# What in the world makes you think you have the right to contact my husband? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 29, 2004, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689 "2004-04-29T16:09:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/21 "2004-04-29T18:32:00Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Heh. I’d pay alot to see **Skip Magic’s** reply to that. 😉 Can’t reply. Too busy watching my inbox to see who e-mails me. Shhh! [sub]It’s like it’s my birthday![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/22 "2004-04-29T18:39:25Z")
> [@WinstonSmith](#): > > Once upon a time a bird flew in through an open window into a man’s home while he was watching TV and smoking a doob. While the man watched from his Bean Bag Chair, the bird flew around in a panick for several minutes, trying to escape, before finally crashing into a closed window, breaking it’s neck, and dying. The man felt bad for the bird, because it didn’t know any better. > > Discussion Questions: > > 1. Was the birds death the man’s fault, or was it the bird’s fault? > 2. Should the man have gotten up from his Bean Bag Chair to help the bird? > 3. Should pot be illegal, really? > 4. Should the man feel bad for the bird, just because it didn’t know any better? > > Bonus: > Suggest a way the man might have handled the situation differently if he was drinking a beer instead of smoking a doob. 😕 Huh? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/23 "2004-04-29T18:49:01Z")
How’d the bird get in the house anyway? Has dude never heard of these mystical devices called “screens”? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/24 "2004-04-29T18:55:18Z")
> [@](#): > > And even IF I was then IT’S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS nor is it your place to notify my husband. I don’t know why so many people have trouble with this concept. I hate meddlers. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/25 "2004-04-29T19:15:49Z")
> [@GMRyujin](#): > > How’d the bird get in the house anyway? Has dude never heard of these mystical devices called “screens”? Immaterial. _ **The Dude** _ is not the issue here. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/26 "2004-04-29T19:16:20Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Sorry, I can’t get behind this rant. Was this person out of line? Yes. Is it your own fault? Yes. > > This is like someone who keeps a diary, then gets mad at someone who reads it when she has left it open on the kitchen table. Yes, a diary is personal and private, but you also have a responsibility to _keep_ it private if you don’t want the public responding to it. Nonsense. Yes, the entry was public, but this person didn’t respond to _her_, they decided to go tell her husband. How on earth is it Aries’ fault that some loony on the internet thinks that her dreams are something her husband needs to know about? ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/27 "2004-04-29T19:19:43Z")
> [@Geobabe](#): > > Nonsense. Yes, the entry was public, but this person didn’t respond to _her_, they decided to go tell her husband. How on earth is it Aries’ fault that some loony on the internet thinks that her dreams are something her husband needs to know about? Exactly. Look, if somebody took what I wrote about a dream (I mean, really, it was like 2 sentences in a long list of other stuff) and it bothered them that much then they could have emailed me. They could have said that they were concerned I was cheating on my husband or something and I could have laughed and explained to them how off base they were. But they didn’t. They went behind my back, did some detective work and figured out I was married to Sauron, came to the Dope and looked in his profile to get his email address (he doesn’t have a LJ…the Dope is the only place they could have found it) then forwarded my entry to him with comments implying there was something going on he should know about. THAT is what gets me. They took something small and blew it out of proportion. I mean it wasn’t even a vividly detailed dream either. A mountain out of a molehill. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/28 "2004-04-29T19:28:49Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > I mean it wasn’t even a vividly detailed dream either. A mountain out of a molehill. yeah, but was it **auntie em**??? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/29 "2004-04-29T19:31:32Z")
You were dreaming about some dude’s molehill? ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/30 "2004-04-29T19:36:51Z")
> [@Homebrew](#): > > yeah, but was it **auntie em**??? Nope…it was a random stranger I met when out of town last weekend with some friends. I told Sauron about meeting him. I told him about hanging out with him and dancing and that at the end of the night the guy was getting a touch too friendly and I told him I was flattered but happily married. That was all there was to it. It’s nothing. My brain just spit out a dream about this guy a few nights ago. Several people on LJ had been talking about odd dreams they had recently and I put a couple sentences in about the one I had. I said it was lust inducing or made me want sex all day or something like that. From that statment this chick decided I MUST be fucking this guy and felt it her civic duty to notify my husband. I’ll try for a dream about Auntie em tonight and report back tomorrow. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/31 "2004-04-29T19:36:59Z")
