# What Is Attractive To Females **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2013, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218 "2013-09-19T07:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/221 "2013-09-26T16:44:53Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Sorry, didn’t see your post til way after. > > Here is what I think. As far as for what turns women on, there ARE straight women, bi women, lesbians, transexuals, monogomous or poligamous, fetishes and prudes (if this term is offensive I know not). Yes, huge core differences. BUT, as far as straight women and their biological-psychological preferences, I think its true to a certain extent that there are some rules. For example, I think it’s safe to say that more often then not women are attracted to grooming, confidence and effacaciousy. Also, a way to explain why some women prefer tall men where others don’t is this: Being attracted to tallness might not be about being tall but about being seen as a protector, which also explains why girls like guys who are powerful or wealthy. In other words, the reason why women have these differences is because they see or not the implied value beneath the preferences, which were just an indicator of having the procreation value behind it. And in my opinion, the ultimate procreation values are a blueprint to what straight women are usually into (with exceptions to the rule). Maybe its not there but I think it is . Alright then, since you already have the answer whence the poll? Simply be tall, charming, and financially successful. Easy peasy. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/222 "2013-09-26T16:50:44Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Sorry, didn’t see your post til way after. > > Here is what I think. As far as for what turns women on, there ARE straight women, bi women, lesbians, transexuals, monogomous or poligamous, fetishes and prudes (if this term is offensive I know not). Yes, huge core differences. BUT, as far as straight women and their biological-psychological preferences, I think its true to a certain extent that there are some rules. For example, I think it’s safe to say that more often then not women are attracted to grooming, confidence and effacaciousy. Also, a way to explain why some women prefer tall men where others don’t is this: Being attracted to tallness might not be about being tall but about being seen as a protector, which also explains why girls like guys who are powerful or wealthy. In other words, the reason why women have these differences is because they see or not the implied value beneath the preferences, which were just an indicator of having the procreation value behind it. And in my opinion, the ultimate procreation values are a blueprint to what straight women are usually into (with exceptions to the rule). Maybe its not there but I think it is . You might be right, in general. But even if you are, there are still millions of women who are attracted to short men (even if they don’t prefer short men, they still might be willing to give one a chance), and men without a lot of money, or men who are overweight, shy, etc. Basically, the rule here, in my experience, is the same rule as in most of life: be a decent person, and treat people with respect and decency. It may be tough at first, but if you stick to this rule (as well as making an effort with grooming and hygiene), then you will meet some decent women. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/223 "2013-09-26T16:56:02Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Alright then, since you already have the answer whence the poll? Simply be tall, charming, and financially successful. Easy peasy. To seek new information that I haven’t heard yet. I didn’t say to simply be those things ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/224 "2013-09-26T16:56:03Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > You might be right, in general. But even if you are, there are still millions of women who are attracted to short men (even if they don’t prefer short men, they still might be willing to give one a chance), and men without a lot of money, or men who are overweight, shy, etc. > > Basically, the rule here, in my experience, is the same rule as in most of life: be a decent person, and treat people with respect and decency. It may be tough at first, but if you stick to this rule (as well as making an effort with grooming and hygiene), then you will meet some decent women. I don’t think the original question was genuine, if these ever are. The real question is “If I’m not tall, I’m socially awkward, and have no plans towards financial success, how do I get beautiful, desirable women to bed me?” then, when lovely women don’t fly in to offer themselves to the underdog, he turns and attacks women for daring to have superficial preferences. How does an ordinary man find love? He loves ordinary women. It really is that simple. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/225 "2013-09-26T17:03:50Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > I don’t think the original question was genuine, if these ever are. The real question is “If I’m not tall, I’m socially awkward, and have no plans towards financial success, how do I get beautiful, desirable women to bed me?” then, when lovely women don’t fly in to offer themselves to the underdog, he turns and attacks women for daring to have superficial preferences. > > How does an ordinary man find love? He loves ordinary women. It really is that simple. An ordinary man can appeal to an extraordinary woman by becoming extraordinary himself. Honesty, integrity, humility, and sincerity are much more enduring traits than appearance. