# What Is Attractive To Females **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2013, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218 "2013-09-19T07:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/261 "2013-09-26T20:36:49Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > I’m interested in hearing your views on the pick up artist world and why you don’t like it > > Bonobo - Playful, fun, confident, nice > Chimp - Overdominant, not really caring about what she is saying, more on the aggressive, contolling > > In general, the chimp duders said things like, “you shouldn’t wear that color anymore,” or “you, me, tomorrow night on a date, give me your number” Serious and authoritarian like a businessman is responding to a mere mortal in a “looking down on” way > The bonobos said things like “how are you, whats your name?” taking the time to listen and also joking around. And what can you take from this? That the “bonobos” treated the object of their interest as if she were an interesting person, and the women responded positively to that. Which is basically what we have been telling you for the past few pages. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/262 "2013-09-27T11:54:01Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > When did I realize that women were individuals? Uh, that’s not something that you just \*realize \*all of a sudden. Understanding that other people in the world actually exist and have their own thoughts and feelings is just something you are supposed to know as a child. If you’re old enough to post on a message board and you don’t know this, you’ve got some \*serious \*issues. Or rather the more likely scenario, you’re simply trolling. If you want to accuse someone of trolling, do so in the Pit, not MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/263 "2013-09-27T17:11:33Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > Why does this thread smell like Axe body spray? 😛 > [@Gateway](#): > > For those who didn’t see it in my other post - the documentary was called ‘Going Ape’ either by National Geographic or Discovery channel I have never seen any documentary, by anyone, which was more than a very brief glance at the subject. The most that a documentary can do is give you a good basis for forming questions, which you should research. Most documentaries are complete and utter crap, and even the best of them should not be cited as a reliable source. The purpose of a documentary is to sell ads. It’s not to inform people of the subject. The people who produce the documentaries are attempting to put the thing together as cheaply as possible, with a fine disregard for the truth. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/264 "2013-09-27T17:44:56Z")
> [@llcoolbj77](#): > > No. I do not believe you are Romeo Rose. But there are some similarities in attitude about women. > > Mostly, I just think the article is a hilarious study in how NOT to attract women. What similarities? ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/265 "2013-09-27T17:50:19Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Nope, that’s it, it’s a bunch of woo or something that’s gotten him this far down the path. If we were supposed to be handed blueprints at birth as to this mate picking business I certainly was not given one. I certainly have no desire to go down the procreation route. He wants to sit here and wonder about how he can figure out the secrets of our genetic blueprints that he’s convinced we all have, he can search all day until he’s blue in the face. At best this universal blueprint will say, “You know, sex sounds pretty good right now. And maybe some food and water and a place to sleep. I bet that person over there could help me get all of those.” > > It doesn’t make any sense to look at monkeys to understand human attraction. It makes sense to look at humans to understand human attraction. If you are baffled as to why some do everything “right” and still don’t make it, and others do everything “wrong” and do make it, well I think we’ve left quite a few hints in the thread for you as to why. If it doesn’t make sense to look to an animal species containing 90% plus of our genes, does it make sense to do testing on other species to research medicine for humans? ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/266 "2013-09-27T17:51:37Z")
> [@armedmonkey](#): > > Of course there’s no one right way to word a thread, but there’s plenty of wrong ways, too. Coming across like an alien naturalist with a poor grasp of spelling is one of the latter. Thx for you opinion ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/267 "2013-09-27T18:04:47Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > If it doesn’t make sense to look to an animal species containing 90% plus of our genes, does it make sense to do testing on other species to research medicine for humans? What percentage of monkeys wear clothing, get married, create religions, form sports teams, file taxes, drive cars, take photos, or pen the complete works of Shakespeare? What percentage of social behavior do monkeys share with humans in your estimation? