# What is appropriate when one leaves a company? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509 "2000-04-04T00:08:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bedboy4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dc4da7/32.png) [@bedboy4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bedboy4)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/1 "2000-04-04T00:08:00Z")
A friend of mine just got laid off after serving 12 years with the company… No one threw her a going away party or nothing… is this normal policy with companies? I think it stinks… its not like we are a huge company and we employees are faceless and unforgetable. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/2 "2000-04-04T00:18:00Z")
Maybe she didn’t want a party. ?? Circumstances are different. Sometimes the person leaving wouldn’t appreciate the extra attention. Was the lay-off for financial reasons? Was she the only one let go? Did she have a good relationship with her co-workers? If you were concerned about her feelings, maybe you and some friends could have offered to take her out for a beer after work. ?? But to answer the OP, our policy is to have a cake and coffee for people who are **retiring**. If we did this for everyone who left for other reasons, we’d never get any work done. (And it’s not done for folks who are let go in downsizing – just too uncomfortable for everyone.) ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/3 "2000-04-04T00:19:00Z")
I’m sure when you leave the SDMB, bedboy, we’ll have a big ole party. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/4 "2000-04-04T00:23:00Z")
Lots of things can cause that. If the company has been throwing people out left and right, the rest of the staff might be simply weary and unable to come up with one more farewell. If the company made a big deal about getting rid of “dead wood” (accurately or inaccurately), the fellow employees might fear that throwing a party would look bad to management. If the staff is simply not very friendly, as a group, or if there is no acknowledged (if informal) social director, the group may have simply not gotten their feet under themselves to do something. (The unofficial social director plays a huge part in getting this sort of thing organized in many places. If there is no one to get the ball rolling, everyone waits for someone else to start it and it never begins.) If the employee is not well-liked, the party might start the day after the departure. I have seen every one of the above scenarios play out (as well as many different variations on the farewell party). Each department in each company is different. * * * Tom~ ---
**Author:** ![Squee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@Squee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/5 "2000-04-04T00:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m sure when you leave the SDMB, bedboy, we’ll have a big ole party. UncleBeer, I think that was kind of uncalled for. It sounds like a serious question. Give the kid a break. He may be trying to mend his trolling ways. * * * “Penises don’t belong in the mouth, girls and boys. You’ve got the wrong hole there. Just like you wouldn’t shove pizza up your nose.” -From the **Brother Jed** flyer- ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/6 "2000-04-04T00:30:00Z")
Oh yeah. What UncleBeer said. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/7 "2000-04-04T00:33:00Z")
A layoff doesn’t seem like much of a reason to celebrate. When someone is laid off here, they are escorted from the building and out of the parking lot. I guess some people take it hard. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/8 "2000-04-04T00:33:00Z")
I second that Coldfire, or ummm, third that Unca, I’ll bring the jello shots and Twister. * * * Any similarity between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/9 "2000-04-04T00:35:00Z")
spooje- You work for the Post Office? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/10 "2000-04-04T00:42:00Z")
Squee, maybe it was uncalled for, and if it was I will apologize. Please read these threads at your convenience and we can discuss it further. [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000874.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum5/HTML/000874.html) A whiny pit thread started just yesterday. [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006768.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006768.html) Another thread started by bedboy yesterday in the pit. [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006763.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006763.html) Another comment in the pit calling the rest of us “assholes”. Posted yesterday also. Additionally, we have this thread from today. [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006820.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006820.html) How many more shall I dig up? There are plenty of examples, as well as an outstanding accusation of his disrupting another message board (to the point of legal action). If he wants to make amends, he should post a public apology. Then I’ll lay off of him, but not until then. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/11 "2000-04-04T00:47:00Z")
I got on his back a little, too, in the Pit, but I’m more than willing to offer Bedboy a second chance. Re: the OP… There was a person who was very well-liked by us drones who was also obviously disliked by the manager. She (the co-worker) decided to take a job in another office, and we threw a huge going away party for her. (Sort of an “in your face” to the manager.) At the party, we all bitched loud and long regarding the current management, and it felt great. * * * This is getting hard. Somebody relieve me. (A Wallian exclamation) ---
**Author:** ![Squee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@Squee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squee)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/12 "2000-04-04T01:17:00Z")
UncleBeer, perhaps I spoke a bit hastily before. I don’t condone any of Bedboy4’s rude behavior on this message board, and I agree that he owes many an apology in that regard. I have not read the thread about bringing a board to the point of legal action. Maybe I should have before I posted. I guess my whole point was that if he tried to post a thread that seems legit, let’s answer him with serious answers. If he wants to be a serious poster, we should give him a chance. If he goes back to his trolling ways… fry him, but not before. You and Coldfire are probably right in thinking that he is beyond redemption, but unless he has a chance to prove me wrong, I will keep my opinion. * * * “Penises don’t belong in the mouth, girls and boys. You’ve got the wrong hole there. Just like you wouldn’t shove pizza up your nose.” -From the **Brother Jed** flyer- ---
**Author:** ![Anti\_Pro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Anti\_Pro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anti_Pro)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/13 "2000-04-04T01:24:00Z")
bedboy, I guess it is the term ‘approriate’. I was asked to resign or I could be fired (I dated my boss, a real no no, though HE wasn’t called on the carpet, I was) and though I had worked there at the company for a few years, there was no good bye either. Twelve years is a long time, but as AuntiePam pointed out, maybe some of you who know this person could take her out to dinner, and that would be better, since she is away from the place where she was once employed. good luck, Judy * * * “Um, according to who? Nothing more than a high brow troll, though occasionally the bi polar personality swung in a constructive direction on innocuous topics.” Omniscient ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-appropriate-when-one-leaves-a-company/15509/14 "2000-04-04T02:35:00Z")
I was responding in the hopes that **bedboy4** was looking (belatedly) to mend his ways. It appears that the issue is moot: [http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006820.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/006820.html) * * * Tom~