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/226 "2013-09-26T17:09:18Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > An ordinary man can appeal to an extraordinary woman by becoming extraordinary himself. Honesty, integrity, humility, and sincerity are much more enduring traits than appearance. Well, yes, that’s what we’ve all been saying all along, and I gave examples of ordinary looking men who have great success with women due to various talents and attitudes. That’s what we believe and experience, but the OP isn’t looking for input, he’s looking to have his own prejudices reinforced. Since OP is going to continue insist that there is a universal formula that supersedes all charms and efforts, he should devote himself to gaining height, money, and confidence. He doesn’t need our advice or experience to better himself since he has the answers. Plus: monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/227 "2013-09-26T17:25:02Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Ok, and I was giving you my understanding- that physical attraction does not come from physical appearance alone. People can be turned on just by the sound of someone’s voice- that’s obvious physical attraction, and obviously not about appearance. So there are other characteristics that can make someone attractive, even if their physical appearance is ugly. Hell, there’s a guy I like… because of a shared love of fantasy-setting dwarves, Pterry, and general nerd stuff. Is he pretty? … let me put it this way: he could’a played Gimli without any camera tricks and just enough makeup to keep his face from looking like it’s the part of the movie that got recorded in black and white 😛 But hey, I’m a “talk nerdy to me” kind of gal! ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/228 "2013-09-26T17:27:52Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > I don’t think the original question was genuine, if these ever are. The real question is “If I’m not tall, I’m socially awkward, and have no plans towards financial success, how do I get beautiful, desirable women to bed me?” then, when lovely women don’t fly in to offer themselves to the underdog, he turns and attacks women for daring to have superficial preferences. > > How does an ordinary man find love? He loves ordinary women. It really is that simple. It was genuine. The original question was about increasing my skill with women among other reasons but you are free to read into it any way you want. Yes, because I ask for ideas on attraction obviously means that I expect all women of this message board to come and sleep with me, what other reason could there be? And I wasn’t attacking in the rape jokes or saying female. I honestly felt like it shouldn’t matter and since I felt like saying that then why not? ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/229 "2013-09-26T17:30:24Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > An ordinary man can appeal to an extraordinary woman by becoming extraordinary himself. I like this idea. Never thought of it before. Thx for sharing ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/230 "2013-09-26T17:31:30Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > For example, I think it’s safe to say that more often then not women are attracted to grooming, confidence and effacaciousy. Especially effacaciousy. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/231 "2013-09-26T17:32:42Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > It was genuine. The original question was about increasing my skill with women among other reasons but you are free to read into it any way you want. Yes, because I ask for ideas on attraction obviously means that I expect all women of this message board to come and sleep with me, what other reason could there be? And I wasn’t attacking in the rape jokes or saying female. I honestly felt like it shouldn’t matter and since I felt like saying that then why not? You’ve been given a host of answers, and continue to revert back to your Big Three. We can give you lists of ordinary looking men, short men, and poor men who are successful in love because of various charms, talents, or genuine ease in the company of women but you seem to be bent on clinging to the observations you’ve gleaned from primate behavior. Here’s my last bit of advice repeated for the third time: make female friends in order to feel more comfortable and at ease in their presence. You’ll discover that women are people, just like you, and it’s the best favor you can do for yourself and your future loves. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/232 "2013-09-26T17:49:41Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Well, yes, that’s what we’ve all been saying all along, and I gave examples of ordinary looking men who have great success with women due to various talents and attitudes. That’s what we believe and experience, but the OP isn’t looking for input, he’s looking to have his own prejudices reinforced. > Since OP is going to continue insist that there is a universal formula that supersedes all charms and efforts, he should devote himself to gaining height, money, and confidence. He doesn’t need our advice or experience to better himself since he has the answers. Plus: monkeys. Your name isn’t inspired by the fighter Cung Lee, is it? That guy at least used to be a badass when I saw his fights. I feel this may be a case of: no matter what I say, I am not going to unconvince you of your ideas about me. I am actually looking for input even if I am pretty convinced there is some sorta blueprint, but I don’t think anything I say will prove my mind to you. I am either lying, deluded, mispercieved something or right, in all cases it may be I would say the same thing, so I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree. And yes, monkeys. \*\* Oh yeah, to the people reading this thread - I realize that “some documentary” may have sounded sketchy, it was called “Going Ape” by I believe the National Geographic Channel or Discovery Channel.