tourism boards that have these vast resources for the bigfoot denial conspiracy?
>
> In truth, proof that bigfoot existed would be the biggest boon to tourism they could ever hope to get. Thousands of people would be flocking to the woods for a chance to see a bigfoot.
Maybe they aren’t all hippy dippy beings? They have been called cannibals, etc… Potentially Dangerous.
> [@](#):
>
> And you didn’t answer **Lemur866** ’s question: how do these “authorities” keep the hundreds of people quiet who would have to be in on the conspiracy?
.
They mostly dont have to. Smart ass skeptics already mock them enough. Maybe it’s a reputation thing.
> [@](#):
>
> What problem do you think the “authorities” are worried about if they were given rights? 300 million people in this country already have rights. And if they were recognized as people, then like all people, they would have to pay for property. But I’m sure they could earn a good living on the talk show circuit.
They can force bigfoot to pay tax? :rolleyes:
This is of course assuming they are real. Who knows, I haven’t seen one with my own eyes, but do think there may be more to it than just hoaxes.
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### Author:  [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/73 "2017-04-15T14:16:09Z")
> [@chorpler](#):
>
> Would it be legal to shoot a gorilla or chimpanzee if you saw it in a forest in Texas (or the Pacific Northwest)? That is, assuming it wasn’t attacking you.
>
> (Just to clarify, this is not sarcasm or a rhetorical device. I’m actually asking.)
My Google-fu is off this morning, all I’m getting is basketball hits when I look for cites …
I seem to remember many years ago that some folks were out in the woods hunting in Southern Oregon (since renamed Jefferson) … they had licenses, the proper tags and it was in fact bear season … so they shot a bear … so far so good, but when they got to the carcass they noticed right away it was somewhat larger than the usual black bear (they are a bit smaller here on the West Coast) and it was colored a little funny …
Turns out they shot a Grizzly Bear … a pretty serious violation of ODFW regulations … so they turned themselves in right away and they were given a pass on the offense … it was ruled an innocent mistake since Grizzlies hadn’t been seen in Jefferson for nearly a century … and this particular animal was escaped from a nearby wildlife park …
So it is illegal … but that doesn’t mean it’s automatically prosecuted … just don’t be a jackass towards law enforcement officials …
I want to believe that anyone who bags a Bigfoot would promptly deliver it to a local university’s Zoology Department for a proper scientific description to be written out … and this action would clear them of any wrong-doing … although one might still have to deal with a civil lawsuit financed with J.D. Cooper’s money … I’d love to sit in on that hearing regarding standing …
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### Author:  [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/74 "2017-04-15T15:11:01Z")
> [@DudeManBro](#):
>
> Maybe they aren’t all hippy dippy beings? They have been called cannibals, etc… Potentially Dangerous.
Bears are not only potentially dangerous, they’re actually dangerous. And yet thousands of people go hiking and camping in bear-infested forests every year. Some morons even approach the bears and try to feed them.
Anyway, I’m not really following your argument. You’re saying these “authorities” know so much about bigfoot that they know that they’re likely to kill people they come in contact with? How do they know this? Have a lot of people been killed in bigfoot encounters? Why aren’t loggers and hikers who spend a lot of time in the forest also aware of this? And I thought you said earlier that bigfoots avoid encounters with people because they know they will be shot by the murderous humans.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/75 "2017-04-15T16:31:41Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#):
>
> [What did they have to gain by keeping mermaids under wraps?](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088161/)
Wraps, ropes, handcuffs… their kinks are their own business.
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### Author:  [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/76 "2017-04-15T16:56:53Z")
> [@Chronos](#):
>
> If it _weren’t_ a hypothetical, then it would need to go in IMHO.
I can see your point. I’m not criticizing the modding, I just said it seemed strange _to me_.
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### Author:  [@DudeManBro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudeManBro)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/77 "2017-04-15T16:57:53Z")
> [@markn\_1](#):
>
> Bears are not only potentially dangerous, they’re actually dangerous. And yet thousands of people go hiking and camping in bear-infested forests every year. Some morons even approach the bears and try to feed them.
>
> Anyway, I’m not really following your argument. You’re saying these “authorities” know so much about bigfoot that they know that they’re likely to kill people they come in contact with? How do they know this? Have a lot of people been killed in bigfoot encounters? Why aren’t loggers and hikers who spend a lot of time in the forest also aware of this? And I thought you said earlier that bigfoots avoid encounters with people because they know they will be shot by the murderous humans.
Depends on the people, 'squatch and situation.
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### Author:  [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/78 "2017-04-15T21:37:08Z")
> [@Trinopus](#):
>
> Somebody might go after the shooter for violating the terms of his hunting license… (“Does it say ‘Bigfoot’ anywhere on this card?”)
I thought if it didn’t have a listed season and wasn’t on the endangered list it was huntable [perhaps as vermin?]
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [April 15, 2017, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/79 "2017-04-15T22:29:51Z")
Bugs and Daffy tearing posters off a tree:
“It’s Rabbit Season!”
“Duck Season!”
“Rabbit Season!”
“Duck Season!”
“Bigfoot Season!”
"Shhhh! Be vewwy, vewwy quiet. We’re hunting Sasquatch! Hahahahahahaha! "
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2018, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-somebody-did-shoot-bigfoot/678708/80 "2018-12-20T07:11:06Z")
Update: [someone recently nearly shot Bigfoot](https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/nation-world/national/article223287195.html). The primate in question insists that he isn’t Bigfoot, but that sounds exactly like what Bigfoot would say.
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