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/268 "2013-09-27T18:09:50Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > If it doesn’t make sense to look to an animal species containing 90% plus of our genes, does it make sense to do testing on other species to research medicine for humans? We test medicines on animals because if moral qualms regarding testing on people. It’s the next best thing. And once there is some demonstration of safety and efficacy at that level, we move to clinical trials. In this case, we already have plenty of evidence of actual human behavior and there is also the bonus if being able to talk to people about their social attitudes. There’s not much need to go back to bonobos. Furthermore, even if studying the social behavior of bonobos on order to understand human behavior has some scientific merit, if makes no sense to bring it up here because you’re not engaged in any kind of genuine scientific inquiry. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/269 "2013-09-27T18:23:14Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > I’m not here to argue, thats what all YOU have been doing, i didnt go looking 4 it. > > Then quit bringing it up. > > I’m asking for ideas not advice, and its not my job to conform to u. My goal is not to apply all u say. We’ll have to agree to disagree, and i ask u take it up in another thread if you wish but stop going off topic with talking about how you think i am using a term u dont like. No one is saying you have to conform to anything, and it’s completely on-topic as it specifically answers the question you posed in your OP. “Female” is not a term _I_ (personally) don’t like or a term that the other women in this thread don’t like, it’s a term that WOMEN don’t like. Do you want to attract women or not? That is a sure fire way to NOT. The point is, if you can’t even grasp, accept, or believe the basics of what is attractive to women (i.e., something several actual living breathing women have TOLD you), how can you understand more sophisticated ideas of what is attractive to us? Based on your responses to the rest of the ideas people have shared with you, you don’t really want to know the answer(s) you just want to argue with people. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/270 "2013-09-27T18:26:28Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > If it doesn’t make sense to look to an animal species containing 90% plus of our genes, does it make sense to do testing on other species to research medicine for humans? We also do medical studies on rats, who don’t really share much in common with us beside being mammals. We can also use pig skin for grafts, but pigs aren’t similar to us either. The amount of similarities or usefulness for human medical purposes in animals doesn’t mean they’re a great model for our social behaviors. That’s the whole nature vs nurture thing, again, where the society you grow up in helps to shape you along with your genes. Since monkeys will never experience being invited to a party or other mundane human things, their society does not function the same way ours does, and so they are an inferior source of social information in relation to humans. And if you can just get the information straight from humans, why turn to something inferior? We’ve got thousands of years of human history chock full of social examples straight from the source; we have humans alive right now that we can ask the opinions of and study their reactions. There’s no reason to turn to something that is an inferior model. Like they say, use a primary source whenever possible. Monkeys aren’t even close. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/271 "2013-09-27T18:40:17Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > No one is saying you have to conform to anything, and it’s completely on-topic as it specifically answers the question you posed in your OP. > > “Female” is not a term _I_ (personally) don’t like or a term that the other women in this thread don’t like, it’s a term that WOMEN don’t like. Do you want to attract women or not? That is a sure fire way to NOT. > > The point is, if you can’t even grasp, accept, or believe the basics of what is attractive to women (i.e., something several actual living breathing women have TOLD you), how can you understand more sophisticated ideas of what is attractive to us? > > Based on your responses to the rest of the ideas people have shared with you, you don’t really want to know the answer(s) you just want to argue with people. This thread was not a “can you all give ME advice on women,” it was a “what are your thoughts on female attraction.” In other words, the idea was attraction concepts not about my personal attractiveness and so it is off topic. I recall people started arguing with _me_ when I didn’t choose to take their advice which I am not required to that I know of. I didn’t start arguing with THEM. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/272 "2013-09-27T18:56:43Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > This thread was not a “can you all give ME advice on women,” it was a “what are your thoughts on female attraction.” In other words, the idea was attraction concepts not about my personal attractiveness and so it is off topic. > I recall people started arguing with _me_ when I didn’t choose to take their advice which I am not required to that I know of. I didn’t start arguing with THEM. The answer given, whether requested for personal use, or just out of general interest, is the same. Any person, trying to attract a member of the opposite sex is going to fail if they don’t adhere to a basic set of guidelines. In this particular case, the example of not labeling women as “females”. So regardless of whether your question was for personal use, or asked for general thoughts, the answer still applies. You keep hanging your hat on the one thing people are telling you is wrong, rather than viewing it’s overall use in answering your basic question. You are doing the same for the other thoughts people are giving you. It appears as if you have a set of “what is attractive to women” rules in your head, and whenever people tell you it’s wrong (even if they ARE women) you decide that it’s wrong. Why did you ask if you didn’t want to actually know, or already have your mind all made up? Many of us ARE women, so we more than you, will know what we find attractive. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/273 "2013-09-27T18:57:22Z")