\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/233 "2013-09-26T17:55:27Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Hell, there’s a guy I like… > because of a shared love of fantasy-setting dwarves, Pterry, and general nerd stuff. > > Is he pretty? > > … let me put it this way: he could’a played Gimli without any camera tricks and just enough makeup to keep his face from looking like it’s the part of the movie that got recorded in black and white 😛 But hey, I’m a “talk nerdy to me” kind of gal! Thanks for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/234 "2013-09-26T18:02:14Z")
Gateway, this isn’t you, is it? Beware the [shallow end](http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/the-worst-person-in-the-world-will-pay-you-1500-to-find-him)of the dating pool. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/235 "2013-09-26T18:08:13Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > First: **Gateway** , don’t get sucked into the seduction/pick up artist world. Trust me. > > Second: bonobos are awesome! In the documentary, what was the bonobos approach characterized by (like, what specific things did the guys do/say/etc to the women)? And what was the chimpanzee technique like? I’m interested in hearing your views on the pick up artist world and why you don’t like it Bonobo - Playful, fun, confident, nice Chimp - Overdominant, not really caring about what she is saying, more on the aggressive, contolling In general, the chimp duders said things like, “you shouldn’t wear that color anymore,” or “you, me, tomorrow night on a date, give me your number” Serious and authoritarian like a businessman is responding to a mere mortal in a “looking down on” way The bonobos said things like “how are you, whats your name?” taking the time to listen and also joking around. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/236 "2013-09-26T18:14:46Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > I’m interested in hearing your views on the pick up artist world and why you don’t like it I find the PUA world pretty disgusting because of the lack of respect and regard for women. Basically, the idea that women may be hurt by them doesn’t seem to matter. It seems like the kind of thing sociopaths do. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/237 "2013-09-26T18:15:11Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > A brief scan of the categories on any porn site would tell you that men are attracted to _vastly_ different things. A very good point, I will think on it. But you’ve never had the experience when a woman walks into the room and every guy is thinking, DAMN! ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/238 "2013-09-26T18:18:48Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > I like this idea. Never thought of it before. Thx for sharing > [@Gateway](#): > > A very good point, I will think on it. > > But you’ve never had the experience when a woman walks into the room and every guy is thinking, DAMN! Constantly, but she chose to marry me. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/239 "2013-09-26T18:34:29Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > There aren’t any other animals that have our level of sentience either. What, you don’t think that would make humans even more of a special snowflake in the species world? We have the ability to develop foibles and preferences because we have the ability to over-think and override our “natural instincts”. And there have been far more studies done on the nature vs nurture argument, which you should probably look to more so than some sort of cross-species documentary that then extrapolates monkey findings into human “seduction techniques” (what kind of doc is that? Seriously, I’m wondering how scientific it is). > > I’m a little insulted and I feel like you should be a little insulted about the comparison to monkey mating. I mean, that’s what we as a species have been trying to get away from since forever. I don’t like the “but men can’t control themselves because they have primitive natural instincts that tell them to go for anything that moves!” argument that crops up from those sorts of things any more than the majority of men do. Nobody likes being compared to a monkey unless maybe it actually manages to absolve them of some responsibility in a pinch. > > Maybe get out of the whole lowest common denominator thing - the majority of us want to screw someone on a regular or semi-regular basis, true. You don’t need a documentary to figure that out. So get yourself beyond basic stuff like that and see people as separate human beings with thinking minds that control their bodies - not as just another species in the animal kingdom to figure out. Might as well just go find yourself a real monkey if you’re going to stick to that. Yes we are a unique species, though doesn’t mean in every way that is so. No reason to feel insulted in my opinion: Man supposedly share over 90 percent of our genes with monkeys so it to me is a logical place to go to understand attraction. Plus procreation is HUGE as far as the survival of our species goes. If we have a pretty automatic reaction to pain, then we are likely to have something to guide us in mate choice as it is HUGE for close to the same reason. Procreation is written into us on the surface with the existence of our genitalia, it makes sense that what we are looking for is written into us too, to a grdater or lesser degree. Yes, but finding a real monkey can be hard to do, and last time there was an accident when I was teaching the monkey how to give oral. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/240 "2013-09-26T18:35:34Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I find the PUA world pretty disgusting because of the lack of respect and regard for women. Basically, the idea that women may be hurt by them doesn’t seem to matter. It seems like the kind of thing sociopaths do. Negs? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=13)