# What involuntary bodily functions are you really, really great at? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446 "2010-07-29T13:35:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/21 "2010-07-30T17:51:24Z")
> [@rocking\_chair](#): > > sneezing. i live in a row home, someone 3 doors away in their back yard yelled “bless you” once. > cats fear my sneezing. > sometimes in an office chair i roll back a little. > > panda sneezing is a small mouse of a sneeze compared to mine. Oh hell - I once told my allergy doc that “when I sneeze, people in California run out of their houses in alarm” (I live on the East Coast). ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Accident](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Mr.Accident](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Accident)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/22 "2010-07-30T18:23:18Z")
> [@](#): > > And am I alone in the ability to consciously raise/lower my pulse? I used to be able to do this, to the point where my pulse rate was below 20. The highest I ever raised it intentionally was 150. That all stopped when I had surgery back in 2002. I haven’t been able to pull that trick off since then. ☹ I don’t know if this counts or not, but doctors can’t hear me breathe when they hold a stethoscope to my chest. I’ve been accused of holding my breath or breathing shallowly. I don’t know how many doctors have asked me if I’m breathing at all. It doesn’t affect my oxygen levels at all. I’m perfectly normal in that regard. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/23 "2010-07-31T01:03:08Z")
Freaks. Every last one of you. Especially the dude with the tingle. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/24 "2010-07-31T01:42:23Z")
A few years ago, in preparation for a nerf-gun fight (or would that be a “nerf gunfight”) at work, I took someone else’s darts, licked the suction cups, and shot them up onto the skylight. The ceilings were about twenty feet high. At some point later, someone took a stepladder and a broom and tried to knock them off. At least one of them tore in half, rather than come dislodged. When the company left that building, a year-and-a-half later, it was still there. In a comparison over the adhesive properties of my saliva, I bow to no man. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/25 "2010-07-31T01:51:40Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > In a comparison over the adhesive properties of my saliva, I bow to no man. Are you sure it’s an adhesive? What if you have fly saliva and the digestive acids in your saliva caused the glass and the rubber to bond by partially deteriorating? ---
**Author:** ![I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e19adc/32.png) [@I\_Am\_The\_Lorax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Am_The_Lorax)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/26 "2010-07-31T05:18:01Z")
I have hiccups that have stopped Black Friday traffic at the mall. I made a busload of senior citizens turn off their hearing aids. Thankfully they aren’t painful, but damn, are they annoying. I think it sounds like a cat being raped, my husband says it’s like metal that needs grease. Nearly everyone thinks it’s a joke, and yes, my jokes suck, but not as much as my hiccups. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/27 "2010-07-31T05:28:09Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > My blood clots ridiculously well. Mine does, too. I think this is related to my lack of bruising. I can raise a small, faint bruise for something that would make a huge, spectacular bruise on someone else. It’s kind of a bummer, actually - you don’t get much sympathy for a faint blue spot. I am also the master of sweaty feet not smelling. I’ve been doing a lot of digging outside this summer in the hot sun - the shoes I’ve been wearing smell like shoes inside - no sweat smell at all. It makes me very sensitive to my husband’s smelly feet, because it’s so foreign to me. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/28 "2010-07-31T06:43:01Z")
I’m another spectacular sneezer. I’ve injured myself more than once with a good sneeze. (Back and arms. I’m not entirely sure how my arms get involved in the sneeze, aside from coming up to block it, but I can hurt them pretty good.) And…er…yeah, another with the room-clearing gas. ☹ Like _I_ need to leave the room bad, sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/29 "2010-07-31T07:26:30Z")
I can do a very good impression of a flock of bats exiting a cave whilst getting a full brass band sendoff. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/30 "2010-07-31T13:22:18Z")
All my life I get sudden nosebleeds along the lines of turning on a faucet. My nose just start gushing blood. I’ve learned to cup my hand under my rose and grab the nearest container, but people freak out when they see it. Once when it happened in the street, a cop car stopped and two cops asked me “who beat you up?” I had the hardest time convincing them it’s just the way my nose bleeds. ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/31 "2010-07-31T19:29:29Z")
I can burp at will, but my husband has The Amazing Talking Bottom - the variety and length of noises is … astounding. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/32 "2010-08-01T01:53:48Z")
I have been complimented on my snoring, both on the volume and the consistent rhythm. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/33 "2010-08-01T02:05:00Z")
I’m another bomb-sneezer. I swear I set off numerous security alerts in London as a kid in the eighties. ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/34 "2010-08-01T02:11:17Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I also have shockingly loud (and amazingly painful) hiccups. I rarely get them, though. Mine always hurt, too. I’ve never heard anyone else say that. Does that mean we’re good at them, or we’re not doing them right? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/35 "2010-08-01T06:57:31Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > I can burp and fart any time I please. Yeah- I don’t get that people are including farting as involuntary. The capacity to conjure one up on demand- especially ina crowded space - is really one of the joys of life. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2010, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/36 "2010-08-01T08:06:04Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > > [@SteveG1](#): > > > > I can burp and fart any time I please. > > Yeah- I don’t get that people are including farting as involuntary. The capacity to conjure one up on demand- especially ina crowded space - is really one of the joys of life. Hell, yes. Man, I love to fart. I envy your gift, I have to plan ahead and let one build up. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/37 "2010-08-02T22:00:02Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Lately, I’ve been setting some sort of world records in the flatus department. People don’t seem to appreciate it, though. I am with you on that one. Onions cause astounding flatus… and I’ve recently been craving red onions… ---
**Author:** ![Kyrie\_Eleison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kyrie_eleison/32/7682_2.png) [@Kyrie\_Eleison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyrie_Eleison)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446/38 "2010-08-02T22:09:27Z")
I can sneeze silently. I don’t always do so – only if I’m in a meeting or a movie or the like. Sometimes it freaks people out when I do it because my head still jerks forward violently, and I still get sneeze face, but there’s just no noise. Not even a squeak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-involuntary-bodily-functions-are-you-really-really-great-at/548446.md?page=1)