# What if the USA were a feudal society? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 15, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829 "2014-06-15T16:37:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/1 "2014-06-15T16:37:09Z")
Say instead of president, Obama is King of America. In feudal societies, kings and queens would issue titles and land to individuals for reasons such as political promotion, alliance deals, rewards of service to the crown, dowries, etc. Presumably, the rich and influential would be given the best rewards, even political opponents the king doesn’t want to piss off. So how would King Obama issue titles and recognize dukedoms and earldoms and such? A few off the top of my head: [ul] [li]Bill Gates would be Duke of Washington[/li][li]Donald Trump would be Earl of Manhattan[/li][li]Arkansas would be a caliphate under the Walton family[/li][li]Texas would be divided among various oil-barons[/li][li]The Koch brothers would be Dukes of Kansas[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![LC\_Strawhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@LC\_Strawhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LC_Strawhouse)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/2 "2014-06-15T16:45:35Z")
Count Rockefeller of New York has a ring to it. The most coveted title would, of course, be the Duke of Hazzard County. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/3 "2014-06-15T16:51:59Z")
[quote=“Knowed\_Out, post:1, topic:690829”] [li]Donald Trump would be Earl of Manhattan[/li][/QUOTE] It would be much more appropriate if King Obama gave The Donald a chiefdom in Kenya.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/4 "2014-06-15T18:31:53Z")
Sure, Tim Berners-Lee got knighted for his development of the World Wide Web. But the real honor would have been naming him the Duke of URL. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Holdsworth\_Effect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/848f3c/32.png) [@The\_Holdsworth\_Effect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Holdsworth_Effect)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/5 "2014-06-15T20:17:46Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Sure, Tim Berners-Lee got knighted for his development of the World Wide Web. But the real honor would have been naming him the Duke of URL. VERY good.:D:D ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/6 "2014-06-15T20:20:25Z")
Wait, the US is _not_ a feudal society? ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/7 "2014-06-15T20:55:37Z")
Obama’s not the King already? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/8 "2014-06-15T21:21:53Z")
What he said. ↑↑↑ ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/9 "2014-06-15T21:44:20Z")
Most of the major cities would probably be Free Cities (as it was in the Holy Roman Empire) rather than personal fiefdoms of anybody. Most of the Chesapeake Bay area would also be under direct control. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/10 "2014-06-15T21:54:35Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Sure, Tim Berners-Lee got knighted for his development of the World Wide Web. But the real honor would have been naming him the Duke of URL. groooooaaaannnn ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/11 "2014-06-15T22:08:20Z")
Sigh… I knew the “aren’t we already in a feudal society” comments would crawl out of the woodwork. I could have named any type of government and the same comments would still germinate. **What if the USA were actually a theocracy run by televangelists?** “Wait, aren’t we already a theocracy run by televangelists?” “What, Obama’s not already the Pope?” yadayadayada ---
**Author:** ![here\_and\_there](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f07891/32.png) [@here\_and\_there](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/here_and_there)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/12 "2014-06-15T23:21:06Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Sigh… I knew the “aren’t we already in a feudal society” comments would crawl out of the woodwork. If you are thinking in terms of land… sorry you are, a few centuries, behind… that was then… If you think in terms of who controls the means that produce wealth. it becomes obvious that the capitalistic societies have become neo-feudal . Who controls the mines, the factories, the commerce companies, the railways, the news corporations, the banks, the entertainment, etc… A few people… And the rest of us work in “their fields”, making them wealthier, while keeping pennies for ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/13 "2014-06-15T23:24:28Z")
If I could be a baron, that would be pretty sweet - kiss my ass parking authority. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/14 "2014-06-16T00:00:03Z")
"Out of my way plebians, I am on _imperial_ business! ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/15 "2014-06-16T10:34:11Z")
> [@here\_and\_there](#): > > If you think in terms of who controls the means that produce wealth. > it becomes obvious that the capitalistic societies have become neo-feudal . > > Who controls the mines, the factories, the commerce companies, the railways, the news corporations, the banks, the entertainment, etc… > A few people… > And the rest of us work in “their fields”, making them wealthier, while keeping pennies for ourselves. Yes, this, sort of. I began to see this coming about 40 years ago, when I was a young adult, living in an apartment building that was owned by some big corporation that was otherwise in the main business of making corrugated cardboard products (I think). I started to notice that more and more, fewer and fewer bigger and bigger concerns owned more of everything, and the rest of us all paid rent to them for everything we want to use (like a roof over our heads). That’s when I began to notice the patterns of which **here and there** speaks. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/16 "2014-06-16T11:40:55Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Yes, this, sort of. I began to see this coming about 40 years ago, when I was a young adult, living in an apartment building that was owned by some big corporation that was otherwise in the main business of making corrugated cardboard products (I think). I started to notice that more and more, fewer and fewer bigger and bigger concerns owned more of everything, and the rest of us all paid rent to them for everything we want to use (like a roof over our heads). That’s when I began to notice the patterns of which **here and there** speaks. Perhaps the country is turning into one gigantic _Company Town_, rather than a feudal state. ‘_Killy_’ by Donald E. Westlake **[was](http://violentworldofparker.com/?p=6345)** one of my favourite books as a child. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/17 "2014-06-16T13:52:09Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > Obama’s not the King already? No, he’s the messiah, haven’t you heard? ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/18 "2014-06-16T14:08:51Z")
Or a very naughty boy, according to the subterranean form of Republican bloggers… ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/19 "2014-06-16T19:43:03Z")
We are definitely a feudal society. I once saw a Serf Theater in Las Vegas NM. [https://plus.google.com/photos/103353440908712928462/albums/5804134077197257377/5804134081472542626?banner=pwa&pid=5804134081472542626&oid=103353440908712928462](https://plus.google.com/photos/103353440908712928462/albums/5804134077197257377/5804134081472542626?banner=pwa&pid=5804134081472542626&oid=103353440908712928462) I ain’t yer vassal So don’t push me around I’ll blow up yer castle If you make me plow yer ground So don’t give me no hassle Because I ain’t yer vassal! I’d rather be a mercenary so I can wage war on those infidels in the city state of Santa Fe. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829/20 "2014-06-18T18:11:57Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Say instead of president, Obama is King of America. In feudal societies, kings and queens would issue titles and land to individuals for reasons such as political promotion, alliance deals, rewards of service to the crown, dowries, etc. Presumably, the rich and influential would be given the best rewards, even political opponents the king doesn’t want to piss off. > > So how would King Obama issue titles and recognize dukedoms and earldoms and such? > > A few off the top of my head: > > [ul] > [li]Bill Gates would be Duke of Washington[/li][li]Donald Trump would be Earl of Manhattan[/li][li]Arkansas would be a caliphate under the Walton family[/li][li]Texas would be divided among various oil-barons[/li][li]The Koch brothers would be Dukes of Kansas[/li][/ul] ISTM that Trump, the Waltons, and the Kochs would more likely be ensconced in the Tower of Washington, awaiting their beheadings. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-the-usa-were-a-feudal-society/690829.md?page=2)