# What inanimate object do you support for president?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 29, 2008, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526 "2008-01-29T23:10:54Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/21 "2008-01-30T05:01:57Z")

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I’d like to nominate my spiral notebook. If nobody’s with me, that’s okay–it’ll be a write-in candidate.

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**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/22 "2008-01-30T05:34:15Z")

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My lava lamp: the true way to world peace.

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**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/23 "2008-01-30T06:38:46Z")

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Judge Fudge!

Do animated anthropomorphic versions of inanimate objects count?

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**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/24 "2008-01-30T06:42:12Z")

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Carbon rod … or pie?

Mmmm, pie.

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**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/25 "2008-01-30T07:07:07Z")

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[QUOTE=CandidGamera]  
.. lamp. I love lamp.  
[/QUOTE]

I came into this thread to say exactly this.

Fine, I vote my antique oak spinet-style rolltop desk for President. It’s quite old, fair of skin (maybe a little brown, but I think we can accept that as modern Americans), conservative but not afraid to be a little feminine, and it has a place for my feet.

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**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/26 "2008-01-30T08:08:04Z")

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I nominate my [giant ball of tin foil](http://farm1.static.flickr.com/116/309829518_541dad1916.jpg).

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**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/27 "2008-01-30T08:54:46Z")

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[A box of Tic-Tacs.](http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=tictacs)

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**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/28 "2008-01-30T09:09:27Z")

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[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]  
No one has said “Al Gore” yet?  
[/QUOTE]

He’s a 10th level Vice President!  
I nominate my glow-in-the-dark Silly Putty. It’s flexible… um… can transfer images from newsprint backwards… bouncy… and glows in the dark! That’s the best part!

Also, it fits into an egg. All presidential candidates should be able to fit into an egg.

Like Mork.

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**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/29 "2008-01-30T12:10:03Z")

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A waffle iron!

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/30 "2008-01-30T13:18:45Z")

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The **Sponge Mop** in the Swiffer commercials.

[![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M24TR6ULIb0)

They try to make it appear that the mop lost the exchange, but that’s just the advertiser’s bias coming through. I think the sponge mop showed great dignity in the face of insulting invective, and its stoic silence spoke volumes for its integrity.

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**Author:** ![GomiBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@GomiBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GomiBoy)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/31 "2008-01-30T13:22:07Z")

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Does a beer count as inanimate? It can be quite lively.

It could be the President everyone in the country wants to have a beer with!

[Not the one every American wants to get in a bar fight with.](http://www.theonion.com/content/video/mitt_romney_is_candidate_most)

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/32 "2008-01-30T13:26:07Z")

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I support a plate of chocolate chip cookies. They are delectable, and if things don’t work out that should be an option.

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**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/33 "2008-01-30T14:53:48Z")

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I want a president with presence, a sense of history, and one we all, as Americans, can be proud of. One who has survived adversity, as well as years of neglect - even having been forgotten and declared obsolete, and useless for the country. Who has shown that rebuilding and a return to former glory are not only possible, but a worthy aspiration.

I give you, our next president: the USS [_Constitution_](http://www.af.mil/shared/media/photodb/photos/060930-F-3935A-074.jpg)!

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**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/34 "2008-01-30T14:54:13Z")

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I respect carbon rod’s strength and stabilty, but unlike car battery, I have doubts about its ability to take charge.

I’m also considering the coupon section of my newspaper, because I respect its values.

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/35 "2008-01-30T15:17:12Z")

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I’ll go ahead and throw in my nomination: my local Denny’s. Sometimes you need traditional American family values, and with the kids menu ending at age 12 and the seniors menu starting at age 55, it has broad-based welfare initiatives in place for our disadvantaged citizens.

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**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/36 "2008-01-30T17:09:22Z")

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Happy Fun Ball.

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**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/37 "2008-01-30T17:14:08Z")

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[QUOTE=Troy McClure SF]  
Happy Fun Ball.  
[/QUOTE]

With bass-o-matic as it’s running mate.

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**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/38 "2008-01-30T17:20:10Z")

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:eek: 18"DHIBJD :eek: can make both sides happy!

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**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/39 "2008-01-30T17:58:02Z")

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[QUOTE=Gangster Octopus]  
With bass-o-matic as it’s running mate.  
[/QUOTE]

Can Yard-A-Pult be the Secretary of State? After all, good fences make good neighbors…especially when you can still huck your dead dog over those fences.

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2008, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-inanimate-object-do-you-support-for-president/435526/40 "2008-01-30T18:01:43Z")

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Brilliant thread.

There’s a mannequin at JC Penney with no feet, which I have to cast my vote for because  
a) It’s not a flip-flopper,  
b) It has always stood on its own platform, and  
c) It won’t negotiate with terrorists.

If it has a weakness as a candidate, it’s that I don’t think America is ready for a genderless President.

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