# What if the SDMB were . . . older? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056 "2007-12-06T18:34:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/141 "2007-12-11T11:11:43Z")
**Will buying indulgences really save my immortal soul from eternal hellfire?** ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/142 "2007-12-11T11:30:01Z")
I can’t believe it’s 1346 and we’re still fighting over the French Crown. God’s teeth, how long is this war going to last? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/143 "2007-12-11T15:50:43Z")
In The Pit: October 30th, 4004 B.C., by **Adam1** My serpent loving trollop of a wife got us banned from The Garden! ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/144 "2007-12-11T16:13:07Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] In The Pit: October 30th, 4004 B.C., by **Adam1** My serpent loving trollop of a wife got us banned from The Garden! [/QUOTE] That was a funny one. That dude got piled on by every member of the board then. Namely Eve1. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/145 "2007-12-11T16:17:07Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] In The Pit: October 30th, 4004 B.C., by **Adam1** My serpent loving trollop of a wife got us banned from The Garden! [/QUOTE] Reply #1 by **A _kai_ W** : Kids. :rolleyes: You tell them they have the _whole_ Garden to enjoy, and just leave one tree, _one_ damn tree alone, and what do they go and do? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/146 "2007-12-11T16:28:41Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Reply #1 by **A _kai_ W** : Kids. :rolleyes: You tell them they have the _whole_ Garden to enjoy, and just leave one tree, _one_ damn tree alone, and what do they go and do? [/QUOTE] Maybe you should try telling them to get off your lawn… ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/147 "2007-12-11T17:54:14Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Maybe you should try telling them to get off your lawn… [/QUOTE] Or telling them the difference between right and wrong so they know it’s wrong to disobey you. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/148 "2007-12-11T18:17:32Z")
Happy Days 9/20/77: I am officially done with this show (_Spoilers!_) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/149 "2007-12-11T19:00:43Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Reply #1 by **A _kai_ W** : Kids. :rolleyes: You tell them they have the _whole_ Garden to enjoy, and just leave one tree, _one_ damn tree alone, and what do they go and do? [/QUOTE] Wasn’t that the thread where **Lightbringer** flamed all over everyone, stomped off to the Pit, and got banned? ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/150 "2007-12-11T19:19:04Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] Wasn’t that the thread where **Lightbringer** flamed all over everyone, stomped off to the Pit, and got banned? [/QUOTE] I remember that guy! Wasn’t he the one who tried various other socks afterwards: **Beelzebub** , and **Beast666** , and such? Anyway, according to a PM I got from **Dante\_A** , he’s hanging out at some place called [Inferno.net](http://Inferno.net) now. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/151 "2007-12-11T19:31:07Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] I remember that guy! Wasn’t he the one who tried various other socks afterwards: **Beelzebub** , and **Beast666** , and such? Anyway, according to a PM I got from **Dante\_A** , he’s hanging out at some place called [Inferno.net](http://Inferno.net) now. [/QUOTE] > [@SexyLips](#): > > Say what you will, I have a lot of Sympathy for Him. Posted by **CharlieD** I met him at a Dopefest in Georgia once. He plays one mean fiddle. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/152 "2007-12-11T19:39:35Z")
I pit MS (ManuScript) Word 1000. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/153 "2007-12-11T20:01:09Z")
Posted by **MylesStandish** Obtaining a lady’s favour: Should I use an intermediary? Posted by \*\* Cyreno Should I get my friend to ask this girl out? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/154 "2007-12-11T20:14:16Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] I met him at a Dopefest in Georgia once. He plays one mean fiddle. [/QUOTE] He’s still king of the snark boards, though. I only went there once; it was horrible. An unending flood of jealousy and negativity. And that’s all I’ll say about that. ---
**Author:** ![vertizontal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ad7895/32.png) [@vertizontal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vertizontal)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/155 "2007-12-11T20:36:26Z")
**I burning your pterodactyl!** ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/156 "2007-12-11T20:38:58Z")
Posted Sept 10, 2001 **I am so sick of Gary Condit/Chandra Levy! I want it to go away!** Posted 79 AD **Pompeiian Dopers! Everyone okay?** ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/157 "2007-12-11T22:33:56Z")
**Will the new science of phrenology change the way we order society?** ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/158 "2007-12-11T22:47:27Z")
Posted in **Cafe Society** on September 15, 1893 by **HogButcherBoy** : Greetings from Chicago, where the World’s Columbian Exposition is now playing host to a Parliament of Religions! So many faiths are represented here that it can be hard to distinguish between their respective tenets. I propose, however, that humor may be both a delightful and edifying way to accomplish my goal. So I’m asking missionaries and scholars of religion to assist me in crafting a few jokes. If you would be so kind, please complete the following jape: _A Mahometan, a Hindoo, and a Heathen Chinee enter a saloon. The publican looks up from the tankard he is pouring and asks…_ Reply #1 from **World Traveler** : The term _Mahometan_ is to be avoided, as the people of Araby do not worship Mahomet as we Christians do Jesus. Please use _Musulman_ instead. Reply #2 from **OrientExpress Fan** : Also, the Musulman’s faith requires that he abstain from intoxicating liquor, so he would be most unlikely to enter a saloon. Reply #3 from **CathayCathy** : To pick yet another nit, the term _heathen Chinee_ is best avoided (especially on a forum which reaches into Asia, where I am currently posted as a missionary). Chinamen and Chinawomen (note the terms) are of many faiths, some of which contain great wisdom. Even though we are seeking (and often succeeeding) to bring these people to Jesus, we find we have more success when we show respect for their old ways, as opposed to simply mocking them in the fashion employed by the likes of [Bret Harte.](http://www.themediadrome.com/content/poetry/harte_heathen_chinee.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/159 "2007-12-11T23:11:07Z")
**Intellivision or Atari 5200?** **Need Advice on Killing Rasputin, Nothing Seems to Work** **Dewey Defeats Truman!** **Lame! Brooklyn Dodgers are Obviously Desperate** **Scipio Africanus Defeats Hannibal! Best General Ever?** **Tracy Ullman Show: What is up with those badly drawn, unfunny cartoons?!** **Should George Washington be President for Life?** **Seriously, Why Would anyone need a 240 MW Hard Drive?** ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2007, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056/160 "2007-12-12T02:42:27Z")
[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus] **Seriously, Why Would anyone need a 240 MW Hard Drive?** [/QUOTE] They’ve got the power level down that low now? Why, only five years ago, people were predicting that it would take a building the size of the Empire State Building and cooled by a veritable Niagara to do the job! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-sdmb-were-older/429056.md?page=9)