Yeah, it’s so odd that when you keep using a term that people are telling you they find offensive that it derails a conversation. Makes you go hmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/274 "2013-09-27T19:00:10Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > What percentage of monkeys wear clothing, get married, create religions, form sports teams, file taxes, drive cars, take photos, or pen the complete works of Shakespeare? What percentage of social behavior do monkeys share with humans in your estimation? The similarities you pointed out are all the mind. Attraction isn’t in my experience related to the conscious mind (can be but in a lot of cases I don’t think it is about our intellect) Social behavior? While I am not a profesional, I think we share commonalities too, including alpha male or beta body language, being a pack species (gangs, patriotism, family, friends), showing our teeth as something to be accepted by others (smiling), playing with our young. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/275 "2013-09-27T19:04:19Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > This thread was not a “can you all give ME advice on women,” it was a “what are your thoughts on female attraction.” In other words, the idea was attraction concepts not about my personal attractiveness and so it is off topic. > I recall people started arguing with _me_ when I didn’t choose to take their advice which I am not required to that I know of. I didn’t start arguing with THEM. Okay, then we’re arguing with your faulty premise (that ape behavior has any bearing on human behavior) and offensive terminology. Your observations on one documentary do not provide sufficient data to make assumptions about human behavior which you appear to be completely foreign to. What if you posed the question thusly: “Hey, people, I watched a documentary on ape mating behavior and wondered if it had any parallels in even the most basic dimensions to human behavior. Thoughts?” Someone probably would have agreed that some women seem to be attracted to strong men in leadership roles, much like what you observed in the ape show. Is that what you want to hear? ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/276 "2013-09-27T19:05:22Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Yeah, it’s so odd that when you keep using a term that people are telling you they find offensive that it derails a conversation. Makes you go hmmmm. Hmmmm You appear to be right. Its a personal choice to say it and it seems its only negative association is by peoples’ interpretation. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/277 "2013-09-27T19:06:45Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > The similarities you pointed out are all the mind. Attraction isn’t in my experience related to the conscious mind (can be but in a lot of cases I don’t think it is about our intellect) > Social behavior? While I am not a profesional, I think we share commonalities too, including alpha male or beta body language, being a pack species (gangs, patriotism, family, friends), showing our teeth as something to be accepted by others (smiling), playing with our young. Oh my god, what?? Attraction isn’t related to the conscious mind? You must be joking, there is no other explanation. Then why, pray tell, isn’t the president of the US married to the dumbest, blondest, most famous and artificially enhanced porn star? ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/278 "2013-09-27T19:07:04Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Okay, then we’re arguing with your faulty premise (that ape behavior has any bearing on human behavior) and offensive terminology. Your observations on one documentary do not provide sufficient data to make assumptions about human behavior which you appear to be completely foreign to. What if you posed the question thusly: “Hey, people, I watched a documentary on ape mating behavior and wondered if it had any parallels in even the most basic dimensions to human behavior. Thoughts?” > > Someone probably would have agreed that some women seem to be attracted to strong men in leadership roles, much like what you observed in the ape show. Is that what you want to hear? Lady, are you just here to argue with me or talk about attraction? ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/279 "2013-09-27T19:08:50Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Lady, are you just here to argue with me or talk about attraction? I don’t talk to brick walls. Good luck with your fishing expedition. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/280 "2013-09-27T19:16:39Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Lady, are you just here to argue with me or talk about attraction? That’s the problem. You don’t want to talk about attraction, you have a carved-in-stone, PBS gleaned, narrow picture of what “attraction” means, and despite the question in your OP, you refuse to open your mind to actuality. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=15)