# What if we could all switch bodies? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2000, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943 "2000-01-12T00:59:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/1 "2000-01-12T00:59:00Z")
As I’m (yet again) working late with very little work to do, it suddenly occurs to me - what would it be like if we all had the ability to trade bodies? I’m not talking the standard sci fi story where there’s one person who can snatch another person’s body. I’m wondering, what if it was easy and everyone could do it? I picture a scenario where I come into work “wearing” my SO’s body. “Oh yeah,” I say, “I have to do some heavy lifting later on, so I borrowed SO’s body for the day.” or it could be a commercial venture. I decide I want to do some heavy duty mountain biking while on vacation. In addition to picking up a nice rental bicycle, I also rent out some nice bike racer’s body. I can then bike all day with his body, returning it that night. In the meantime, he gets mine to stroll around in. Hmmm… obvious legal ramifications (what if I break his leg? What if he shoots up heroin into “my” body?) but seeing as this is a virtual impossibility, we don’t have to worry about such things. See what working late does to me? ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/2 "2000-01-12T02:36:00Z")
I used to imagine being in the body of a sports figure at a pivotal moment in the game – taking the snap, making the pass, whatever – but then I realized I’d need their brain too. Damn. Jack Handy’s trying to get in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/3 "2000-01-12T02:47:00Z")
The thought of condemning some innocent soul to _this_ body is so disturbing that I don’t think that I can even contemplate the topic. * * * “Kings die, and leave their crowns to their sons. Shmuel HaKatan took all the treasures in the world, and went away.” ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/4 "2000-01-12T02:52:00Z")
After seeing the last scene of “Being John Malkovich”, this whole topic gives me the willies. * * * Elmer J. Fudd, Millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht. ---
**Author:** ![sly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@sly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sly)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/5 "2000-01-12T03:02:00Z")
I get Michelle’s! ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/6 "2000-01-12T05:33:00Z")
I think bisexuality would start running rampant. I mean, come on, dirty old men taking you teenage girls bodies and then acting on their lesbian fantasies… Great, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/7 "2000-01-12T06:43:00Z")
If it meant letting someone else use _my_ body, no freakin’ way! – Sylence * * * I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/8 "2000-01-12T07:06:00Z")
Hmmm… Well, there’s this guy I work with that I have the hots for. If I could borrow his wife’s body for a night or two… Of course, she would try to stop me from having my way with him, and her being in my body, he would think it was just a cheap ploy on my part… I’d have to lock my body up somewhere, to keep her from interfering with my nefarious scheme. * * * I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/9 "2000-01-13T06:32:00Z")
I’m doing this post to bounce this thread to the top of the list. I think it’s an interesting topic and required further discussion, and possibly the invention of some new technology. * * * I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent ---
**Author:** ![royalbill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@royalbill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/royalbill)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/10 "2000-01-13T06:35:00Z")
Just think of the ramifications for bank robbery… * * * Heaven…One to beam up! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/11 "2000-01-13T06:48:00Z")
Amen that would be cool as fcuk. I would be like switchin’ with everyone and all the time doin weird siht. The possibilties are endless. What if you robbed a bank in someone else’s body? What if you did what that one chic said and borrowed someones body to bang their SO? That would be weird! What if you borrowed some hottie’s body and then got your slut on and gave them clam-idia? That would suck too! -BUT- Think of the cool stuff! –You, as man, could experience multiple orgasms as your female SO! –You, as woman, could experience the concept of parallel parking as your male SO! –Men: Find out if PMS is really bullshit or not! –Women: Get ready for a date in 10 minutes! –Guys: Master the talent of talking for hours without saying anything!!! –Gals: Master the talent of driving for hours and not asking for directions! –Dudes: Enjoy crying at boring movies! –Chics: Enjoy eating at Hooter’s and looking at boobies! And much much more! For just 12 easy payments of 26 Billion dollars! Don’t wait call now, operators are standing bi-!!! Snoogans * * * “I was being honest, @$$hole, I would expect YOU to know the difference.” ~~John Bender in The Breakfast Club. Talk to me, baby! [mcdsanti@hotmail.com](mailto:mcdsanti@hotmail.com) ---
