# What is a class act? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 12, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572 "2002-07-12T05:36:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/1 "2002-07-12T05:36:50Z")
Just out of curiosity, why does it make one a class act to apologize when it is pretty obvious that the apologizer was told to do so? (Or had it suggested in ways that indicate saying no isn’t very acceptable) Wouldn’t the class act thing to do be apologizing BEFORE getting in trouble? Or is there no significant difference between “I’m sorry” and “I’m sorry I was caught”? ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/2 "2002-07-12T06:07:07Z")
Don’t be an ass. Unless you can prove he was caught, and that his apology wasn’t every bit as heartfelt as it appeared, your accusation was totally unnecessary and utterly lacking in class. Jeezus. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/3 "2002-07-12T06:55:44Z")
Also, **obfus** , you forgot “I’m sorry that I fucked you over when I thought I could get away with it, but now I really, really need your help and I’m hoping you’ll let my earlier behavior slide.” Now THERE’S a meaningful apology. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/4 "2002-07-12T09:27:12Z")
I don’t suppose there are any, you know, _links_ to this sort of behaviour forthcoming? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/5 "2002-07-12T09:56:47Z")
I dunno, if the apology is a statement like “I’m just plain wrong and you’re right, sorry everybody, I’ll withdraw and reconsider my views” (I’ve seen this a few times in GD and in the pit), then I think that’s fairly good (I’m not sure if I’d call it ‘classy’, but I would probably never use the word about anything) - it shows that there’s some sort of _thought_ process going on and that can’t be bad. If, however, you mean when somebody says “Alright, I’m sorry, OK?” then yes, that’s piss poor, but we can’t be sure that’s what you really mean as you didn’t provide a link (for which I think an apology is in order). ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/6 "2002-07-12T11:13:11Z")
It’s hard to back down sometimes, especially around here where you feel like everyone’s watching. I think an apology _is_ classy–when it’s sincere and timely. Isn’t it better to see someone apologize than to stick their fingers in their ears, scream lalalalalala, and then run away? Of course–the understanding is that an apology must be followed up with action. Apologize for something once—that took guts, good for you Apologize for something twice—well, maybe you’ll learn something this time Apologize three times—just shut the fuck up and quit doing stuff you need to apologize for! bella ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/7 "2002-07-12T13:35:48Z")
Sometimes getting in trouble is what causes the introspection, dear **obfusciatrist**. Is that conceivable? ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/8 "2002-07-12T13:55:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Don’t be an ass. No, no, no! That doens’t make a class act, but it’s close. To be a class act, you have to be an ass (the level of assness is, however, fairly optional–this is where personal improvisation comes into things) until the bloating belly of the equine bursts, and then apologize–the apology is likewise open to personal improvisation. _Then_ you’re a class act. For instance, in this thread, obfusciatrist can become a class act by making a much better effort at being an ass (remember, ass is three-fifths of class), continue that for awhile, and then apologize in a manner correlated with the assness. Until then, no class act lapel pin. I don’t really understand that particular bit of the rules here, but we’re all guests here on private property and should abide by them. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/9 "2002-07-12T14:06:22Z")
It’s called being nice and recognizing when someone was done something difficult and self-effacing. Consider it the social version of astro-glide. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/10 "2002-07-12T14:09:28Z")
I agree that an apology is a lot classier when it comes without a gun being held to one’s head. I dunno, I guess I’d consider an apology classy even under those circumstances if a person shows introspection and honesty as well as geniune contrition. That is, they are truly appalled ot themselves, as opposed to just trying to get out of the doghouse. There are times when you can just tell the author is _itching_ to add a “but” clause in there, and that really negates the whole point. And it completely takes away one’s nomination for the Class Act certificate. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/11 "2002-07-12T14:09:44Z")
That fits with the whole ass-factor. Very good point. ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/12 "2002-07-12T14:12:07Z")
Scylla’s point, that is. Not the gun thing–guns and asses shouldn’t mix. I’ll just sit over here now. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/13 "2002-07-12T15:32:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by obfusciatrist \* > \*\* > > Wouldn’t the class act thing to do be apologizing BEFORE getting in trouble? > \*\* I always think of a class act as someone who doesn’t engage in behavior that requires profuse apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/14 "2002-07-12T15:41:30Z")
Generally, true. However, I always appreciate when people DO appologize sincerely. ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/15 "2002-07-12T15:49:06Z")
> [@](#): > > ass is three-fifths of class Gold. Anyway, since I’m here, could someone please point me towards the Smarty-Pants Know-It-All’s Guide To Determining Sincerity In The Absence of Visual Cues or Even Those Little Rolleyes Thingies, Second Edition? I tried to find it in the self-help section, but the aisle was blocked by rabid wombats. ---
**Author:** ![symplicity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df788c/32.png) [@symplicity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/symplicity)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-a-class-act/118572/16 "2002-07-12T15:56:40Z")
being classy is acting in a manner for which you need not have to appologize for and it is also being able to admit when you are wrong. the guy had opinions and that is fine, he got a little too carried away and was able to see that he was wrong. whether it was after he got in trouble, sobered up, had some sex, got on drugs, who cares. he humbled himself and that is respectable to me