BTW, I actually am Jewish, and people never assume this about me. I actually once had to argue with a boss (who was himself Jewish and Israeli) to get Yom Kippur off. I think it’s because he was interested to see on my resume that I had studied abroad in Israel, and he asked me about it in my interview. I didn’t think it was appropriate to mention ethnic/religious background in a job interview, so I didn’t bring it up. I guess he then decided that because I hadn’t mentioned it, I wasn’t Jewish. Which then led to the bizarre argument wherein he decided I couldn’t have Yom Kippur off.
When I lived in Bulgaria, everyone assumed I was a Protestant, which are a weird and mysterious breed of person to an Eastern European. That’s what they know about Americans - they’re Protestants.
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I must give off some kind of girl-next-door vibe, because people are often shocked to discover that (a) I have tattoos, and (b) that when I say “I listen to all kinds of music” I really mean it (e.g., I’m a jazz vocalist and psyched about seeing Iron Maiden this summer)<snip>QUOTE]
I totally get this. I dabble in the music business, primarily in the bluegrass and country genres, and people are shocked to hop in my vehicle with me and hear some old Motorhead coming out of the speakers.
People, on here and IRL, assume that I’m a loud-mouthed arrogant asshole. Yes, I can be a loud-mouth sometimes, I am very opinionated and not afraid of expressing what I believe, but I’m actually a really nice, polite person. I literally helped an old woman across the street last week.
That I’m snubbing them. I’m really just kind of socially clueless. Until a friend spelled it out to me last year I never knew that the correct response to “How are you?” is “Fine, how are you?” rather than just “Fine.”
That I’m unhappy. Just because I’m not smiling all the time … it’s not as if I go around crying constantly either! This is my neutral face.
That I’m foreign. Apparently I have an accent. I can’t count the number of times people have asked me where I’m from, or if I’m South African/Irish/a Kiwi/English.
That my last name starts with an A, as opposed to a U. It’s the accent again. I’ve taken to spelling it whenever someone asks me - I’ll just end up doing that any way, so why waste time with the whole “U*****” “A*****?” “No, U*****. That’s U-----*.” thing.
I have an Anglo face. It looks English/Irish but my mother tells me there is no Irish in my ancestry. (please let us not start a Paddy/Proddy thread from this.) When I speak to them in Chinese, the Chinese are surprised and compliment me on my language skills. I always answer that all credit should go to my teacher. This is such a traditional Chinese answer to a compliment that they always laugh.
That I don’t speak Japanese.
The Japanese don’t appear to be surprised, but are pleased that I speak their language. When they compliment me on my language skills, I show them the paper form and tell them that my Japanese language ability is limited to only the questions that are on the form. Then they laugh.
Yes, I’m a convert. But there are Jews around the world, multiple generations of Jews in Ethiopia, for instance, South America and in China. Most American Jews are of Eastern European ancestry, but that’s not the be all and end all of Judaism.
I just want to explain this phenomenon, since it keeps coming up. People aren’t going to notice when you order meat, because that’s what they expect. However, people do not expect a non-vegetarian to order a completely vegetarian meal when they can choose not to. People will notice the unexpected.
As for me, it’s assumed:
[ul][li]I’m assumed lighter than I am. [/li][li]I’m assumed to be some uber-Christian, even by fundies. When I’ve told friends that I’m looking for a slightly more devout Christian, I’m told that they’d have to be sitting in Jesus’ lap.[/li][li]that I never get angry. I get angry at the drop of a hat. I just try not to react in anger (and I fail a lot)[/li][li]that I’m interested sexually in someone. I just want to be friends. Sure, I may not have completely decided that I never want to explore romantic options with you (if you measure up) but that doesn’t mean I want to jump your bones.[/ul][/li]That’s all I can think of for now.
That I’m old enough to have the kids I do. For some reason people think it’s weird I have 13 and 15 year olds in my house. I’m 33 people! You think I’d kidnap teenagers? It’s like having locusts in the house.
I frequently encounter the assumption that I am a girly-girl. People are always startled when I mention that I’ve played D&D or am into fantasy novels and gaming. Or when I swear like a sailor or make a dirty joke. I think the skirts and the makeup confuses them.
That I’m in the mafia. I’m old, very Sicilian-looking, well-dressed, plus I wear jewelry, smoke cigars, and have a very extroverted personality. The truth is, I look like every other guy I grew up with(in Bensonhurst–which is understandably stereotyped as being Mob Central). Thing is, I live outside of Houston, so all everyone here sees is affluent, fast-talking, somewhat old school Sicilian-American guy with a thick Brooklyn accent.
It’s really funny when my two large nephews come down to visit.
My mom used to work at my high school, and was absolutely convinced that I was not a virgin when I was a kid because of the guys I dated. Seriously, I could not convince her. It wasn’t really an issue, but it definitely used to make me laugh that my mom was convinced that I was humping around.
Then when I had my first “serious” boyfriend at 22, my mom could tell I had done the deed just by the look in my eye.
I might buy that if I’d ordered a veggie sub, or a BLT-hold-the-B, or something else deliberately non-meat-containing. But a grilled cheese? Since when is it unexpected for anyone to order one of those?
I’m small, shy, and have a quiet, nasal, little-girl voice (it was a real shock to hear my own voice on a tape recorder!). I apparently come across as a simple-minded asshole and people either talk over me or don’t want to listen to me talk. They are astonished when they read an article I have written, a review, a letter to the editor - something I write rather than say - and say, “Sali, did YOU write that???” I had an aunt I used to write letters to when I was in my early teens. She wrote back once and said, “enjoy your letters, they’re very deep and you express yourself so well - I never thought you had it in you”. (!)
That I am a nurse. For at least 20 years people have asked me if I am a nurse. I have been stopped on the street by people who think I’m a nurse.
That I drink tea. For some reason, reading voraciously = drinking tea. At least a dozen people in my life have given me gifts of tea. Baskets of herbal tea, little boxes with selections of various tea, seasonal tea in teacups. I despise tea. I have drunk maybe one cup in my life to be polite. “I’m sure you drink a lot of tea when you’re curled up with a good book!” And my [del]many[/del] no cats.