**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/12 "2000-01-13T08:20:00Z")
oh my. i was sitting here trying to find out who SO was. but it’s okay, the situation is currently under control. 🙂 * * * “human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust; we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.” - albert einstein ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/13 "2000-01-13T15:40:00Z")
First, some simple rules – a) You can borrow bodies from the body library of body clones, but not the actual bodies of people living in them. (Eliminates the “returned with damages” and the “you did **what** with my body??” problem). b) You will be perceived as and will be treated as a person of that bodily appearance, but no one will recognize you as a specific other person that they already know. (i.e., you can’t swipe Bill Clinton’s body in order to sign your favorite legislation into law, etc) c) You must leave your current body on deposit at the library, where it will be safe and protected in your absence. Bodies left unclaimed for 90 days will be assumed to be abandoned and will be added to the body library. d) You keep your own mind (otherwise this wouldn’t be very much fun!), so if you check out an infant’s body you don’t lose language awareness, etc. e) Anyone found loitering in the body library with drool on face or in an inappropriate state of undress will be suspected of necrophilia and asked to leave. * * * Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/14 "2000-01-13T15:50:00Z")
See the novel TURNABOUT (c. 1927) by Thorne (TOPPER) Smith. Attractive young husband and wife switch bodies. High-jinks ensue. There was also a fair-to-middlin’ sci-fi take on this by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., in one of the short stories in WELCOME TO THE MONKEY HOUSE. * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/15 "2000-01-13T15:56:00Z")
When I worked at one particularly depressing job, I (like Athena) would come up with brain teasers like this to keep me from killing myself with a staple remover. One question I asked was, “If you could change places with the opposite sex for one day, what would you do?” ( our office was 98% women) One woman said she’d have sex to see what in the hell the entire Big Deal was all about with the guys, but only if the man could become a woman at during the last ten minutes of a natural labor in child birth. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/16 "2000-01-13T16:26:00Z")
I was mainly thinking about what it would be like if EVERYONE could do this… there’s plenty of sci-fi and fantasy novels about individuals who can do this. I’ve never seen a whole world where this was the norm, though. I like the idea of the body library. I also suspect that the sexual part of it would get blase pretty quickly. At first, yeah, everyone would be borrowing Selma Hayek’s and Ricky Martin’s body. But soon the novelty would fall off. However, the useful part of it would continue. Like my original example - I have to carry some heavy boxes today, so I borrowed my SO’s body. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/17 "2000-01-13T16:41:00Z")
Anne Rice’s ‘Tale of the Body Thief’ although I recommend reading the entire Vampire Chronicles to fully appreciate it. * * * If your head is wax, don’t walk in the sun. -Benjamin Franklin ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/18 "2000-01-13T16:47:00Z")
The Vonnegut story DID include a “body library.” Sheesh. You think I’d steer you wrong? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/19 "2000-01-13T17:23:00Z")
I was thinking: what if we could switch the bodies of two other people? 🙂 My choice: trade Slick Willy and Monica right in the middle of one of their dalliances. * * * The Canadians. They walk among us. William Shatner. Michael J. Fox. Monty Hall. Mike Meyers. Alex Trebek. All of them Canadians. All of them here. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943/20 "2000-01-14T06:11:00Z")
Too many rules, AHunter3. I say anything goes. Now, for the question. If, hypothetically, anyone took my idea of borrowing someone’s body to, well, you know, with that person’s lawfully wedded spouse, would said spouse be able to tell? How 'bout it folks? If someone swiped your SO’s bod and got in the sack with you, would you know the difference? I assume that most of you know your partner’s personality, moves, etc. well enough that you would notice that there was something different… * * * [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-if-we-could-all-switch-bodies/12943.md?page=2)