When I was a senior in high school, (had my lj since 2000!) a girl from school who I’d thought was just a casual acquaintance/friend somehow found my journal. It was the beginning of college early action/early decision notification time time, and one of my friends had been rejected outright from the college she’d applied to. I requested that my friends send legions of ninja after that school’s admissions department rather than after MIT’s, who’d only waitlisted me. Unbeknownst to me, crazy girl had been accepted to this college and took this as a threat on her life. I was informed of this by my dean of students fifteen minutes before my AP Physics C final exam. LiveJournal is, sadly, a magnet for crazies sometimes. But I met my boyfriend there, so I can’t give up on it entirely. Never underestimate the importance of Friends Only, though. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/32 "2004-04-29T19:48:27Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > I said it was lust inducing or made me want sex all day or something like that. From that statment this chick decided I MUST be fucking this guy and felt it her civic duty to notify my husband. It was probably at almost the exact moment this person was writing that your husband was discovering what happens when a woman who’s been wanting sex all day gets her hands on him. ---
**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/33 "2004-04-29T20:09:58Z")
Judging by some emails I’ve received apparently some people think I am going to “get in trouble” for this thread. I haven’t linked to any other board or to my LJ but if I’ve done a no-no then I did it unintentionally and I apologize to the mods and staff. If I’ve broken a rule or this isn’t a good idea, then a passing mod can feel free to close it and it won’t hurt my feelings at all. 🙂 If not then let’s keep bitching about people minding their own business. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Yakkette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@Yakkette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yakkette)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/34 "2004-04-29T20:20:13Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > If not then let’s keep bitching about people minding their own business. 😉 So far so good, then. 😃 What I can’t understand is that yes, while LJs ARE public if certain edits aren’t put on one’s specific journal, what kind of internet loser instigator would even BOTHER to do something like that. :dubious: Sounds like someone who is trying to live vicariously through others and is mucking it up. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/35 "2004-04-29T20:33:40Z")
> [@Aries28](#): > > I’ll try for a dream about Auntie em tonight and report back tomorrow. 😉 I’m not sure about **Sauron** , but I know I appreciate a team effort like that. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/36 "2004-04-29T20:36:56Z")
> [@Sauron](#): > > I think it must be somebody who either posts here or lurks here. Otherwise, I doubt they’d know that **Aries28** and I are married, or how to contact me. > > I also do not know which gender the person is, since all I have to go on is an e-mail address that doesn’t seem to correspond with any usernames I’m familiar with here. How creepy is that? The e-mail address wasn’t “[cecil.spys@stmb.com](mailto:cecil.spys@stmb.com)”, was it? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/37 "2004-04-29T20:38:05Z")
Could I have fucked that up any more? I think not. “[Cecil.spies@sdmb.com](mailto:Cecil.spies@sdmb.com)” might make a little more sense. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/38 "2004-04-29T20:50:05Z")
> [@Geobabe](#): > > Nonsense. Yes, the entry was public, but this person didn’t respond to _her_, they decided to go tell her husband. How on earth is it Aries’ fault that some loony on the internet thinks that her dreams are something her husband needs to know about? If **Aries** hadn’t posted anything about it in a public forum, the loony couldn’t have done anything with it, could she? People disagreeing with me, please note that in my first post I wrote that I felt the person who did this was out of line. I am not condoning or excusing what she did; I just think that Aries is somewhat responsible for opening that door in the first place. Once the door is open, it’s obvious that you don’t have much control over who walks through it. If you don’t want weirdos coming in, keep the door closed. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/39 "2004-04-29T20:57:35Z")
To me, it’s not so much the privacy thing (after all, all the information this person used was publicly available) as the meddling thing and, more specifically, the insult to the intelligence thing. I mean, really - if Aries was cheating on her husband, she’d have to either be monumentally stupid or think her husband was monumentally stupid (or both) to post about it on a public LJ entry. Basically, what this person did was to assume that one of these was the case, and inform Sauron, albeit not in so many words, that s/he thought so. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689/40 "2004-04-29T20:59:10Z")
I have to agree with Featherlou. Whoever did this is a real ass, but I remember the wise words of someone or other: “Never write down anything you don’t want the whole world to know.” It’s really true. You open yourself up for weirdos that way. But this person is still way out of line. No two ways about it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-in-the-world-makes-you-think-you-have-the-right-to-contact-my-husband/242689.md?page=3)