# What in the hell . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 20, 2002, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832 "2002-09-20T16:34:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/41 "2002-09-22T05:45:50Z")
No, pie. Mmmmmmm, pie. Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie. When come back bring PIE! ---
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/42 "2002-09-22T06:18:42Z")
Well **EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME!** ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/43 "2002-09-22T08:04:26Z")
Hey! Dis don’t look like the Coachella Valley to me! [sub]just to continue the Bugs Bunny hijack[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/44 "2002-09-22T12:01:25Z")
[Cop voice on radio] Sarge, I’m going to need backup. This is an ugly-looking crowd.\* Also, they all seem to be heterosexual drug-users.\*\* And more of them keep turning up… [/Cop voice on radio] - I’ve seen the dopefest postings (and they’re not a pretty sight 😉 ) \*\*anyone who doesn’t get this has no right to call themselves a Straight Doper :smack: ) P.S. Uncle Beer, could this turn into another Guy Stuff?! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/45 "2002-09-22T19:10:03Z")
**glee** , I’m sitting here listening to my scanner - I’s gots the whole Cook County Sherrif’s Dept at my beck and call - will you marry me? And um, I suppose I better find out if you’re a guy? Aw hell, marry me anyway. **Milo** never writes, he never calls… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/46 "2002-09-23T05:10:07Z")
[waves hand] These are not the droids you’re looking for. [waves hand again] You never saw that rhinocerous in the bathtub. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/47 "2002-09-23T05:27:17Z")
**Kat**! Stop monkeying around with that rhino and get back in here. The aardavrk’s got his snout caught in the keyhole again! ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/48 "2002-09-23T06:28:43Z")
I seem to have misplaced my glasses. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/49 "2002-09-23T16:53:48Z")
Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay. This is all well and fine, but goddammit, what’s with the rubber dog? Why’s he, ummm, you know. Somebody’s gotta explain that to me, 'cuz I just . . . Wow, man! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/50 "2002-09-23T23:29:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Missy2U \* > **glee** , I’m sitting here listening to my scanner - I’s gots the whole Cook County Sheriff’s Dept at my beck and call - will you marry me? And um, I suppose I better find out if you’re a guy? Aw hell, marry me anyway. **Milo** never writes, he never calls… 😉 [full British accent ON] Yes, madam, I am indeed a chap. Jolly pleased to meet you. I must tell you that a woman with a scanner is an attractive proposition, especially if she also makes me a proposition. 😃 (glee pauses, knowing that it is poor grammar to end a sentence with a preposition. Is it bad form to end a sentence with a proposition? 😕 Realising in fact that his last 3 sentences have ended with one or the other, he decides this is just something his readers will have to put up with.) Missy2U - may I call you 2U? - are you aware that the words ‘Cook County’ give a highly charged emotional reaction to fans of the greatest movie of all time: The Blues Brothers? God bless Aretha Franklin! So already, 2U, you have made a strong impression on me. There seems to be only one fly in the ointment…Milo :eek: Is this gentleman already a suitor of yours?! If so, only a cad and a bounder could continue their romantic pursuit of you - and I am neither. (“You say neither, but I say neither; you say either, but I say either”… glee’s words slowly trail off as the ineffectiveness of this song in spoken form occur to him) [full British accent OFF] ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2002, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/51 "2002-09-23T23:52:45Z")
Ummmm, that dogs not rubber, Unc. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/52 "2002-09-24T00:16:55Z")
Enough of this farting around with rubber dogs, **UncleBeer**! I’m only going to ask this **once** : what have you and Zartan done with the third component of the Weather Dominator? Cobra Commander is getting impatient with you! ---
**Author:** ![Nightsong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nightsong/32/3083_2.png) [@Nightsong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightsong)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/53 "2002-09-24T01:10:11Z")
_quietly gives **UncleBeer** a ‘magic’ brownie_ It’s obvious you haven’t had enough of these: then everything will make sense! 😃 [sub](And if you eat enough and pass out, we can loot your stuff… Errr… no wait, you didn’t hear that from me!)[/sub] * * * \<\< RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure. \>\> ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/54 "2002-09-24T03:08:53Z")
::Rubs back of neck:: Ow! I forgot that getting blackjack involves a penalty kick. Ah well, it seems that the game is going nicely. Seems we’ve taken a decidedly Jumanji slant now. Whatever, at it’s core the game remains the same. Are the dancing girls ready yet? Yeah? Then lets get the flamethrowers primed and ready to go. The score is 12 to Q and **Skeezix** is up at bat. ::Hurls 6 croissants and the Ghost of Elvis:: Okay, you just need to come up with 2 limericks involving fast food before these reach you and you’ll make it onto first base. Watch out for the quicksand! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/55 "2002-09-24T03:20:04Z")
And **UncleBeer** , not only is that dog not made of rubber, _it’s not even a dog_. Sheesh, you’re _supposed_ to be the umpire here. BTW, your slip is showing. Somebody get me another monkey! This one just passed out…again. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/56 "2002-09-24T05:42:10Z")
There was a young man from Nantucket Who carried his fries in a bucket. He was once heard to sing As he left Burger King “If my horse had a stall I would muck it.” [sub]Yes, he was a barmy little bastard. Generous with his fries, though.[/sub] I had me a burger, one time That I thought had been dipped in some slime. There was so much red sauce That the bun was a loss, But the patty itself was sublime. :: straps on flamethrower :: Okay, bring on the dancing girls. And before anyone decides to get tricky, I’ve got a ‘Get out of Graceland Free’ card here, and I’m not afraid to use it. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/57 "2002-09-24T05:44:43Z")
Oh, BTW, can I have another brownie? The giraffe ate mine, and now he keeps insisting that he’s the ambassador from France. [sub]And the silly git’s not even covered in orange salad dressing.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/58 "2002-09-24T07:55:42Z")
Hey, nice job there **Skeez**. Don’t forget to take the purple azaleas with you. This time around you only have to touch the prime numbered bases (out of 27 total) plus the super secret base, and you don’t have to sing since kangaroo season just started in Denmark. Here, have a brownie…and here’s a greenie and a bluey to tide you over after that. All right! We’re in the seventh frame, two outs, 6th down and 3 yards to go, checkmate in 4 moves. I believe the rhino is up next. Somebody help him with his ballet slippers, he’ll need them when he gets to the figgy pudding stage. ::snaps rubber glove onto hand:: Don’t worry sir, this won’t hurt a bit, though I sure wish I could find my glasses. ::dips gloved hand into bucket o’ tabasco sauce:: ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/59 "2002-09-24T12:11:33Z")
Will you kids quit teasing UncleBeer? Go taunt Arnold or something. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832/60 "2002-09-24T17:53:58Z")
My shoe! My _shoe!_ The marplots have filled my shoe with macaroni. And sadly, sans cheese. That dog is definitely rubber. Look at him [sub]bounce,[/sub][sup]bounce,[/sup][sub]bounce.[/sub] Stop it! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-hell/128832.md?page=4)